Friday, January 22, 2010
Living like a king
When I got back to base on Tuesday, the week was nearly half over. Instead of joining the rest of my pluga I joined in the middle of a week of ulpan (hebrew lessons). It was good to get a bunch of formal classes of hebrew as opposed to trying to learn it on the fly. The best part of the ulpan was that I lived like a king, and by king I mean jobnik. A jobnik as it sounds is someone in the army wthat has what can be compared to as a normal 9-5 job - only about 10% of the army is combat soldiers. Jobniks don't go through the same intensive training, they tend to sleep moer and even get to go home mostly every weekend if not every day. We were treated like real human beings. The people in charge of us were not commanders, so we could talk to them like normal people becuase there is no distance between them and us like there is with our commanders. They gave us a reasonable amount of time to do things - for example 20 minutest o do everything as opposed to breaking it down to (3.5 minutes to run and brush our teeth, then 4 minutes to run and shine our shoes, 4 minutes to shave, and 5 minutes to make our beds). They took away our guns because we don't need them when we sit in the classroom, so we didn't have to do guard duty and got to sleep 8 consecutive hours, whcih is practically an eternity. It's ironic that I got a better night sleep during the 2 days of ulpan than I did staying in a hotel with my parents for a week! My only responsibilities were to be in the classroom on time after the breaks and to stay awake all day , so it was kind of like a vacation. And the best part was that we were allowed to do as we pleased on our breaks including using our phones! So what was the downside to the ulpan? I missed out on the FUN stuff (yes I did say fun - read on). So I missed 3 hours of krav maga and getting gassed. What is getting gassed you ask? you stand in a tent with your gas mask on, they release the gas and you remove your mask. (Yes I did say fun stuff if it wasn't clear before). From what I heard it was obviousy horrible in the moment but awesome after it was all said and done.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Milford Academy, Touring with the family and the hashba'ah
This week we had our survival week, or as the title says The Milford Academy - 'where children are neither seen nor heard'. If you don't get the joke, watch Arrested Development. If you have seen the show and still don't get the joke, shame on you. And yes, I have been waiting a long time to use this joke. We started by digging ourselves ditches so we can pitch our tents lower to the ground. The next day we did exercises with moving and communicating without speaking and creating lookout points where you are hidden. It was really interesting and a lot of fun.
After only one day of that they sent me back to base because on Tuesday I got to go home to meet my parents for the week.I ended up missing a game of capture the flag type game in the evening where each tzevet had to try and remain hidden from the others while trying to catch them. I also missed a 7+1 km masa. That means it was 7km plus 1km while carrying someone on a stretcher. I was upset that I had to miss those fun things but it was good that I got time off to see my parents and my uncle who came for Toronto to visit me.
Ben Gurion's grave in Sde Boker
Thursday was my swearing in ceremony in Latrun, which is the armored corps museum and memorial. I had to show up in the morning so that we could practice standing still and the few different stances we need to be in. The one good thing about the ceremony was that it was short - only 45 minutes, and there was no marching involved. That saved a lot of practicing time considering it was a hot day. I didn't understand most of the speeches or what people were saying during the ceremony, but it was really meaningful to get sworn into the army as a combat soldier and especially to have my parents come from Toronto to see it. After the ceremony we got to take our gun home for the weekend which was awesome.
Me receiving my gun
The next day I took a tour of the Old City with my family. I was strutting around with uniform and my gun, so I felt quite good about myself. The one thing the army does not prepare us for is tourists. What do you do when I'm standing alone talking on the phone to a friend and some tourist stands 4 feet next to me and poses for a picture? Do I have to tell my friend to hold on a second while I take a picture, ignore the tourist, or take out a tip jar? Also, is it my job to know the name of the border crossing to Jordan just south of the King Hussein Bridge? And if that question wasn't hard enough, the follow up question was what time are they opened until and how much does it cost to cross? Do I tell him I don't know, say to him in Hebrew that I don't speak english, or say to him in perfect english 'How the heck should I know? I'm not from here either!'
Me and the Merkeva 3 (My new ride)
After only one day of that they sent me back to base because on Tuesday I got to go home to meet my parents for the week.I ended up missing a game of capture the flag type game in the evening where each tzevet had to try and remain hidden from the others while trying to catch them. I also missed a 7+1 km masa. That means it was 7km plus 1km while carrying someone on a stretcher. I was upset that I had to miss those fun things but it was good that I got time off to see my parents and my uncle who came for Toronto to visit me.
When I got off base I went to meet my family in Eilat. There was not really much to do there, so we eneded up doing a boat cruise that had a glass bottom so you could see the coral and the fish. On Wednesday we made the long trip up from Eilat to Jerusalem with some stops to sight see along the way. I have seen a lot of Israel, but it was finally nice to check out some sites I had never seen before. We went to Mitzpe Ramon, which is a giant crater in the middle of the desert. I drive by there on my way to base, but I am always asleep, so I had never actually seen it. From there we went to Sde Boker which is where David Ben Gurion, Israel's first Prime Minister lived and is buried. After finishing with politics he decided to move to the kibbutz which is in the middle of nowhere in the desert. His focus was on the importance of the desert and the need to make the desert bloom in order to make Israel stable and successful. His house was preserved to the way it looked on the day that he died. Unfortunately I could not take pictures. From there we went to Jerusalem and spent over 2 hours getting lost and looking for a parking spot.
Ben Gurion's grave in Sde BokerThursday was my swearing in ceremony in Latrun, which is the armored corps museum and memorial. I had to show up in the morning so that we could practice standing still and the few different stances we need to be in. The one good thing about the ceremony was that it was short - only 45 minutes, and there was no marching involved. That saved a lot of practicing time considering it was a hot day. I didn't understand most of the speeches or what people were saying during the ceremony, but it was really meaningful to get sworn into the army as a combat soldier and especially to have my parents come from Toronto to see it. After the ceremony we got to take our gun home for the weekend which was awesome.
Me receiving my gunThe next day I took a tour of the Old City with my family. I was strutting around with uniform and my gun, so I felt quite good about myself. The one thing the army does not prepare us for is tourists. What do you do when I'm standing alone talking on the phone to a friend and some tourist stands 4 feet next to me and poses for a picture? Do I have to tell my friend to hold on a second while I take a picture, ignore the tourist, or take out a tip jar? Also, is it my job to know the name of the border crossing to Jordan just south of the King Hussein Bridge? And if that question wasn't hard enough, the follow up question was what time are they opened until and how much does it cost to cross? Do I tell him I don't know, say to him in Hebrew that I don't speak english, or say to him in perfect english 'How the heck should I know? I'm not from here either!'
I go back to the army on Tuesday, so I still have time off which is awesome. I'm going out to restaurants with my family, so I'm enjoying the good meals. I am excited to get back though because I get to find out what my job will be in the tanks. We now start our basic training with the tanks which will hopefully be very exciting. I'm stuck on base for shabbat, so my next update will be in 2 weeks.
Me and the Merkeva 3 (My new ride)Friday, January 1, 2010
My foolproof plan to take over the world
With all the 'free' time I have while doing guard duty in the middle of the night in the field I have a lot of time to think. To review, when you guard you are allowed to do 2 things - stand and guard. I don't think your even allowed to think, but there is no definative way for them to check on that. So the title of this blog post kinda gives it away, but here is how I'm going to take over the world...
I'm starting my recruitment now, so if you would like to join me send me an email or a facebook message or something. What are the requirements? You have to be left handed - thats it. Sorry to the majority of the human race, but soon enough you will be under my control and there is nothing you can do about it. I know what your all thinking now and the answer is yes! There will be jobs for polar bears (they are all left handed). I don't know what yet, but give me a few more weeks of doing guard duty and I will think of something wicked awesome that polar bears can do.
