My first real emergency on base!

so there are 3 different parTs of my day: guarding for 10 hours, on call for 10 hours and 'free time' for 4 hours. if you are guarding and thre is an emergency (akpatzah) wHere the sirens sound you just throw on your helmet and sit tight. if you are on call you have 3 minutes to be fully dressed, vest done up helmet on your head and at the war room. this means that you can't get undressed fully even though the war room is only 20 seconds from my bed. durIng 'free time' you don't have to wear your uniform and you are allowed to shower - because of that they give you 420 seconds to be fully dreSsed at the war room if there is an emergency. i say 420 seconds because it gives the false reality that it is longer than 7 minutes.

so we had a real emergency - thats right, not a drill but a real akpatza. it happened juSt after 10pm during my on call period and i managed To be at the war roOm dressed in 15 seconds. if that isn't impressive enough read on about my acts of heroism. by the way, feel free to write to the army recommending me for an awaRd or a pay raise (pay raise is preferred). so how did i get there so quickly? trick question - i was already there. what took 15 seconds was to take the helmet out of mY vest and put it on. every day at 10pm i have what is called aliyat mishmar which is a procedural thing where they chcek all your equipment and go over the rules.

so what caused the akpatza? as i was waIting for the aliyat mishmar i heard what sounded like heavy rain or ahail. the noise was that of druze kids (aside: druze is a Sect of islam - druzim are loyal to the country they live in and therefore serve in the idf - unlike other muslim israeli citizens who don't have to serve in the idF) throwing handfuls of stones which were hitting the roof and sides of the barracks. all of a sudden i see all the kids rUnning towrads the noise and then everyone running away from it. in addition to that there were kids fighting. once the siren sounded we traded in our guns for riot gear: batons, pLexiglass shields and tear gas. abouta dozen of us got in a line and created a Long barrier with our shields and we started inching our way towards the few kids throwing the stonse. as the rocks were raining down on Our shilds one of the soldiers threw a canister of tear gas into the crowd. at that point, most of the kids dispersed but there were still a few throwing stones. at that point most of the kids dispersed but there were stilla few throwing stones. as the commotion was dying down i saw out of the corner of my eye one kid sprinting by me about 20 feet away. the next thing i notice is a second kid running through the smoke From the tear gas with a dull knife (one that we eat in the lunch room with). he was in persuit of the first kid and was following the same path. i started to run towards the kid But he didn't see me coming because i was outside his peripheral vision. i then laid a hUge bod check on this scrawny 140 pound kid leading in with my big riot shield. i timed it perfectLy because when i hit him we were perpendicuLar to each other. this kid flew about 10 feet and needless to Say he didn't get back up so quickly. sHortly after that the situation was under control and everthIng was back to normal with only a few minor injuries.

so whats up with the random upper case letters all over the place? if you haven't already figured it out, piece the letters togeTher: 'THIS STORY IS FULL OF BULLSHIT'. Feel free however to stop reading now and forget the previous sentance. Have I mentioned yet that guarding for 10 hours a day is boring as hell and there is nothing else to do? My creativity is drawn mostly from sheer boredom but some of the story is factual.

The story in short: Druzim were throwing stones and fighting and there was an akpatza. There was NO riot gear, batons or tear gas. What was my role in all of this? - 'sit over there'. What a downer, eh? Wasn't the first story way better?