How I didn't go crazy...

When we got back to base on Thursday they needed to find people to stay the next Shabbat to do guard duty while everyone else goes home. (This is a regular procedure). Typically its not the worst thing in the world because you just have to switch Shabbats and you get to go home a different weekend. A lottery was held where they needed 2 people from 8 - only certain people were allowed to volunteer. Since nobody wanted to volunteer a lottery was held. I was chosen, and typically its not the worst thing in the world, but in this case it is! I failed to mention its a long weekened - its not just friday through sunday afternoon, but friday through wednesday morning. Sunday we have a field trip day, monday is Israel Rememberance Day and Tuesday is Independence Day. All that time is spent guarding. Not only does it suck to be guarding for Independence Day, but its my first independence Day in Israel and this was definitely not how I imagined spending it. If that doesn't suck enough it gets worse. I also left out the fact that the guard duty is out in the field on not on base.

We now have a new permanent field. Here is a description along with a picture. First the directions: Start from my base, which I had said was in the middle of nowhere. Before I continue I must apologize for misleading everyone when I mentioned my base was in the middle of nowhere. Compared to where the field is my base seems like Times Square in NYC. So from my base get on a bus and drive half an hour further south. Drive 10 minutes through a different base and into the desert behind it, which is a reserved IDF firing zone (like most of the open desert in Israel). Once you get off the bus, walk another 20 minutes until you get to our specified field, which is in the middle of nowhere.

On Friday we went there for my first time to help set stuff up in the morning. When they woke me up to start the 20 minute walk I looked around and I might have said some negative things about our location and the fact that I was to spend 6 days doing guard duty there. What I might have said is worse than what your thinking because I haven't gotten to the worst part yet. So what does the field consist of? tents (one of which is our mess hall) porta-potties, portable showers, a generator, random equipment and the tanks. We spend the week there while practicing with the tanks, but there is always a group of people guarding it 24/7 even when we aren't there. So it is pretty luxurious except in place of food we get battle rations (tuna, loof (kosher spam), etc.). So I'm going to be stuck eating crappy food that I hate while guarding for 6 days. That's still not the bad part. Before I start doing the guard duty on the thursday we are spending the week in the field, so I will be in the field for 11 straight days.

It gets worse (but this one is kind of my own doing, but nonetheless makes things worse). On the Thursday when I was voluntold (combination of volunteered and told - as in I was told (forced) to volunteer) for guard duty they told me that I would be going home 8 hours later on the Friday as if to switch my weekends. I was expecting to be on base for the weekend because that's what the schedule was. I had already mentally prepared myself to be on base. Secondly I had no plans for the weekend (and would have only had 1 hour to make plans before I went to bed and then already on my way home). I didn't want to waste my weekend without making plans. Thirdly I wanted to switch my weekend to a different one in the hopes that I could meet up with friends that are visiting from Canada. So I decided to hold off on my weekend basically meaning that I was going to be in the army for 23 straight days before going home. Given all the crap I just described, the ONLY thing that pissed me off is that I would be spending my first Independence Day in Israel in the middle of nowhere doing guard duty.

After shabbat ended we went into the field. So that 20 minute walk I was talking about - we did it with most of our equipment at 1AM because of logistical problems. That means we were supposed ot be in the field about 3 hours earlier. We got back to working on the tanks and this was the first time we got to do things with the tank in motion. It was awesome to be able to peek my head outside the tank to really be able to see what is going on. The loader is the only crewmember who has to stand all the time and hold onto something for dear life as the tank bounces me around. Think about riding a rollercoaster standing up without safety bars and not seeing or knowing which way your going to get thrown next. I also got to fire my MAG - aside from all the dust and wind in my face while driving 20 km/hr obstructing my view I had all the gunpowder from the bullets also in my face and could barely see a thing or breath.

On Thursday I got taken back to base for a few hours in order ot prepare my things for the next 6 days I would spend doing guard duty back in the field. I got a chance to shower as well as eat a real meal in the mess hall.We were 6 people plus our commander for shabbat but 2 people left us on Sunday. On Thursday and Friday we continued to do the weekly maintenance on the tanks. In addition to all the sweat, sand and dirt I accumulated on myself over the week, once you get to the maintenance part you can add oil, grease, diesel fuel and not showering to the mix. During the days it was hot as hell and impossible to fall asleep. It's too hot to move and I feel like a piece of crap - not in the general sense that I didn't feel well, but in the literal sense as in there are a billion flies constantly hovering around me as if I were a giant smelly turd.

Monday was Remembrance Day in Israel - where we remember the over 22,000 soldiers who have been killed defending Israel in its 62 years of existence. In both the evening and the morning a siren is sounded throughout the country and everything and everyone stops and stands for a moment of silence. A week before was Holocaust Memorial Day and for the moment of silence our company commander pulled up his jeep and turned on the radio so we could hear a few speeches. This time around we did not have that luxury, so the 5 of us stood in silence in the middle of nowhere hearing the same siren that was sounding all across the country. The next day was Independence Day where within a minute the mood of an entire country changes from the saddest day of the year to the happiest. My Independence day was spent probably doing the most Israeli/patriotic thing you can do - guard duty in the middle of the desert. However I would have much rather been spending it not in the army and with more then 4 other people. Clearly the best part of the day was that I was ACTUALLY in Israel! Aside from that the only other good part of the day was that I did NOT eat battle rations. It's a good thing that they brought us food for the holiday, otherwise I would have ended up starving myself for the day because I determined it is not possible to have a happy Independence Day with battle rations.