Aside from the language the most difficult part of the army is using any piece of equipment because the army was designed for right handed people. When I got my M16 I asked for a left handed gun and they gave me one. What's the IDF's definition of a left handed gun? It's a right handed gun with an extra piece of metal sticking out of the side behind where the shell casings get rejected to make sure they dont hit me in the face. For righties their face is on the other side of the gun so they don't have this problem. I said to them 'what about everything else that is backwards this is just a right handed gun!' Their response was the IDF has no money and only in the USA do they have left handed guns. That excuse is the trump card and works in every situation, so I didn't have anything left to say because they were right. Not only are all the weapons backwards but also all the desks and most importantly can openers. In every battle ration we get a can opener and I can't use it because its made for righties. I have ot rely on other people to open the food so I can eat.
So what makes me think that a left handed army can take over the world? Lets take racket sports for example. Righties have a lot of trouble playing against lefties because lefties are uncommon and therefore righties don't have much time to practice against them. Righties are often baffled by the 'backwardsness' of how lefties play. On the other hand lefties understand how righties play and can also play against fellow lefties - thus advantage to the lefties. If I could redesign all the weapons and can openers for lefties and introduce some left handed strategies nobody would be prepared for us!
I'm starting my recruitment now, so if you would like to join me send me an email or a facebook message or something. What are the requirements? You have to be left handed - thats it. Sorry to the majority of the human race, but soon enough you will be under my control and there is nothing you can do about it. I know what your all thinking now and the answer is yes! There will be jobs for polar bears (they are all left handed). I don't know what yet, but give me a few more weeks of doing guard duty and I will think of something wicked awesome that polar bears can do.
Aside from the language the most difficult part of the army is using any piece of equipment because the army was designed for right handed people. When I got my M16 I asked for a left handed gun and they gave me one. What's the IDF's definition of a left handed gun? It's a right handed gun with an extra piece of metal sticking out of the side behind where the shell casings get rejected to make sure they dont hit me in the face. For righties their face is on the other side of the gun so they don't have this problem. I said to them 'what about everything else that is backwards this is just a right handed gun!' Their response was the IDF has no money and only in the USA do they have left handed guns. That excuse is the trump card and works in every situation, so I didn't have anything left to say because they were right. Not only are all the weapons backwards but also all the desks and most importantly can openers. In every battle ration we get a can opener and I can't use it because its made for righties. I have ot rely on other people to open the food so I can eat.
So what makes me think that a left handed army can take over the world? Lets take racket sports for example. Righties have a lot of trouble playing against lefties because lefties are uncommon and therefore righties don't have much time to practice against them. Righties are often baffled by the 'backwardsness' of how lefties play. On the other hand lefties understand how righties play and can also play against fellow lefties - thus advantage to the lefties. If I could redesign all the weapons and can openers for lefties and introduce some left handed strategies nobody would be prepared for us!
Sick in the field
So like all weeks, this week it was back to the field. Surprisingly to everyone but me I managed to learn the commands quite quickly. I never have problems memorizing things and it doesn't make a difference what it is or if I understand it. I even managed to learn it better and faster than most of the machlakah, which was a bit surprising to me. My samach (samal of the machlakah) was actually shocked to the point where he asked me how I managed to learn it so quickly. I even got to be the commander of the exercize, so I was the one giving the commands, which definately made it a lot more fun. I got to lead by giving the commands while the other 3 people pretty much only had to repeat after me.
I ended up getting sick in the field which is definately not fun at all. I had a fever one evening and when I woke up I felt like crap. They let me rest in the tent because I was freezing cold. At about 1030 when the sun was beating down on the tent I was inside with long underwear a long sleeve undershirt, my full uniform including my boots, a jacket, gloves a toque and a sleeping bag and I was still cold. They had decided that I had done enough sleeping (even though they woke me up numerous times throughout my napping) and told me to sit in the shade on a bench for the classes they were giving. They then told everyone else not to sit on the bench next to me. That was pretty much the best news they could have given me because that meant that they were most likely going to send me back to base, which they did a few hours later. This happened on Tuesday, and I only managed to feel better towards the end of Thursay - just in time to get ready to go home!
So how did I spend my New Years Eve? 6PM dinner. 7PM free time - called a few friends and got ready for bed. 8PM bedtime. 245AM I wake up and start getting ready to get off base. 4PM bus leaves base for Tel Aviv! The best part is that my parents came to Israel to visit me for 2 weeks. So I finally got to see them for the first time since I got to Israel 7.5 months ago. Next week I get a week off the army to be with my parents which is awesome!
I go back to base on Sunday for a couple of day of survival week before I get my holiday on Tuesday. Thursday I have my swearing in ceremony (call me for details if your in the area!!!) at Latrun and then I don't have to return to base until the following Tuesday!!!!
I ended up getting sick in the field which is definately not fun at all. I had a fever one evening and when I woke up I felt like crap. They let me rest in the tent because I was freezing cold. At about 1030 when the sun was beating down on the tent I was inside with long underwear a long sleeve undershirt, my full uniform including my boots, a jacket, gloves a toque and a sleeping bag and I was still cold. They had decided that I had done enough sleeping (even though they woke me up numerous times throughout my napping) and told me to sit in the shade on a bench for the classes they were giving. They then told everyone else not to sit on the bench next to me. That was pretty much the best news they could have given me because that meant that they were most likely going to send me back to base, which they did a few hours later. This happened on Tuesday, and I only managed to feel better towards the end of Thursay - just in time to get ready to go home!
So how did I spend my New Years Eve? 6PM dinner. 7PM free time - called a few friends and got ready for bed. 8PM bedtime. 245AM I wake up and start getting ready to get off base. 4PM bus leaves base for Tel Aviv! The best part is that my parents came to Israel to visit me for 2 weeks. So I finally got to see them for the first time since I got to Israel 7.5 months ago. Next week I get a week off the army to be with my parents which is awesome!
I go back to base on Sunday for a couple of day of survival week before I get my holiday on Tuesday. Thursday I have my swearing in ceremony (call me for details if your in the area!!!) at Latrun and then I don't have to return to base until the following Tuesday!!!!
Tironut week 4: the MAG!
Sunday we took a day trip to Jerusalem. We went to Har Hertzl again. We were given pretty much the exact same tour so it was a bit boring considering I was just there a month ago, but it was more meaningful to be there now as a kravi soldier. Afterwards we went to the Kotel and a also had a scavenger hunt in the Old City, which was a lot of fun. Not so surprisingly I bumped into a friend of mine in the Old City who is visiting from the states. As we were standing in 2 lines waiting to walk to the next part of the tour I saw him walking down the stairs and said in a rush to my mefaked 'Mefaked, I know him! Can I go over there?' I was pissed off because he gave me literally 60 seconds to speak to my friends who I hadn't seen since the summer. A lot of my friends are in Israel for the December break and conveniently I'm stuck on base and can't visity any of them.
Monday it was back to the field to finish our last week at the shooting range. We had some pretty exciting and difficult exercizes - shooting with gas masks, running with the gas mask and then shooting while out of breath. We also started practicing walking while shooting; up until now all the shooting we have done has been in static positions. We started practicing for our exercize next week which involves 4 soldiers all moving through the field at once, giving commands and shooting while running and in static positions. We started practicing dry runs (without ammunition) and I can already tell that next week is going to be a lot of fun. However, I do have homework this weekend because I need to learn the commands. A lot of them involve Hebrew words I've never heard before so its pretty much like memorizing jibberish. Slowly but surely I'm learning the commands, but its still frustrating that I can do it, but I actually have to sit down and learn it.
We had another masa where we hiked back to the middle of nowhere (AKA the base). Surprisingly the field was a lot closer to base than I expected - every time we took the bus there I managed to pass out instantaneoulsy and it felt like I had a solid nap even though it was only a 10 minute drive. The hike was 6km in about 45 minutes and I had a lot of fun - it was an okay workout for me but still not difficult. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in my machlakah who is pumped up and excited to go on the masaot. Most of the people think I'm absolutely nuts (again, this is nothing new). I'm still upset that I'm not going to get a chance to do masaot like in infantry which are upwards of 50km. In shiryon our longest masa is only (yes, I did say only) 30km. Most of my machlaka was not only unexcited about the 6km masa, but petrified of it. After the masa we received the shiryon pin to put on our beret.
On Friday we spent the day cleaning and doing pushups because we were not running all the dime during our weekly misdar mefaked, where we have to clean all our equipment and our rooms. It's a lot easier mentally to do the cleaning when I know I'm going home the next day. But everyone was not energized because we were only halfway through our 2 weeks on base.
The best part of this week was definately the 20 or so bullets I fired with the machine gun (MAG). It was awesome - there was a lot of kickback with the gun pounding against your shoulder as you hold down the trigger. What a rush! In 2 weeks we finish with the basic training and start learning our job in the tank. I had to rank the 3 jobs based on which one I prefer. I'm not guaranteed to get the job I want but they say they take it into consideration. I ranked the jobs 1 - loader, 2 - gunner, 3 - driver. I want to be the loader because asside from the commander he has the most responsibility in the tank and is second in command. He is in charge of loading (duh) all the shells into the turret, communications and he has the use of a MAG out side the tank, so like the commander he can stick his head out of the tank. I also feel as though the driver has the coolest job if I could do it for about a week, but afterwards I would get bored.
Monday it was back to the field to finish our last week at the shooting range. We had some pretty exciting and difficult exercizes - shooting with gas masks, running with the gas mask and then shooting while out of breath. We also started practicing walking while shooting; up until now all the shooting we have done has been in static positions. We started practicing for our exercize next week which involves 4 soldiers all moving through the field at once, giving commands and shooting while running and in static positions. We started practicing dry runs (without ammunition) and I can already tell that next week is going to be a lot of fun. However, I do have homework this weekend because I need to learn the commands. A lot of them involve Hebrew words I've never heard before so its pretty much like memorizing jibberish. Slowly but surely I'm learning the commands, but its still frustrating that I can do it, but I actually have to sit down and learn it.
We had another masa where we hiked back to the middle of nowhere (AKA the base). Surprisingly the field was a lot closer to base than I expected - every time we took the bus there I managed to pass out instantaneoulsy and it felt like I had a solid nap even though it was only a 10 minute drive. The hike was 6km in about 45 minutes and I had a lot of fun - it was an okay workout for me but still not difficult. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in my machlakah who is pumped up and excited to go on the masaot. Most of the people think I'm absolutely nuts (again, this is nothing new). I'm still upset that I'm not going to get a chance to do masaot like in infantry which are upwards of 50km. In shiryon our longest masa is only (yes, I did say only) 30km. Most of my machlaka was not only unexcited about the 6km masa, but petrified of it. After the masa we received the shiryon pin to put on our beret.
On Friday we spent the day cleaning and doing pushups because we were not running all the dime during our weekly misdar mefaked, where we have to clean all our equipment and our rooms. It's a lot easier mentally to do the cleaning when I know I'm going home the next day. But everyone was not energized because we were only halfway through our 2 weeks on base.
The best part of this week was definately the 20 or so bullets I fired with the machine gun (MAG). It was awesome - there was a lot of kickback with the gun pounding against your shoulder as you hold down the trigger. What a rush! In 2 weeks we finish with the basic training and start learning our job in the tank. I had to rank the 3 jobs based on which one I prefer. I'm not guaranteed to get the job I want but they say they take it into consideration. I ranked the jobs 1 - loader, 2 - gunner, 3 - driver. I want to be the loader because asside from the commander he has the most responsibility in the tank and is second in command. He is in charge of loading (duh) all the shells into the turret, communications and he has the use of a MAG out side the tank, so like the commander he can stick his head out of the tank. I also feel as though the driver has the coolest job if I could do it for about a week, but afterwards I would get bored.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Very random weekend
After a long night of partying I actually decided to do something besides sit around and waste time on the internet. I haven't really ventured around the neighbourhood and I figured since someone came to visit me we should actually do something. I'm usually too tired and lazy to do anything. So just like that we decided to go for a hike up the Gilboa mountain. It had rained the day before so it was a bit muddy, but that still didn't stop us. There was nobody around and as we started walking through the farms to get to the base of the mountain there were 2 cars that passed us. Jon and I were both wearing AEPi t-shirts and the guy in the second car rolls down his window and yells AEPi!!! He was in AEPi in Vegas and a very hilarious and random encounter. At what point do these random encounters stop being random? It seems that every corner I turn I expect to bump into someone I have some sort of connection with. The hike was pretty awesome and long - 3 hours in total, but the view was definitely worth it!
My backyard! Thats my kibbutz to the left of my head.
Before we went on the hike I got a call from a friend, Dan who is in Israel on Birthright, but I was surprised to hear that it was a different friend on the phone, Cliel (an avid reader of Kaldors Korner I might add) who I didn't know was also here. So just like that I decided to go back to Jerusalem with Jon to meet up with them at night at Ben Yehuda Street. Whenever I go to Ben Yehuda Street or the Old City I am always on the lookout for people I know. There is rarely a time I go to those places and don't bump into someone I know. In fact, I get disappointed if I don't bump into someone I didn't expect to see. So not so surprisingly, I bumped into someone else that was on the birthright trip that I knew.
So that was my weekend of very random encounters. I'm sure I will bump into people again tomorrow when I tour Jerusalem.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Camping with the army
Sunday it was back into the field for 4 more days and 3 nights of more shooting. This was week 2 of 3 of shooting and we practiced the 3 shooting position - standing, kneeling and lying down. We also practices gun jams and changing magazines. We shoot from 25 and 50 meters during the day and do the eact same exercizes at night from the maximum distance we can see the target (appx. 15 meters). My shot is pretty good and I have been hitting the target most of the time. It takes time to get used to holding the very uncomfortable positions for a long time.
By the third day of Chanukah and being back in the field with shitty food I was really craving a sufganiyah (jelly donuts you eat on Chanukah). During Chanukah the army gives out sufganiyot but I didn't think that they were going to give it to us out in the field, but I was really fiending one. In the middle of the afternoon I suddenly saw an oasis in the desret - no it wasn't water, but the Chabadmobile with sufganiyot blasting hassidic music! We got a break from the day (we don't get breaks. EVER. PERIOD!) to eat sing and dance to Chanukah tunes. Kol hacavod כל הכבוד to Chabad for finding us in the middle of nowhere! It definately cheered up our day! The next day we got our sufganiyah from the army and the one from Chabbad were much better! We lit the Chanukah candles every night, and it was really cool to be lighting them in the field when it was pitch black with nothing around - only sand and stars.
We had another masa - this one 4km in 45 minutes and it was much easier than the one before because I wasn't carrying the 10L jerrycan of water on my back. After each masa we get add-ons to our uniform or our equipment - the first masa we got our gun, and now we got our tag to wear on our shoulders that signify what unit we are in. During the course at Mikve Alon I had the Education Corps tag and for the past 3 weeks I took a step backwards and was without a tag but now I have one signifying I'm in kravi so that is pretty awesome.