After 11 days in the field they took us to a different base to continue maintenance on the tanks. I had requested a day off to take care of business and on Wednesday at 6PM I was asked if I had my alef uniform with me (alef uniforms are the ones you wear in public, bet uniforms are work uniforms). I said yes, which meant the next day I was going home!!! One problem was that I didn't really have much else with me. I only took things I needed to the field - one of the things we had to pack was our alef uniform in circumstances such as these. So after 3 weeks in the army, what did I go home with? A clean towel, 2 pairs of clean socks, crocks, running shoes, sun glasses, my toiletry bag, shaver, wallet, camera, BROKEN phone, and the things i need in order to clean my gun. Now I also must define the word clean - if an article of clothing is covered in sand it can still be considered clean if it has not been used. The things I was missing that were at base - laundry, my mp3 player to recharge, clothing for the weekend and shabbat, underwear, and my large backpack itself. Additionally I was missing phone numbers of everyone I know in the country. (Aside: I ended up having to buy a new phone, and I was able to salvage phone numbers from the last time I backed up my phone 8 months ago :-(

So I finally left base and was really excited to get back to the kibbutz until I got on the bus and remembered how far away my kibbutz was. Four buses and over 7 hours later I got back to my kibbutz!!!

Surprisingly after being in the army for 22 straight days including 11 straight days in the field which included my first Independence Day it wasn't that bad. My only problem was that I was really pissed off that I was on base for Independence Day, and of course the 'food' they fed me. So in regards to the title of the blog post - how did I not go crazy? It must be a catch-22 situation because I must be crazy not to have gone crazy!

Guarding Kibbutzim

Wednesday it was back to base where on Thursday we headed out to do a week of guard duty on communities close to Gaza. Before we went out on Thursday we went to the shooting range for a refresher and some more practice, just in case. Our company was split up to 5 different communities. My community was the furthest away from Gaza - about 800 meters from the fence. We are 8 soldiers plus our commander and we all live in this house on the kibbutz. Compared to everyone else's accommodations, ours was the best. We figured this out when every night our deputy company commander, driver, and medic came back to our kibbutz to sleep. Most of our time here is either spent guarding, sleeping or preparing or eating meals. I have 2 shifts of guard duty - 3 hours during the day and 4 hours at night, which spans all hours of the clock.

As for the food situation - its still passover so the variety of food we can eat is limited. I now agree with pretty much everyone on the fact that passover sucks. The only situation where the holiday is awesome is when you get to eat food made by MY mother. Aside from the limited variety there is also a food shortage as we only get army shipments of food twice throughout the week and before we even started we realized we had to ration the food. We got packages of matzah ball mix which was awesome - we could have made about 100,000 matzah balls except for the fact thatwe were missing the only other 2 ingredients required - soup mix and eggs.

The week was very uneventful except for 2 drills that were held - one of whcih I was happy I didn't participate in and the second was the opposite feeling. The first drill was at 3AM where our commander woke everyone up and they had to practice what to do if a mortar shell/kassam rocket fell within the kibbutz. So how did I get out of the drill? Lucky for me I was already awake and guarding. The second drill I was also guarding throughout its duration. The infantry brigade that is guarding the general area held a drill whcih simulated terrorists within the kibbutz. Since I was already guarding I ended up doing nothing and listening to the radio chatter which was a bummer.

If you have a good eye, the answer is yes - the magazine is loaded in the chamber.

Touching the wall

This week was a complete waste of time. Tuesday and Wednesday was a holiday so we only came to base for Sunday and Monday and returned again on Thursday. The time that was not spent travelling to and from the base and the field was spent cleaning the tank. Monday was excruciatingly hot - reaching about 40 degrees celcius by 9AM. It was so hot that I couldn't touch any metal part of the tank (99% of the tank) with my bare hands for more than a few seconds. For the holiday of Shavuot on Tuesday I went to Tel Aviv to stay with a friend visiting from Toronto until I returned to base first thing on Thursday morning. We went out to dinner and there was this guy standing 5 meters from our table staring at us the entire time. Midway through the dinner we realized that 2 tables beside us was the Minister of Defense, Ehud Barak, which explained his body guard staring at us. On his way out I introduced myself and got a handshake.

Thursday it was back to base for 16 days - 2 full weeks of technical tank training in the field, but first we had to finish cleaning the tanks. Today I officially touched the wall. This is figurative because I did not actually come in any contact with a wall the entire day as I was out in the field, without any walls to touch. The army is seen as a race, and everyone is looking towards the end regardless if how long you have been in the army for. In this race, once you get to the halfway point you 'touch the wall' and start heading back for the second half of the journey. It's hard to believe that I have already been 9 months in the army - the time really flies by.

We headed back to the base for shabbat, but before shabbat entered they decided to punish us for acting like morons throughout the day. They decided to give us a 3rd guarding post for the duration of shabbat. That increased the amount of time we had to guard to 3.5 hours - about an hour extra because of the punishment. Shabbat is supposed to be our free time where they are not allowed to give us orders and there is no work they can make us do EXCEPT for guard duty.