So whats it like going 'camping' with the army? Well its nothing like going camping for a weeknd with your buddies to sit by the lake drink beers and have a BBQ. You can't take your cellphone with you and ther eare obviously no showers so that means we really don't need an hour of free time every day. In the field we get half an hour - enough time to make your sleeping bag ready, brush your teeth and take a piss - aside from that there really isn't anything else to do when you can't even see anything. As usual, we get our 6 hours of non consecutive sleep (we have to do half an hour of guard duty throught the night). Our 18 hour days really do feel that long. Even meal time is no break - there are 20 vultures trying to eat from the same few cans of food and couple of loafs of bread. If we are lucky we will get half an hour to eat. There is always something to do and are never given any breaks. Fix this, clean that, move thos rocks, why are those kitbags and vests always out of order!?!?! During the day it gets quite hot, but at night it is FREEZING! We are totally out in the open so there are no building to block the wind, or fires to keep us warm. We sleep in 2 person tents and we make it fit 3 people for warmth.
We gave in our sleeping bags for real cleaning which was a real shame on the waste of water used to clean them. They were clean for about the 1.5 seconds while someone threw it from the truck and before it hit the sand. It would have been ideal for them to give us new ones when we returned to base, so we could use them but then again what the hell do I know? I'm only older than everyone and have a university degree, but I'm still the scum of the earth on the base because I'm just in basic training. The next day when we got back to base we got new sleeping bags again - again, a real shame on the water. Additionally, changing clothing is a complete waste of:
Until now, most of the time we have been carrying around our gun, it has prety much been a hunk of metal in the shape of a gun. It really isn't a gun yet if your not given any ammo. On Wednesday we were given a strap in which to secure a magazine to the side of the gun. So now we have the responsibility to carry around a gun and ammo all the time, not just a hunk of metal.
In 2 weeks my parent are coming to visit me, which is very exciting. I haven't seen them since I left for Israel 7 months ago. They are coming for my swearing into the army ceremony. I already had this ceremony as part of the ulpan course at Mikve Alon, but it's a much bigger deal and bigger event for combat soldiers. If your in the area (and by area I mean country) you should come and show your support for the shiryonairim of November 2009 who will be keeping Israe lsafe. It's also a great chance for you to see me and meet my parents. The ceremony is Thursday January 7th in Latrun. Call me for more details.
It has been a long 12 days on base, but finally I get my 2 day weekend before I spend another 12 days on base (most of it in the field again). We have a day trip to Jerusalem, one week at the shooting range and then the second week we start doing exercise in the open field - not at the range.
Once again, if you haven't already become a fan of my blog on facebook, here is the link http://facebook.com/kaldorskorner
By the third day of Chanukah and being back in the field with shitty food I was really craving a sufganiyah (jelly donuts you eat on Chanukah). During Chanukah the army gives out sufganiyot but I didn't think that they were going to give it to us out in the field, but I was really fiending one. In the middle of the afternoon I suddenly saw an oasis in the desret - no it wasn't water, but the Chabadmobile with sufganiyot blasting hassidic music! We got a break from the day (we don't get breaks. EVER. PERIOD!) to eat sing and dance to Chanukah tunes. Kol hacavod כל הכבוד to Chabad for finding us in the middle of nowhere! It definately cheered up our day! The next day we got our sufganiyah from the army and the one from Chabbad were much better! We lit the Chanukah candles every night, and it was really cool to be lighting them in the field when it was pitch black with nothing around - only sand and stars.
We had another masa - this one 4km in 45 minutes and it was much easier than the one before because I wasn't carrying the 10L jerrycan of water on my back. After each masa we get add-ons to our uniform or our equipment - the first masa we got our gun, and now we got our tag to wear on our shoulders that signify what unit we are in. During the course at Mikve Alon I had the Education Corps tag and for the past 3 weeks I took a step backwards and was without a tag but now I have one signifying I'm in kravi so that is pretty awesome.
So whats it like going 'camping' with the army? Well its nothing like going camping for a weeknd with your buddies to sit by the lake drink beers and have a BBQ. You can't take your cellphone with you and ther eare obviously no showers so that means we really don't need an hour of free time every day. In the field we get half an hour - enough time to make your sleeping bag ready, brush your teeth and take a piss - aside from that there really isn't anything else to do when you can't even see anything. As usual, we get our 6 hours of non consecutive sleep (we have to do half an hour of guard duty throught the night). Our 18 hour days really do feel that long. Even meal time is no break - there are 20 vultures trying to eat from the same few cans of food and couple of loafs of bread. If we are lucky we will get half an hour to eat. There is always something to do and are never given any breaks. Fix this, clean that, move thos rocks, why are those kitbags and vests always out of order!?!?! During the day it gets quite hot, but at night it is FREEZING! We are totally out in the open so there are no building to block the wind, or fires to keep us warm. We sleep in 2 person tents and we make it fit 3 people for warmth.
We gave in our sleeping bags for real cleaning which was a real shame on the waste of water used to clean them. They were clean for about the 1.5 seconds while someone threw it from the truck and before it hit the sand. It would have been ideal for them to give us new ones when we returned to base, so we could use them but then again what the hell do I know? I'm only older than everyone and have a university degree, but I'm still the scum of the earth on the base because I'm just in basic training. The next day when we got back to base we got new sleeping bags again - again, a real shame on the water. Additionally, changing clothing is a complete waste of:
- time - spent looking for your clothing (especially in the dark) and changing while attempting to not drop your clothing into the sand.
- space - I can barely fit the things in my kitbag that I need, yet alone any extra clothing.
- water - used to clean the clothes ( there is a really bad water shortage in Israel, so its even more important to conserve)
Until now, most of the time we have been carrying around our gun, it has prety much been a hunk of metal in the shape of a gun. It really isn't a gun yet if your not given any ammo. On Wednesday we were given a strap in which to secure a magazine to the side of the gun. So now we have the responsibility to carry around a gun and ammo all the time, not just a hunk of metal.
In 2 weeks my parent are coming to visit me, which is very exciting. I haven't seen them since I left for Israel 7 months ago. They are coming for my swearing into the army ceremony. I already had this ceremony as part of the ulpan course at Mikve Alon, but it's a much bigger deal and bigger event for combat soldiers. If your in the area (and by area I mean country) you should come and show your support for the shiryonairim of November 2009 who will be keeping Israe lsafe. It's also a great chance for you to see me and meet my parents. The ceremony is Thursday January 7th in Latrun. Call me for more details.
It has been a long 12 days on base, but finally I get my 2 day weekend before I spend another 12 days on base (most of it in the field again). We have a day trip to Jerusalem, one week at the shooting range and then the second week we start doing exercise in the open field - not at the range.
Once again, if you haven't already become a fan of my blog on facebook, here is the link http://facebook.com/kaldorskorner
First week of kravi basic training
Getting back to base was a pain in the ass. I had to run to the bank and therefore didn't have time to meet at the regular meeting place. I took 3 busses and 6 hours of travel to get to base. I stayed up too late Saturday taloking to friends back home (7 hrs behind) so I was exhaused all day (I'm constantly exhausted so not that this is any different). Since all the buses are always jam packed on Sunday mornings with all the soldiers returning to base, I couldn't get a seat on the last 2 legs of the trip so I was stuck in the aisle. The good thing is that it is socially acceptable for soldiers to lie down and sleep in the aisles of buses - in fact it was more comfortable because I could fully stretch out and use my backpack as a pillow.
Monday I made a new best friend - my gun. I take care of it, clean it, sleep with it under my mattress and take it everywhere with me (I don't get to take it off base just yet). Siryonairim (people in shiryon) get the M16 with the shortest barrel length so that there is room for it in the tank. It's much less awkward than the long M16 we got at Mikve Alon.