Helping out lone soldiers

I have been off from the army since Thursday. I stayed the weekend in Jerusalem and hung out with my commander from basic training, Albert. He introduced me to this awesome couple from Tennessee who came to Israel about 10 years ago to basically dedicate their lives and everything they have to support lone soldiers - give them a place to sleep and eat for Shabbat or any time they need help. We went for Shabbat dinner where there were about a dozen other lone soldiers. The dinner and company was fantastic and Scott and Theresa are without a doubt the nicest and most helpful people I have ever met in my life. Even though it was a relatively short encounter of only one evening, I learned that they are extraordinary people who go to any length to make a lone soldier's life easier so that we can concentrate all our energy on our job of defending Israel. There are a lot of people and organizations that also address the same needs of lone soldiers but the most amazing part about Scott and Theresa's story is that they are not Jews, but Christians. To see their website and find out more about these truly incredible people, here is a link to their website.

A while back I was told about a big event for lone soldiers on passover. At the time when I requested to go I was told that the spots were full and I would not be able to go. Three days before the event I was told that a spot opened up for me! On Monday morning we headed to the event - a hotel right next to the beach. There was tons of food, entertainment, and more gifts for lone soldiers. In total there were about 500 people there. The best gift that was given out was received by one of my friends who lives with me on the kibbutz. He was chosen "randomly" from the crowd to come up on stage and have some small talk with Gabi Ashkenazi - the IDF's Chief of Staff. That in itself is pretty cool, but there were several other gifts that I would have preferred. So, after getting over the basics - where are you from, where do you serve, etc. he was asked if he could ask for anything in the world right now, what would it be? Trying not to say the wrong thing he was at lost for an answer, so with the hints given by Ashkenazi he answered that he would want to see his parents. Ashkenazi then told my friend to turn around, and when he did he was staring face to face with his parents. The IDF flew his parents in from the US to surprise him, and it worked. Not only was this my first Passover in Israel, but my first passover not spent at home with my family. Aside from the great time I had over the 2 days there with my friends, it was hard not to miss home, and the passover seder with the family and the best food cooked by mom.

I head back to base for just over 2 weeks, but when I get out, its for a long weekend. The Sunday is Yom Hazikaron (Israel Memorial Day) followed by Yom Ha'atzmaut (Israel Independence Day) on the Monday. I have 2 very interesting weeks up ahead, so make sure not to miss the next blog.

Chag Pesach Sameyach!

The following is a letter from a lone soldier that I read. I didn't write it, but it definitely is all true, and applicable to all lone soldiers.

What does it mean to be a soldier in the Israeli Army? It means freezing through cold winter nights and sweating in the sweltering desert sun. It means harships that you never knew existed and was sure that you could never complete. It means frindships so strong and rare that no words can describe them. And it means walking through the streets with your head held high no matter how tired or sore you are because you are a soldier in the Jewish army.

What does it mean to be a lone soldier? It means living in a new country and struggling with a new language and a different culture. It means having Israelis not fully appreciating how hard it is to go through this journey alone with your family on the other side of the world. It means coming home exhausted to a bedroom and having no mother or father to hug and welcome you back, no warm home cooked meal waiting for you on the kitchen table; just an empty fridge and a bag of meager items you picked up on the way. With the endless bus rides and ever growing pile of laundry, it is easy to wonder how different it would feel to come home to a caring family. It also means having random people in the streets hugging you and thanking you for coming, and taxi drivers inviting you over for dinner. It means feeling special that you are one of the few who have made this commitment and it means being able to look every Israeli in the eye and say "I know what you have gone through, I've done it too; you are not alone we are all in this together."

For some, the army is a military experience learning new skills and overcoming difficult obstacles. For others it is a social encounter with a diverse set of individuals. But for all it is an affirmation of our desire to actively connect to the Jewish people and be a part of creating the next chapter of our ancient story. Volunteers come from every corner of the world to serve. We speak different languages and have different customs. Nevertheless, we have several things in common with one another; we are all Jews, we are all dedicated to Israel, and we are all people of action who have given up much to come. Some have put their dreams of college and careers on hold. Others have left without the support of their families who don't understand why they would leave 'safe' and 'normal' lifestyles. The reality show us that although ideals are beautiful, words are not enough for us and that instead of dreaming, we have decided with our hearts to stand on our own two feet and with our own two hands make a difference.

Being a lone soldier in the Israeli army is far from easy, but the knowledge that our presence here is appreciated by Jews around the world is a great comfort. Moreover, a few words of appreciation, a package for the holidays, and fun day at the beach and an occasional phone call means a lot, because it reminds us why we are here and shows us that we are not standing alone.

-Avi and Yoav Schaefer

The warm up

After a nice relaxing shabbat on base, Sunday ended up being an extention of Shabbat - guarding and sleeping. They took us to a place near Be'er Sheva, which is a place where tons of soldiers go Sunday mronings on their way back to base to do guard duty. It was going to be a perfect day - 2.5 hour drive to get there, a few hours of guard duty with breaks in between and then a 2.5 hour drive back to base. What made the day even better was that the bus broke down on the way there for 2.5 hours so it was an extra 2.5 hours of sleep instead of guarding.



This week we finally started practicing in the tanks. Our company commander described this week as the warm up before the run. We mainly practiced fires and evacuating the injured. The loader has the most work to do in all the exercizes. In fact, aside from button pushing and joystick moving I did ALL the work. For the injury exercizes I have to drag the injured to the back door of the tank, which is no simple task at all. All the space in the tank is taken up by either weapons, weapon related systems or ammo. It is not made for spaceous lviing or accessibility. So aside from the fact that I have no idea how Asaf, the 6'2" 200 pound gunner gets into his chair in under 15 seconds (starting with his feet on the ground outside the tank) I have no clue how I'm going to drag his limp body through the tank hwere all the help I get from the commader is that he moves his legs to the side s oAsaf can squeeze by as I drag him by the straps on his vest. There is absolutely no easy way to grab a hold of the injured. hopefully I will only need to do this in practice be cause those exercieses were hard and obviously no fun at all.