On Tuesday we went into the field for 3 days. The first day was spent mostly loading up the truck with everything we needed and setting up the campsite. We also spent a lot of time gathering rocks to make paths. It was really hot during the days and freezing cold at night. We had our first masa (hike) - it was a piece of cake and more like a 3km night medium paced walk through the desert. There were some people that were really struggling, but even with a 10L jerrycan of water on my back I wanted to go farther and faster. Afterwards there was a ceremony which officially starts our journey to becoming לוחמים (fighters). The rest of our time in the field was spent at the shooting range and eating shitty food. I blogged earlier about the shitty battle rations and the loof, but now we got better food. All the food is fresh - fresh right out of a can. We get canned tuna, pickles, corn disgusting rice something or other wrapped in vine leaves and drowned in oil, pineapples, chocolate spread, jam, ketchup, halva and bread. It's still shitty food, but the corn and pineapples are a big improvement on loof especially when we eat the stuff for every meal. It's no longer breakfast time/lunch time/ dinner time - its meal time. I was never much of a tuna fan to begin with, and its especially not tasty drenched in oil right of out the can. I was looking for ways to improve my sandwiches - with the limited combination available I have concluded that tuna, corn and chocolate sandwiches work best. Yes- everyone else was also wondering what the hel is wrong with me. Chocolate and pineapple sandwiches are amazing, but I found out that tuna and pineapple was an experiment gone terribly wrong.
I have also concluded that sandwiches were invented in the desert. If you put tuna on a piece of bread, you have a tuna sandwich, right? In this case you are subconsciously neglecting all the sand your eating. It's much easier to say your eating a tuna sandwhich than eating a tuna sand wich. Also the word wich could be confused for a question, as in tuna sand which? To make things clear, they are called sandwiches (or in hebrew sandviches). Additionally, if the sandwich was invented in a rainy area it would probably be called mudwiches. If your thinking I'm more crazy now after drawing this conclusion in my defense I'm writing this on shabbat on base where there is nothing to do. I'm not saying that I'm not crazy, but please take this into account. Basically the main point I'm trying tom ake is that there is sand EVERYWHERE!
We have a very back asswards way of 'cleaning' things. After coming back from the field late on Thursday night and were ready for bed. Instead of going to bed, we got the standard 7 minutes to change into our uniforms for what became a לילה לבן (white night - staying up all night) of cleaning our equipment, and pushups. So to clean our equipment we are given x minutes to clean a specific item and run to put it in our rooms. So here is where the back asswardness comes into play. We were given 4 minutes to clean our shovel and tent pegs and put them in our room (It takes 1.5-2 minutes to run to the room and back). The specific way of cleaning these items are with oil, which I think is a bit excessive and unnecessary when you take into account how we 'clean' our jacket, vest, backpack and kitbag. We were given 4 minutes to clean our kitbag with no specif orders on how to do it. I had enough time to smack it against the dirty wall and ground creating more dust and dirt before I realized I had to sprint to put it in my room. We spent 6 hours cleaning the equipment, rooms, running and pushups. We got breakfast and were sent to bed at 530AM. We woke up 6 hours later (because thats all the sleep we need, according to the army) and did our physical test (pushups, situps and a 2km run). After eating crappy food for 3 days and staying up all night doing a physical test was not what I wanted to do after only 6 hours of sleep at 1230 in the afternoon in the desert.
After a long hard week we lit the CHanukah candles for the first night of the holiday and went into Shabbat. This means that I have time to talk on my phone, listen to music, sleep and blog. There really isn't much else to do but its a great break from the week. the food on Shabbat is better than the regular days and much better than the battle rations. The best part of Shabbat is that they are not allowed to give us orders!
Monday I made a new best friend - my gun. I take care of it, clean it, sleep with it under my mattress and take it everywhere with me (I don't get to take it off base just yet). Siryonairim (people in shiryon) get the M16 with the shortest barrel length so that there is room for it in the tank. It's much less awkward than the long M16 we got at Mikve Alon.
On Tuesday we went into the field for 3 days. The first day was spent mostly loading up the truck with everything we needed and setting up the campsite. We also spent a lot of time gathering rocks to make paths. It was really hot during the days and freezing cold at night. We had our first masa (hike) - it was a piece of cake and more like a 3km night medium paced walk through the desert. There were some people that were really struggling, but even with a 10L jerrycan of water on my back I wanted to go farther and faster. Afterwards there was a ceremony which officially starts our journey to becoming לוחמים (fighters). The rest of our time in the field was spent at the shooting range and eating shitty food. I blogged earlier about the shitty battle rations and the loof, but now we got better food. All the food is fresh - fresh right out of a can. We get canned tuna, pickles, corn disgusting rice something or other wrapped in vine leaves and drowned in oil, pineapples, chocolate spread, jam, ketchup, halva and bread. It's still shitty food, but the corn and pineapples are a big improvement on loof especially when we eat the stuff for every meal. It's no longer breakfast time/lunch time/ dinner time - its meal time. I was never much of a tuna fan to begin with, and its especially not tasty drenched in oil right of out the can. I was looking for ways to improve my sandwiches - with the limited combination available I have concluded that tuna, corn and chocolate sandwiches work best. Yes- everyone else was also wondering what the hel is wrong with me. Chocolate and pineapple sandwiches are amazing, but I found out that tuna and pineapple was an experiment gone terribly wrong.
I have also concluded that sandwiches were invented in the desert. If you put tuna on a piece of bread, you have a tuna sandwich, right? In this case you are subconsciously neglecting all the sand your eating. It's much easier to say your eating a tuna sandwhich than eating a tuna sand wich. Also the word wich could be confused for a question, as in tuna sand which? To make things clear, they are called sandwiches (or in hebrew sandviches). Additionally, if the sandwich was invented in a rainy area it would probably be called mudwiches. If your thinking I'm more crazy now after drawing this conclusion in my defense I'm writing this on shabbat on base where there is nothing to do. I'm not saying that I'm not crazy, but please take this into account. Basically the main point I'm trying tom ake is that there is sand EVERYWHERE!
We have a very back asswards way of 'cleaning' things. After coming back from the field late on Thursday night and were ready for bed. Instead of going to bed, we got the standard 7 minutes to change into our uniforms for what became a לילה לבן (white night - staying up all night) of cleaning our equipment, and pushups. So to clean our equipment we are given x minutes to clean a specific item and run to put it in our rooms. So here is where the back asswardness comes into play. We were given 4 minutes to clean our shovel and tent pegs and put them in our room (It takes 1.5-2 minutes to run to the room and back). The specific way of cleaning these items are with oil, which I think is a bit excessive and unnecessary when you take into account how we 'clean' our jacket, vest, backpack and kitbag. We were given 4 minutes to clean our kitbag with no specif orders on how to do it. I had enough time to smack it against the dirty wall and ground creating more dust and dirt before I realized I had to sprint to put it in my room. We spent 6 hours cleaning the equipment, rooms, running and pushups. We got breakfast and were sent to bed at 530AM. We woke up 6 hours later (because thats all the sleep we need, according to the army) and did our physical test (pushups, situps and a 2km run). After eating crappy food for 3 days and staying up all night doing a physical test was not what I wanted to do after only 6 hours of sleep at 1230 in the afternoon in the desert.
After a long hard week we lit the CHanukah candles for the first night of the holiday and went into Shabbat. This means that I have time to talk on my phone, listen to music, sleep and blog. There really isn't much else to do but its a great break from the week. the food on Shabbat is better than the regular days and much better than the battle rations. The best part of Shabbat is that they are not allowed to give us orders!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Welcome to kravi!!!
This week I joined kravi (combat) in shiryon (armored corps) and am now a lochem (fighter) in the IDF!!! Finally after six and a half months in the country I'm starting to do what I came here to do!
Okay, so I'll just answer the most important questions right off the bat, but this doesn't mean you can stop reading!