On wednesday night during our hour of free time, my commander came and told me just after I had gotten out of the shower that our tzevet had 7 minutes to be dressed and at the tank - obviously that meant that we didn't check the tank properly and that we forgot to do something. After spending about a minute and a half trying to find everyone else in my tzevet, needless to say I didn't have much time remaining. I did however have enough time assuming I didn't screw up getting dressed. I think you can figure out where this is going. After I finished lacing up my boots I realized I had my pants on backwards. Decision time: be late and dressed properly or on time and hope that my commander doesn't notice. It would only be maximum 5 minutes at the tank and it was relatively dark outside. We finished with the tank and he didn't notice the backwards pants. I rushed back to my room to change before any of the commanders bug me for anyting else. Before I could start getting undressed another commander tells me that the social worker is waiting to see me... now. Ugggggghhh.... okay... I find her and she says follow me. Where do we go? Right into the office of the company commander. SHIT! He tells me to sit down. I strategically placed my gun over my crotch to hide where the buttons should be. After a minute of small talk he wished me a happy passover and gave me a give (Lone soldiers get lots of gifts at the holidays). Now for the exit: I stand up and take steps backwards and sideways as not to turn around so he doesn't see the buttons on my ass. I maange to make a clean exit and get changed be fore anyone noticed (I hope). At this point I can only hope that the company commander hasn't lost all his faith in me.



Along with a bunch of gift certificates Ialso received the most ironic gift ever from the Friends of the IDF. For passover they gave me a sandwhich maker. No explanation needed, but for those who don't get it passover is a holiday where amongst many other things we dont eat bread.



Thursday I go tthe day off which was fantastic. Aside from the obvious plusses to a longer weekend I missed a day full of cleaning the tanks and barracks. On top of that they were doing passover cleaning which means that if cleaning were made a sport, passover cleaning would be the extreme version of it.

Where the hell am I supposed to be?

Sunday it was back to base to really start our advanced training. I was excited to get back to start training and the only thing that was goingto stop me was traffic. It took me 9 hours to get back to base :-(

We got our tanks and there is one other tzevet that shares the tank with mine. The plus to this is that all the cleaning is split into half, but not to worry because there is more than enough sand in the desert to keep me cleaning the tank for eternity. Our 2 tzevets are responsible for hte upkeep on the tank. In basic training we were not seriously held responsible for the tank's upkeep nor were we assigned to a specific tank. Now for example, if something isn't done right with respect to closing up the tank atthe end of the day they wake you up in the middle of the night to go to the tanks to fix it.

So in the middle of my deep sleep I got woken up in a daze by the company commander. To put that in perspective, it's not really his job to be waking up soldiers - think of your principal coming into your class to wake you up. Without having time to fully wake up and figure out what was going on he asked me where I was supposed to be. Rightfully so, he wanted to know why I was sleeping when everyone else was awake. I asked him what time it was and he said 530. Still unsure of anything I asked "in the morning?" He then responded, "no in the evening." Well that was a stupid question, right? (It was - I should have known damn well it was the afternoon). What did I say next? I glanced around the room and saw nobody else in their beds, I looked outside (it was still light) and I looked at my watch (it wasn't 530, but it was 1730) and then said in a completely serious tone "really????" He obviously wasn't lying the first time so he responded yes. Okay, so now there was no doubt in my mind that it was 530 in the afternoon, but I still had absolutely no idea where I needed to be. All that came out of my mouth was "ummmmm. ummmmmmmmm. ummmmmmmmmmmm." holding the "ummmm" as long as I could before having to take another breath while trying to st all for time and figure out wher ethe hell I was supposed to be! Still not a clue, and there was nobody else to help me. Obviously seeing that this was going nowhere, the company comander said "weren't you working in the kitchen earlier?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Finally that was the kick start my brain needed. I was back to life and could communicate like a normal human being not asking moronic questions. I told him that I was on break from the kitchen and he said okay and left me alone. So here is the story that accompanies the moronic ending and me looking like a complete idiot in front of the company commander.

We had a masa this week - it was more of a ceremonial masa as it was only 4km plus another 2 with the stretcher. At the end we received the tag of our batallion. Until now we have had the tag of the school of shiryon, but now we finally have the tag representing my batallion. All this happened in the middle of the night where they woke us up and we had to get dressed and outside as fast as we can. I managed to be one of the first ones dressed and I managed to grab the heaviest thing - the 25 pound radio. I have mentioned before that more we might makes it more fun, but with the radio it is even better because I actaully have a job as opposed to carrying only dead weight. In layman's terms I was a prtable receptionist. I had to listen to the radio chatter and give the phone to the commander when required. The masa occurred at midnight which was already after our room got woken up by the commander to arrange the things in our room and then again after I got woekn up to do my shift of guard duty. We went back to bed a 230 and I had to wake up earlier than everyone else in order to go work in the kitchen all day.