No I don't have a gun yet - I get it next week - the shortest M16.
No I don't get to take it home next week - only after basic training (3 months)
No I don't have a tank yet. In 3 months after basic training we start learning about the tank, until then its just general infantry training. But I will be in a Merkeva Mark 3 BAZ. There are 4 jobs in the tank (commander, driver, gunner, loader) and after basic training I get told what job in the tank I get.
So on Sunday I went back to bakum to trade in my red boots for black ones. After a week already it hurts to sit, stand, walk, run and even just to have my feet in the boots. My base is about 350 km from where I live and and about 60km from Eilat, which is as far south as you can get. It took me 6 hours to get home, and I think I made excellent timing. The living conditions have improve. I live in a ROOM with 9 people (I'm emphasizing the word room for all my friends in Nahal who now live in tents). Also we get air conditioning. I sleep on the bottom bunk of a bed that doesn't have a metal bar perpendicular to my body across the middle of my back. I have a personal light at my bed and an electrical outlet of my own. Additionally, the food is better.
Other than what seems to be the hotel like living conditions, it has been the past 3 months that now seem like a vacation. They take no bullshit anymore. When standing in formation you can't move an inch - sometimes for up to half an hour. Unexpectedly without knowing a mefaked will whisper very loudly in your ear from behind telling you to stop moving. At mikve alon we had mefakedets (female commanders as opposed to mefakeds which are male commanders) and they tried to act tough but they really weren't fooling anyone - they are too nice to be mean. Now I have a Samach (mefaked machlakah) who I don't think could crack a smile if his life depended on it.
In my machlakah of 29 I'm the only lone soldier and also the only one who doesn't speak fluent Hebrew (not that I'm anywhere near fluent). After a week my brain has been hurting from having to pay attention all the time to what they are saying. It's difficult to learn whats going on in the army and also to learn a language at the same time. It also doesn't help that they speak a mile a minute. Luckily I understand enough words in each sentence to know what going on through the context. I don't know what language they were speaking to me at Mikve Alon, but for arguments sake lets call it Hemilon (HEbrew at MIkve aLON) which seems to be a mix of easy hebrew words, english and slow talking. Everyone is helpful and tries to help me with my hebrew which is good. A few more weeks and I will really get the hang of the language. My mefaked seems to be a pretty chill guy and similar to me - he's also a lone soldier from Brazil and he said when he came he had a hard time with the language as well, so he seems to understand where I'm coming from.
I only get 6 hours of sleep now (compared to getting 7.5 hrs at mikve alon) and that interrupted sleep because on occasion we have to do 20 minutes - half an hour of guard duty during the middle of the night. Also my hour and a half of free time has now been shortened to an hour and in that time I have to shower, brush teeth, shine shoes, and organize the room for bedtime.
I also feel very old. I'm starting the army at 24, and I think I only had one conversation this week with someone older than me - the mefaked of the pluga, and even he might not be much older than I. Everyone has a private meeting with the commanders in order to meet them and introduce yourself. The mefaked pluga was in shock and baffled to find out that I'm just starting the army as a volunteer at 24 and that I already have a degree. At Mikve Alon I didn't really feel it because there were people like me who came to serve at an older age, but there aren't many or any in shiryon that I have encountered yet. My commanders are 21 and everyone in basic training like me is 18. Most people are shocked to find out im 24, but are still very helpful and nice.
Aside from getting adjusted to my new setting, the first week was pretty boring - equipment checks, learning how to do the day to day stuff like making our beds and keeping our rooms clean to their standards, meetings with the commanders, and other general 'welcome to the army' knowledge. They did however put on an awesome demo for us where a tank drove around and blew shit up - in 8 months I will be able to do the same!
So here is a bit of information on what I learned about the part of the army I have joined. I am in the 188th armored brigade, which is called barak (lightning). My brigade is part of the Northern Command, so after I finish with my training I will be stationed back up north with what I consider to be a more beautiful part of the country. I've barely even started yet, and I'm already sick of the sand! There is a lot of history within my brigade, as it has been involved in almost all the wars. During the Yom Kippur War in 1973, the brigade was nearly wiped out while defending the Golan Heights against the Syrians. In Operation Cast Lead almost one year ago the brigade was the first one to enter Gaza and the last one to leave. Two famous people that served in my brigade is Zvika Greengold who was awarded the medal of honor for his efforts in the Yom Kippur War, and also Gilad Shalit, who is still being held captive by Hamas who was captured in July of 2006.
Next week we get our guns, go out into the field to start training and I'm on base for Shabbat, so I'm there for the next 12 days. We have our basic training schedule, and between now and the end of February I only get off base for 6 Shabbats (thats assuming I don't screw up and am forced to stay as a punishment for one of them). Yea, my thoughts exactly - that sucks!!! So my next update will be in 2 weeks time and I'm sure I will have a lot to talk about.
חג שמח and happy Chanukah to everyone!
Okay, so I'll just answer the most important questions right off the bat, but this doesn't mean you can stop reading!
No I don't have a gun yet - I get it next week - the shortest M16.
No I don't get to take it home next week - only after basic training (3 months)
No I don't have a tank yet. In 3 months after basic training we start learning about the tank, until then its just general infantry training. But I will be in a Merkeva Mark 3 BAZ. There are 4 jobs in the tank (commander, driver, gunner, loader) and after basic training I get told what job in the tank I get.
So on Sunday I went back to bakum to trade in my red boots for black ones. After a week already it hurts to sit, stand, walk, run and even just to have my feet in the boots. My base is about 350 km from where I live and and about 60km from Eilat, which is as far south as you can get. It took me 6 hours to get home, and I think I made excellent timing. The living conditions have improve. I live in a ROOM with 9 people (I'm emphasizing the word room for all my friends in Nahal who now live in tents). Also we get air conditioning. I sleep on the bottom bunk of a bed that doesn't have a metal bar perpendicular to my body across the middle of my back. I have a personal light at my bed and an electrical outlet of my own. Additionally, the food is better.
Other than what seems to be the hotel like living conditions, it has been the past 3 months that now seem like a vacation. They take no bullshit anymore. When standing in formation you can't move an inch - sometimes for up to half an hour. Unexpectedly without knowing a mefaked will whisper very loudly in your ear from behind telling you to stop moving. At mikve alon we had mefakedets (female commanders as opposed to mefakeds which are male commanders) and they tried to act tough but they really weren't fooling anyone - they are too nice to be mean. Now I have a Samach (mefaked machlakah) who I don't think could crack a smile if his life depended on it.
In my machlakah of 29 I'm the only lone soldier and also the only one who doesn't speak fluent Hebrew (not that I'm anywhere near fluent). After a week my brain has been hurting from having to pay attention all the time to what they are saying. It's difficult to learn whats going on in the army and also to learn a language at the same time. It also doesn't help that they speak a mile a minute. Luckily I understand enough words in each sentence to know what going on through the context. I don't know what language they were speaking to me at Mikve Alon, but for arguments sake lets call it Hemilon (HEbrew at MIkve aLON) which seems to be a mix of easy hebrew words, english and slow talking. Everyone is helpful and tries to help me with my hebrew which is good. A few more weeks and I will really get the hang of the language. My mefaked seems to be a pretty chill guy and similar to me - he's also a lone soldier from Brazil and he said when he came he had a hard time with the language as well, so he seems to understand where I'm coming from.
I only get 6 hours of sleep now (compared to getting 7.5 hrs at mikve alon) and that interrupted sleep because on occasion we have to do 20 minutes - half an hour of guard duty during the middle of the night. Also my hour and a half of free time has now been shortened to an hour and in that time I have to shower, brush teeth, shine shoes, and organize the room for bedtime.