After the lunch rush I was put on the most difficult, annoying and worst job in the kitchen - scrubbing all the pots and pans from lunch that was required to serve the food for over 2000 people. Ther ewere 5 of us working and we were told that once we finished we could leave and have a break until 630. We all hauled ass for 3 hours and managed to get a 2.5 hour break! I went back to my room and passed out cold on my bed. My complete exhaustio from the hard work as well as horrible sleep othe night before added onto always being constantly exhausted led to me waking up to a complete daze and not knowing where I was.

Tank mem peh!!!!!!!

After 9 days off it was back to the army to start 4 months of advanced training. 9 days off was the perfect amount of time off. After such a busy vacation I returned to the army already exhausted (it probably didn't help that I only slept 3 hours the night before I had to go back). This week started out great with a 2 day tour up north to see what life is like after we finish training and start guarding the border with Syria. The first thing I learned was that we were not staying shabbat on base this week!

We went to visit two different bases and saw how they live. The first base used to be an old British hotel with a beautiful view - now the building looks like an abandoned one turned into a makeshift army base. So what do they do all day? Either 4-4 or 4-8: 4 hours of guarding and 4 hours off or 4 hours guarding and 8 hours off. During your time off you also have to do other random jobs so its not like you have all that time to sleep. How long does this last for? Approximately 2 weeks straight and then you get a few days off for an extended weekend. The guard duty is not done in tanks - its just regular guard duty. A large part of the 2 days was spent traveling and therefore we had a lot of time to sleep. We ended up sleeping in 20 person tents at night and were happy to return to the base the next day. The best part of going back to base was that it took about 7 hours - meaning lots of time to sleep on the bus. We get off the bus in the evening and begin to pitch the same tents again - 40 meters from our new barracks. aaaarrrrrggggg!!! Apparently the rooms "aren't ready yet" - whatever the hell that means.

Tuesday was spent loading dishes in the dishwasher in the kitchen from 7AM to 9PM. I was working alongside my old samach - one of the guys that ordered me around all day and made me do push-ups only one week earlier. He is on his way to officers training and before that he also has to spend time doing bitchwork. Everyone came by to laugh at him and the fact that he was working alongside one of his old soldiers.

This week our commanders are spending the week getting things ready so they send us to do bitchwork because there is nothing for us to do. On Wednesday we woke up and after our commanders gave us the standard amount of time to get ready for the day he never returned to tell us what to do when the time was up. Everyone went back to bed and I got another 45 minutes of sleep. After breakfast I did about an hour of physical labour. Throughout the day I did an hour of guard duty and aside from that the remainder of the day was spent sitting on the bed in the tents or lying down resting and dozing off to sleep. Fast forward to dinner time where they told us to be back at the tents at 630. Again our commanders never showed up. After another hour nap, conversing and writing the blog until this point its 915 and time for another nap. 40 minutes later I was worken up and we were given our standard hour of free time before bed - what a great day!!!

Thursday we moved into our new rooms, got our equipment, met our commanders and got put into our tzevets and machlakot. My tzevet is 4 people - Ohad the driver, Asaf the gunner, myself and the commander. For the next 4 months the 4 of us will be doing all our training together. Each commander in the company (pluga) has its own tzevet except for the company commander (mefaked pluga - mem peh for short) and his deputy. IF (emphasis on the if) we end up doing a company wide exercise then they have their designated tzevets which are decided at the beginning (now). I was chosen from 17 loaders in the company along with my other tzevet members to be in the company commander's tzevet. So what does that mean? IF there is a company wide exercise, we get to shoot more shells, do more work, and therefore have more fun!

Once we got into our rooms I was wishing we were still in the tents because at least there was some breeze. Did I mention that this week was absurdly hot? How hot was it? I will put it this way - I was happy to have guard duty right after bedtime at 930PM standing next to the tanks with exhaust smoke and dust blowing in my face and my entire body instead of having to be in my room trying to sleep in what felt like a sauna. This week the temperature was probably a high of 35 degrees Celsius and a low of 15. I can already foresee things getting worse as we approach the summer months. This is a serious question: is it even spring yet in Israel or still "winter"? Is there a thing called spring? Did I somehow miss it?

We were told our schedule for the next 4 months and what we will be doing. I'm not going to spill the beans now - the entire point of the blog is that you continue to read it. I will say though that the training is going to be intense, hard, interesting and hopefully also fun. I will say that during the training we will have a week of training that is called "war week". The scheduling itself is awesome - most importantly all the holidays off- the passover seder, Remembrance Day and Independence day, and Shavuot.

Starting this weekend, now I finally get to go home with something that identifies me as a combat soldier - my gun! Until now while I had my green training beret I was obviously a trainee, but once I got my black beret I could easily be mistaken for something worse than a trainee - a jobnik (someone who has a regular job in the army). Now it feels good to have my gun off base, but I'm sure very shortly its going to start to be a pain in my ass. I'm sure I will constantly end up bumping into people with it on buses and trains and other annoying things like that. Until that happens I will just enjoy looking like a combat soldier.

9 days off!!!!

After 4 months of service every soldier gets a scheduled week off the army. So after 6 months I finally got mine!! Since it spans 2 weekends my break is 9 days! Most soldiers spend their time sleeping or doing nothing at home. For me, this week is one of the busiest weeks ever. When I get off for a regular weekend (get home Friday late morning and have to return to base first thing Sunday) I am pretty much restricted to doing only one thing because the buses stop running on Shabbat leaving me no way to get around. Now that I have 9 consecutive days off I have the opportunity to do what I couldn't do before - ride the buses! With my week all planned out utilizing my time maybe too efficiently I am traveling back and forth across the country meeting up with friends and family. A couple of my initial plans didn't work out but I was able to reschedule and it ended up working to my benefit as I managed to see a few other friends in the last minute because of the change. In order to succeed in my mission of seeing as many people as possible, aside from Shabbat I am not spending more than 13 consecutive hours in the same city. It is a very good thing that Israel is a small country and that soldiers ride the bus for free.

So here is what I did on my very exhaustive week:
After getting back to my kibbutz from base at 1130PM on Thursday I left Friday morning to Kfar Saba to visit family for Shabbat. After sleeping 13 hours I was forced to take an hour and a half nap just to get through the rest of the day. If you were thinking that it seems like I am a very busy person and I possibly over planned my week off and that I should take some time off for myself to sleep this is my response to you. Whats the point in sleeping if I am going to be just as tired when I wake up. All I end up doing is wasting all that time that I sleep. I still managed to sleep my 6 hours a night (without having to wake up inthe middle to do guard duty) catch some extra ZZZZs on the bus rides and I am still constantly exhausted. After Shabbat ended it was off to the neighbouring city of Ra'anana to party with my AEPi brothers.

Sunday was a double holiday, with the first being Purim. Having been in Israel for 9 months, this is the first holiday I am not on base for. I did get Yom Kippur off, but that doesn't count. I took a bus and train (2 hours) to Rehovot to have purim lunch with my family. In the evening I met up again with AEPi north of Tel Aviv to celebrate the second holiday - Canada beating the US in the gold medal hockey game of the olympics! What a game it was - I only wish I could have been back at home for the celebration. We were at a bar with a fair amount of both Canadians and Americans so that made it more exciting but nothing close to what it would have been like back home.

Monday it was off to Jerusalem to have lunch with a good friend. I also continued my unsuccessful search for a manetachen (haman ear) (a special cookie you eat on Purim) that comes anywhere close to my mom's. I stopped off at Marzipan - the bakery that has the best rugellah in the world in the hopes that this would also be true for the hamentashen. This was not the case. I headed back up north to my kibbutz (2.5 hours) for a place to sleep and managed to meet up with a friend that was with me in Mikve Alon for dinner in Afula, which is next to my kibbutz.

Tuesday I met up with 3 friends that I haven't seen in a total of 7.5 years - one of which was on my birthright trip 4 years ago and I haven't seen him since. First thing in the morning it was 2.5 hours back to Jerusalem to see 2 of those friends and then in the evening it was off to Tel Aviv for the night.

Wednesday it was 2 hours back to the kibbutz in order to pack my things for the army. I don't have a chance to get back to grab the stuff I need, so now I started carrying around 2 massive bags because the army made me take everything home. In the evening I went to Haifa to see another friends I haven't seen in 2 years.

Thursday I went to Mikve Alon for the day to visit with my old commanders. In the evening it was off to Herzliya again for AEPi chills which included one friends from the states.

Friday morning it was off to Jerusalem to have lunch with my commander. Now that basic training is over and he is no longer my commander we have 'broken distance' and I can speak to him like a real person. I found out he actaully speaks nearly fluent English as opposed to the next to nothing I though up until now. We ended up getting a 10% discount and a free shot of Arak when he found out we were both lone soldiers. After Jerusalem it was off ot my cousin's house for Shabbat where there wasn't much time to relax because of all the insane young kids.

After 9 long crazy days its back to the army for I think 2 weeks. I don't really know what we are doing, but you will find out when I get back off base!

Here is a video that I came across. I think its hilarious and that its applicable to where I live (my tank) with a few minor changes. In addition to a 7.62mm machine gun on the turret I also have a 12.7mm (1/2 inch) machine gun and the 120mm main cannon. On top of that my house isn't a glass house, but its a TANK!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK2Bw1tI_-k

masa kumta

The week started off with a day off which was pretty awesome until it ended up getting me screwed. As a lone soldier I am entitled to one day off every month to take care of personal business. I haven't been asking for mine partly out of laziness and my commander approached me about it and told me to take a day off (how cool is that?). I ended up going to Tel Aviv to meet up with some friends, which definitely made the day well worth it. I also baught a pair of new Asics running shoes that cost less than my lunch! (and I didn't have anything noteworthy for lunch). I paid about $12 for the shoes at a discount of about 94%!! It's actually quite easy to get the discount - all you need to do is put your life on the line and join the IDF as a combat soldier. The day was a lot of fun and the only thing i missed on base was the BEGINNING of cleaning.

Since we finished basic training we have to clean, scrub, paint, arrange, and inventory everything. This week really did suck, and I haven't even gotten to the crappy part yet. We gave back all our equipment, inventoried it and then packed kitbags with all the equipment for the new trainees. We cleaned the tanks and did inventory on all the tools. We cleaned the barracks until they were brand new, then did it again and scrubbed the walls. It was like we were preparing for the massiah. This took about 4 days and was horrible.