I also feel very old. I'm starting the army at 24, and I think I only had one conversation this week with someone older than me - the mefaked of the pluga, and even he might not be much older than I. Everyone has a private meeting with the commanders in order to meet them and introduce yourself. The mefaked pluga was in shock and baffled to find out that I'm just starting the army as a volunteer at 24 and that I already have a degree. At Mikve Alon I didn't really feel it because there were people like me who came to serve at an older age, but there aren't many or any in shiryon that I have encountered yet. My commanders are 21 and everyone in basic training like me is 18. Most people are shocked to find out im 24, but are still very helpful and nice.
Aside from getting adjusted to my new setting, the first week was pretty boring - equipment checks, learning how to do the day to day stuff like making our beds and keeping our rooms clean to their standards, meetings with the commanders, and other general 'welcome to the army' knowledge. They did however put on an awesome demo for us where a tank drove around and blew shit up - in 8 months I will be able to do the same!
So here is a bit of information on what I learned about the part of the army I have joined. I am in the 188th armored brigade, which is called barak (lightning). My brigade is part of the Northern Command, so after I finish with my training I will be stationed back up north with what I consider to be a more beautiful part of the country. I've barely even started yet, and I'm already sick of the sand! There is a lot of history within my brigade, as it has been involved in almost all the wars. During the Yom Kippur War in 1973, the brigade was nearly wiped out while defending the Golan Heights against the Syrians. In Operation Cast Lead almost one year ago the brigade was the first one to enter Gaza and the last one to leave. Two famous people that served in my brigade is Zvika Greengold who was awarded the medal of honor for his efforts in the Yom Kippur War, and also Gilad Shalit, who is still being held captive by Hamas who was captured in July of 2006.
Next week we get our guns, go out into the field to start training and I'm on base for Shabbat, so I'm there for the next 12 days. We have our basic training schedule, and between now and the end of February I only get off base for 6 Shabbats (thats assuming I don't screw up and am forced to stay as a punishment for one of them). Yea, my thoughts exactly - that sucks!!! So my next update will be in 2 weeks time and I'm sure I will have a lot to talk about.
חג שמח and happy Chanukah to everyone!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
End of Mikve Alon and Bakum
Our course ended on Tuesday and from Sunday-Tuesday we practiced for the ceremony. It was like being a part of a marching band - minus the band part - just marching. Left left left right left. It really sucks the life out of the fun of a ceremony when you have to practice marching and standing for probably a dozen hours. The entire time we had this big fat angry guy called the Rasar yelling at us when we would move an inch. The big finale of the ceremony was that we all marched into a formation of a menorah - every time we practiced it we would screw it up because someone new would join into the formation or someone would leave and it would screw everyone up.
As for the competition we won last week, the privilege we won was 20 minutes of crappy internet from the computer room on base - just about enough time to change my fbook status and message a few people. Tuesday morning we finally got to break distance with our commanders. For about the 4 hours between breaking distance and getting on the bus to go to bakum we had a lot of fun being able to joke around and talk normally to our commanders. The only crappy thing was that right after the ceremony we had a few minutes to say goodbye to our commanders and then we had to get on the bus to take us to bakum. The ceremony was surprisingly more fun that I expected it to be considering all the mind numbing marching we had practiced. As part of the ceremony the mefakedets took away our education corps tags, so now I'm back to square one looking like a nobody, which really really sucks.
So we get to bakum just in time for dinner. We then got our beds ready in our 10 person tents and got to go to bed. Bakum is the base where everyone goes on their first day to enlist and get all your equipment and most importantly find out exactly what unit you go to (you don't actually find out 100% until you get to bakum). Working at bakum is the army equivalent of working at the lost luggage department at the airport. They have no idea what is going on, everyone hates them, and they can never help you or do anything correctly. So here is a rundown of my very frustrating yet hilarious day at bakum.
The goal: have someone tell me that I am going to shiryon (armored corps [tanks]) and that I can go home and come back on Sunday when everyone else from shiryon is enlisting. Timeframe: leave the base at a reasonable hour while it is still light outside (before 5PM).
The story...
445AM wakeup. Get the tents in order, pick up garbage and clean the territory and eat breakfast. After that we grabbed our bags, they gave us numbers and we waited for them to call each group of numbers to go through the enlistment process.
930AM they start calling numbers. They grouped me with all the mahal nahal people (the volunteers that are going to the nahal infantry unit) which was what I was supposed to do if my medical profile would allow it. Our number is the last to be called. We keep waiting while everyone else has already left to other places to get equipment and do all sorts of other things. They bring us buckets soap and squeegees. Bathrooms. At this point it was clear they didn't know what the hell to do with us, and this was not what we had volunteered for. After finishing the bathrooms we came back and started throwing around a football for a good half an hour. The following pretty much sums up an hour of the day: someone asked the commander 'what do you mean you don't know what to do with us - have you never seen a volunteer before?' to which he answered 'nope'.
11AM they finally call everyone except for 4 people, including me. They told me I was going to see a doctor. Okay, maybe I can try and get my profile raised again. On the way to the doctor we stopped off by the katzin miyun where I got my name called. The katzin miyun is an enlistment officer; you get to speak to him and tell him where you want to serve in the army. They try and take that into consideration when placing you. Due to the nature of the mahal program we don't get to see a katzin miyun because by default we all go to nahal. Some guy came out with an envelope and started to explain to me what unit I am enlisting to and that I had to be back here at this date and this time. In the middle of his explanation I looked at the piece of paper and noticed that the unit was not shiryon but carakal. So in the middle of his first sentence I interrupted him and told him that I'm going to shiryon and that he has to go back and change it because I'm not speaking to him at all if he's holding a piece of paper that says my name and carakal on it. He immediately walks away and then I am taken to see a doctor and I don't encounter that fool again.
1230 I get to see a doctor. I tell him I want to raise my profile. He looks at the computer and says 'I see you've already gone through this conversation with a different doctor'. In short, I'm still shit out of luck. Now on to lunch - for such a horrible base, they seem to have the most amazing food. There were 4 different servings of meat. We were lucky to see 5 different servings of meat in a week at Mikve Alon!! My 5 meals at Bakum turned out to be the highlight of my stay there - yes - doing the math correctly I did not reach my goal and I had to stay at bakum for another night.
The rest of the day and evening was spent trying to speak to a katzin miyun. I explained my situation to them and they told me that the nahal people would call me to get on the bus. At that point I would tell them that I refuse to get on the bus and to demand to speak to the katzin miyun. Then I could come back to the office and ask to speak to one. I politely said lets cut the bullshit and save some time here and let me see the katzin! Short answer is that I have to follow procedures. So I called my friends who were already waiting with nahal. I found out where they were and went to speak to their officers to talk to them. They said they didn't have my name on a list so they weren't going to be calling me.
Back at the katzin minyun - I'm standing around in the waiting area with everyone else, and someone comes up to me and tells me to sit down. Normally I wouldn't care, and in fact I was thinking of sitting down, but I was bored and in the arguing mood. Some of my points included "no", "are you kidding me?", "1, 2, 3, ... (counting all the people still standing)", "what is this place, backwards? Never in 3 months have I been told to sit - always to stand!". And the following one works best (draws the most attention to you) if you say it loudly and start waving your arms frantically. "I will sit down when I get to speak to a katzin miyun. Why have I been in the army 3 months and still not seen a katzin miyun, etc. etc." His counterpoints are irrelevant to the story. I pretty much just went on a rant after he dared tell me to sit down.