So what was the worst part of the week and how did I get screwed? Well what was supposed to be the best part of the week ended up being the worst - the masa kumta and everything related to it: the preparation, the actual masa and the ceremony which followed. I had just come back from a meeting and my samach (the disciplinarian) told me to "get ready for the masa that you probably aren't doing." WHAT?!?!?! He said because I didn't sleep on the base last night I might not be able to do the masa. I said I'm going on the masa and went to get ready. I was outside waiting with everyone else and I had managed to get my hands on the stretcher for some extra weight on the hike (extra fun). After a few minutes the samach came up to me and said take off the stretcher becuase I'm not doing the masa. I said I don't care what you tell me, there is no way I'm not doing the masa. An argument ensued with my main point being how this was fucking bullshit that the army gives me a free day off that I didn't ask for and now I can't do the masa because I didn't sleep on the base. His counterpoint was "your not doing the masa". He did point out that he only found out about this 'rule' a few hours ago (which was true) however it didn't make the situation any less rediculous. I then ended up speaking with the company commander and he gave me permission to join the masa partway through, which I still wasn't satisfied with. After that I ended up seeing the doctor who gave me permission to do the masa, then everything was okay, or so I thought. We took a bus out to the middle of nowhere where we were going to start the hike (yes the waiting and preparation phase of the masa lasted about 5 or 6 hours). 10 minutes before we were about to start the masa the samach came back to me and told me to get on the bus because I'm not doing the masa from the start. Another argument ensued with me outlining my previous points as well as that the doctor said there was not a problem. His response was get on the bus and join in the middle or your going back to base and not doing it at all. I ended up having to leave the stretcher for someone else to carry and get on the bus, and I was more than pissed off. I ended up doing 20 of the 25 km hike and was pissed off and in a horrible mood for the hour and a bit I waited until I joined the hike and then the other 4 hours of hiking in silence.

After the hike we had the ceremony where we finally get our berets. I was in such a shitty mood, it was the last place I wanted to be. I was soaking wet from sweat and therefore freezing cold because it was after midnight. I was hungry because we hadn't eaten anything since lunch, and I was just generally pissed off because I couldn't do the entire masa. On top of that the ceremony was going to take a while, we still had to eat and get our hour of free time, so it was going to be a while before I got to bed (we ended up going to bed at 3AM). So the last place I wanted to be was out in the cold, hungry, tired and standing for an hour while I got my beret. So after a bunch of ceremonial procedures I was standing there like a zombie wondering when it was going to be over so I could go change clothes, eat and sleep the commanders finally came around to give us our berets. The commanders come around one by one and take your green beret off your head and switch it with a black one. Then they give you a congratulatory punch in the upper chest. I wasn't really paying too much attention to what was going on, so I didn't take notice that the commanders were giving the congradulatory punches until I received mine - but more on that in a bit. So I'm standing there thinking come on, lets get this over with I want to get the hell out of here and then I hear someone behind me say Alex, turn around. I turned around to face the mashad (his main job is scheduling for the entire pluga, and he is the highest ranking person in the pluga that is not an officer) who ended up giving me HIS beret, not just a beret. Every commander gives his beret to one person, which is completely subjective and up to each specific commander. So after he put his beret on my head out of nowhere he took half a step backwards, wound up and punched me as hard as he could in the chest. I was totally not prepared for it and after the ceremony the guys around me said that I received the hardest punch from any of the commanders. It hurt like hell, but I didn't react to it. Chances are I caused him indirect grief when I put up a fight trying to go on the masa. Or stressed him out when I was doing exercises in the tank with him, or he just get kicks out of punching people, but whatever his reasons I probably deserved the punch. I was in such a shitty mood I wasn't able to appreciate the honor of receiving the beret from one of the top commanders, and the only thing that was on my mind was how cold, wet, hungry, tired and now in pain I was.

I later found out that my pluga was the only one that managed to overturn the rule so that I was able to do at least part of the masa. I was still pissed off, but at least the fight I was able to put up accomplished something.

Wednesday was the last day of basic training, and we ended up breaking distance with my commander and samach because they were not continuing on to advanced training with us. We were notified that our pluga was going to be split up into 2 new plugot and that we would be getting our week vacation starting next Thursday, as opposed to having it right away and getting 9 days off instead of 7. That was a real bummer because I would end up being on base for Purim - another holiday, as well as having to miss the gold medal Olympic hockey game. On Thursday we split up into our new pluga and had a meeting with our new commander of the pluga. As he was talking about general introductory things he told us that we were going home for the weekend and going on vacation so we would be getting 9 days off!!! I wanted to jump out of my chair and hug him! This happened at 3PM in the afternoon and we left base at 5PM. It started to pour and I had to take home EVERYTHING I owned - which was four bags worth of clothing. I didn't get to my kibbutz until 1130PM, but it sure beat the hell out of staying on base in the rain. By the way, it rained the entire way home and the bus was leaking because of the rain so my entire right side of my body was soaked for about 4 hours of the drive. It was a pain in the ass because I had no time to plan my vacation and the army tends to do things like that, but I do have most things planned out. I plan on doing a lot of traveling visiting friends and family on my time off. When I get back to the army we are taking a trip up north for a few days to see exactly what life will be like after training and then we head back to base to start our advanced training stage which will last four months.

Is ready for war (according to the IDF)

After Shabbat ended we went to the field to start firing real ammunition from the tank. This is our big week which culminates with us loading a firing a real 120 mm shell from the tank. On Sunday we did a quick exercise just to feel what its like to fire real ammunition from the MAG and 0.5" machine gun. Firing from the MAG was awesome - you just put the butt of the gun to the side of your helmet and hold the trigger as you start to spray bullets. It was very different and easier to fire the MAG when it was attached to the tank than when we were out in the shooting range where the butt of the gun was pounding against your shoulder and your body absorbs all the energy. We were shooting at targets down below and as you hold down the trigger you see all the dust kick up from the bullets. It was even more fun at night when you fired the tracer bullets which light up when you shoot them to help you see at night.