Later in the afternoon... Now I'm really starting to get pissed off. Back to the katzin miyun office I argue with them some more through the window, and they tell me I will see one soon. I then demand to see the katzin and ask why I have been in the army for 3 months and I still haven't spoken to the katzin miyun! At this point they tell me again that I'm going to carakal. I told them not so politely for the last time I'm not going to carakal. I came from half way around the world to volunteer to be in infantry. I got screwed because of my profile, so if I can't be a fighter in nahal I want to be a fighter in shiryon. At this point everyone in the office stops what their doing and looks at me like I'm a moron. This was an odd request for them because not many people request to be put into tanks.
6pm. After plenty of arguing I finally got to see the katzin miyun. I tell him why I want to go to shiryon and he says I will have an answer in the morning. All I need to do is go to the office and ask someone to check it up on the computer. That's the point where I find out I'm suck in this horrible place for another night.
445AM wakeup. 515AM head to the kitchen to do kitchen duty. I inform my supervisor that I need to go to the katzin miyun office at 8 to check on my situation. 745 and 750 reminders. 8AM I ask permission to go and he says just 10 more minutes and we will be done. Small argument ensues, but I stay another 10 minutes. 810 - "I need ot go to the office now, you said..." No- we are almost done. 825 I start freaking out and causing a scene. I leave to go to the office get the good news that I'm going to shiryon and return to the kitchen in under 5 minutes. Was it really worth the trouble for my supervisor? 11AM - weekend!!!
Now that I know which unit I am going to I have to go back on Sunday when everyone else shows up to enlist.
As for the competition we won last week, the privilege we won was 20 minutes of crappy internet from the computer room on base - just about enough time to change my fbook status and message a few people. Tuesday morning we finally got to break distance with our commanders. For about the 4 hours between breaking distance and getting on the bus to go to bakum we had a lot of fun being able to joke around and talk normally to our commanders. The only crappy thing was that right after the ceremony we had a few minutes to say goodbye to our commanders and then we had to get on the bus to take us to bakum. The ceremony was surprisingly more fun that I expected it to be considering all the mind numbing marching we had practiced. As part of the ceremony the mefakedets took away our education corps tags, so now I'm back to square one looking like a nobody, which really really sucks.
So we get to bakum just in time for dinner. We then got our beds ready in our 10 person tents and got to go to bed. Bakum is the base where everyone goes on their first day to enlist and get all your equipment and most importantly find out exactly what unit you go to (you don't actually find out 100% until you get to bakum). Working at bakum is the army equivalent of working at the lost luggage department at the airport. They have no idea what is going on, everyone hates them, and they can never help you or do anything correctly. So here is a rundown of my very frustrating yet hilarious day at bakum.
The goal: have someone tell me that I am going to shiryon (armored corps [tanks]) and that I can go home and come back on Sunday when everyone else from shiryon is enlisting. Timeframe: leave the base at a reasonable hour while it is still light outside (before 5PM).
The story...
445AM wakeup. Get the tents in order, pick up garbage and clean the territory and eat breakfast. After that we grabbed our bags, they gave us numbers and we waited for them to call each group of numbers to go through the enlistment process.
930AM they start calling numbers. They grouped me with all the mahal nahal people (the volunteers that are going to the nahal infantry unit) which was what I was supposed to do if my medical profile would allow it. Our number is the last to be called. We keep waiting while everyone else has already left to other places to get equipment and do all sorts of other things. They bring us buckets soap and squeegees. Bathrooms. At this point it was clear they didn't know what the hell to do with us, and this was not what we had volunteered for. After finishing the bathrooms we came back and started throwing around a football for a good half an hour. The following pretty much sums up an hour of the day: someone asked the commander 'what do you mean you don't know what to do with us - have you never seen a volunteer before?' to which he answered 'nope'.
11AM they finally call everyone except for 4 people, including me. They told me I was going to see a doctor. Okay, maybe I can try and get my profile raised again. On the way to the doctor we stopped off by the katzin miyun where I got my name called. The katzin miyun is an enlistment officer; you get to speak to him and tell him where you want to serve in the army. They try and take that into consideration when placing you. Due to the nature of the mahal program we don't get to see a katzin miyun because by default we all go to nahal. Some guy came out with an envelope and started to explain to me what unit I am enlisting to and that I had to be back here at this date and this time. In the middle of his explanation I looked at the piece of paper and noticed that the unit was not shiryon but carakal. So in the middle of his first sentence I interrupted him and told him that I'm going to shiryon and that he has to go back and change it because I'm not speaking to him at all if he's holding a piece of paper that says my name and carakal on it. He immediately walks away and then I am taken to see a doctor and I don't encounter that fool again.
1230 I get to see a doctor. I tell him I want to raise my profile. He looks at the computer and says 'I see you've already gone through this conversation with a different doctor'. In short, I'm still shit out of luck. Now on to lunch - for such a horrible base, they seem to have the most amazing food. There were 4 different servings of meat. We were lucky to see 5 different servings of meat in a week at Mikve Alon!! My 5 meals at Bakum turned out to be the highlight of my stay there - yes - doing the math correctly I did not reach my goal and I had to stay at bakum for another night.
The rest of the day and evening was spent trying to speak to a katzin miyun. I explained my situation to them and they told me that the nahal people would call me to get on the bus. At that point I would tell them that I refuse to get on the bus and to demand to speak to the katzin miyun. Then I could come back to the office and ask to speak to one. I politely said lets cut the bullshit and save some time here and let me see the katzin! Short answer is that I have to follow procedures. So I called my friends who were already waiting with nahal. I found out where they were and went to speak to their officers to talk to them. They said they didn't have my name on a list so they weren't going to be calling me.
Back at the katzin minyun - I'm standing around in the waiting area with everyone else, and someone comes up to me and tells me to sit down. Normally I wouldn't care, and in fact I was thinking of sitting down, but I was bored and in the arguing mood. Some of my points included "no", "are you kidding me?", "1, 2, 3, ... (counting all the people still standing)", "what is this place, backwards? Never in 3 months have I been told to sit - always to stand!". And the following one works best (draws the most attention to you) if you say it loudly and start waving your arms frantically. "I will sit down when I get to speak to a katzin miyun. Why have I been in the army 3 months and still not seen a katzin miyun, etc. etc." His counterpoints are irrelevant to the story. I pretty much just went on a rant after he dared tell me to sit down.
Later in the afternoon... Now I'm really starting to get pissed off. Back to the katzin miyun office I argue with them some more through the window, and they tell me I will see one soon. I then demand to see the katzin and ask why I have been in the army for 3 months and I still haven't spoken to the katzin miyun! At this point they tell me again that I'm going to carakal. I told them not so politely for the last time I'm not going to carakal. I came from half way around the world to volunteer to be in infantry. I got screwed because of my profile, so if I can't be a fighter in nahal I want to be a fighter in shiryon. At this point everyone in the office stops what their doing and looks at me like I'm a moron. This was an odd request for them because not many people request to be put into tanks.
6pm. After plenty of arguing I finally got to see the katzin miyun. I tell him why I want to go to shiryon and he says I will have an answer in the morning. All I need to do is go to the office and ask someone to check it up on the computer. That's the point where I find out I'm suck in this horrible place for another night.
445AM wakeup. 515AM head to the kitchen to do kitchen duty. I inform my supervisor that I need to go to the katzin miyun office at 8 to check on my situation. 745 and 750 reminders. 8AM I ask permission to go and he says just 10 more minutes and we will be done. Small argument ensues, but I stay another 10 minutes. 810 - "I need ot go to the office now, you said..." No- we are almost done. 825 I start freaking out and causing a scene. I leave to go to the office get the good news that I'm going to shiryon and return to the kitchen in under 5 minutes. Was it really worth the trouble for my supervisor? 11AM - weekend!!!
Now that I know which unit I am going to I have to go back on Sunday when everyone else shows up to enlist.
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