Aside from the fact tanks are awesome they are a pain in the ass to clean and prepare. Before we do anything on the tank we have to check everything. There is also a midday checkup and an end of day cleanup and post-preparation (yes, I am aware that is an oxymoron, but believe me that it exists). There is also an end of week cleaning of the tank which reminds you that all fun things come at a cost. The enjoyment of cleaning is inversely proportional to how much fun we have during the week. The more fun we have, the dirtier the tanks and weapons get, and therefore the harder it is to clean. So what kind of tools do you equip yourself with to clean tanks and guns? Toothbrushes and screwdrivers. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I had the test during the day and again at night. In order for everyone to complete it in the same day we woke up at 220AM. By 4AM we were preparing the tank for the day. Once the sun rose I waited and waited for my hour-ish long test. I realized that tests are much more fun when they involve firing ammunition from tanks as opposed to arranging formulas and banging my head against a desk in frustration. A helmet would have come in use then as well. After everyone finished the test we sat around and did nothing until the sun went down so we could do it all over again at night - which made for a really long day. The first 45 minutes was without ammo constantly loading and unloading the 50ish pound shells from inside the tank to jumping up and reaching for the MAG out side the tank. After less than 5 minutes I was already completely soaked with sweat pouring down my face. Aside from the fact that its not easy work and clearly you have to load the shells more quickly than as fast as possible it gets very hot. Firstly we are out in the middle of the desert. Secondly, it was exceptionally hot this week for February - over 30 degrees. I'm also in a tank so it's always hotter inside than outside the tank. On top of the weather conditions you have the uncomfortably hot dress attire: A one piece jumpsuit (in place of the 2 piece uniform), a thick shrapnel proof vest and on top of that my equipment vest that holds the ammo to my M16, helmet and gloves. The last 10 minutes of practicing without ammo was done with a gas mask on, and thus made it more hot, difficult to see and exponentially harder to breathe. The not seeing in the gas mask was not that bad because I am already used to not seeing anything in the dark. At night you set the light so that you can just start to see things. The test was very similar to what we did the day before. We didn't fire real shells but test shells that fire 20mm bullets instead because the IDF has no money. When you fire the bullet from the cannon you hear a click which is very uninteresting and uneventful.

After I completed the test at night in accordance to the IDF I am now prepared for war, and that I have been given the bare minimum amount of training needed to go to war if need be. I still have 4 more months of training before I am ready to really start guarding the borders and be fully trained, but apparently now I am ready, however I beg to differ. But since when do I know what is best? I'm just a trainee.

The last 2 months of learning my job as a loader has come to the pinnacle where we get to fire a real shell from the cannon with all 4 crew members in the tank together. Ironically it was much more awesome to stand on my chair in the tank looking outside through binoculars while the tank 7 meters away from me fired its shell. We were listening in on the radio so we knew what was going on and when the tanks were firing. When the tank next to me fired, there was a loud boom, there was dust everywhere and the ground shook - it was awesome. Then it was my tanks turn. The shell was loaded, and ready to be fired, I was behind my safety bar and just waiting for it to happen. The commander shouted 'fire!' and then all of a sudden - BOOM! The shell was gone, and in a split second the cannon recoiled with a force of 70 tons less than an arms length from my face. Surprisingly I didn't feel the tank shake like when the tanks next to me fired, and the boom wasn't as loud as when I had my head outside the tank, but it was still awesome.

We returned back to base on Wednesday at lunchtime and for the next day and a half cleaned the tanks and barracks. As I was cleaning one of the MAGs I managed to somehow misplace one of the pins. One of the things you have to be aware of is not to lose parts of the gun, because then they don't work. For the M16 there is something called the Shabbat pin, which means if you lose it they make you stay shabbat as a punishment. On the MAG there is the pin chodesh (month) basically meaning your stuck on base for a month if you lose it. The good news is that I didn't lose that pin. The bad news is that the pin I lost doesn't have a name because nobody ever loses it because nobody ever takes that pin out. As we were cleaning up and putting the MAG back together I realized it didn't work, and the commander came over and looked at and took out one of the pieces and asked where is the pin that is supposed to hold this. I realized at that moment that I was completely screwed and there was no way in hell I was going to find this pin that I didn't even know I lost because it wasn't something I was supposed to take apart. He started yelling at me asking me why I took it apart because I wasn't supposed to. I told him I swear I didn't take it apart and I have no idea how I lost it. He said find 2 friends and find that pin - your not leaving here until you do. Thankfully my friend found the pin within 5 minutes in a tank of diesel (which was my first guess of where it might have been because that is what you clean the gun in). I gave him a big hug because I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't find that pin. Within 5 minutes after I found the pin the same commander called everyone over to explain that someone had already lost a pin, and then the best thing that could have happened happened. He then held up the exact same pin that I had lost and said that somebody else had ALSO lost the pin. I had a big smile on my face because then he knew that I wasn't the only fool that managed to lose it and that it couldn't have been my fault.

Next week is the last week of basic training where we have our final masa (25 km) where on completion we get to rid ourselves of our green trainee beret and finally get our black beret which identifies us as shiryonairim! After that we start our advanced training phase of training, which hopefully starts with a full week off from the army! Either I have a week off starting on the 25th or the week after. I still have no idea, so I'm not able to make any plans yet, which is a real pain in the ass.