Live vicariously through me and my experiences as an oleh chadash (new immigrant) and my experiences from having served as a combat soldier in the IDF. What will happen next....????
We woke up at 3AM in order to get home for the weekend!!! Left base at 430AM and ended up at home by 1PM. Before I got to the kibbutz I stopped off at the supermarket to buy food. As I was shopping some random person came up to me and asked me if I was a lone soldier and if I had a place to eat for shabbat. How did she know that I was a lone soldier who didn't have a place for shabbat? Well I kinda stick out like a sore thumb. A soldier doesn't really go shopping for food alone in uniform 4 hours before shabbat unless he really has to. If you know me, I only go shopping when I REALLY need to. I had no food, and therefore really needed to shop. I politely declined because my buddy Jon was visiting me on my kibbutz for the weekend. It's not uncommon for that to happen. People are really nice to soldiers.
After a long night of partying I actually decided to do something besides sit around and waste time on the internet. I haven't really ventured around the neighbourhood and I figured since someone came to visit me we should actually do something. I'm usually too tired and lazy to do anything. So just like that we decided to go for a hike up the Gilboa mountain. It had rained the day before so it was a bit muddy, but that still didn't stop us. There was nobody around and as we started walking through the farms to get to the base of the mountain there were 2 cars that passed us. Jon and I were both wearing AEPi t-shirts and the guy in the second car rolls down his window and yells AEPi!!! He was in AEPi in Vegas and a very hilarious and random encounter. At what point do these random encounters stop being random? It seems that every corner I turn I expect to bump into someone I have some sort of connection with. The hike was pretty awesome and long - 3 hours in total, but the view was definitely worth it!
My backyard! Thats my kibbutz to the left of my head.
Before we went on the hike I got a call from a friend, Dan who is in Israel on Birthright, but I was surprised to hear that it was a different friend on the phone, Cliel (an avid reader of Kaldors Korner I might add) who I didn't know was also here. So just like that I decided to go back to Jerusalem with Jon to meet up with them at night at Ben Yehuda Street. Whenever I go to Ben Yehuda Street or the Old City I am always on the lookout for people I know. There is rarely a time I go to those places and don't bump into someone I know. In fact, I get disappointed if I don't bump into someone I didn't expect to see. So not so surprisingly, I bumped into someone else that was on the birthright trip that I knew.
So that was my weekend of very random encounters. I'm sure I will bump into people again tomorrow when I tour Jerusalem.
Sunday it was back into the field for 4 more days and 3 nights of more shooting. This was week 2 of 3 of shooting and we practiced the 3 shooting position - standing, kneeling and lying down. We also practices gun jams and changing magazines. We shoot from 25 and 50 meters during the day and do the eact same exercizes at night from the maximum distance we can see the target (appx. 15 meters). My shot is pretty good and I have been hitting the target most of the time. It takes time to get used to holding the very uncomfortable positions for a long time.
By the third day of Chanukah and being back in the field with shitty food I was really craving a sufganiyah (jelly donuts you eat on Chanukah). During Chanukah the army gives out sufganiyot but I didn't think that they were going to give it to us out in the field, but I was really fiending one. In the middle of the afternoon I suddenly saw an oasis in the desret - no it wasn't water, but the Chabadmobile with sufganiyot blasting hassidic music! We got a break from the day (we don't get breaks. EVER. PERIOD!) to eat sing and dance to Chanukah tunes. Kol hacavod כל הכבוד to Chabad for finding us in the middle of nowhere! It definately cheered up our day! The next day we got our sufganiyah from the army and the one from Chabbad were much better! We lit the Chanukah candles every night, and it was really cool to be lighting them in the field when it was pitch black with nothing around - only sand and stars.
We had another masa - this one 4km in 45 minutes and it was much easier than the one before because I wasn't carrying the 10L jerrycan of water on my back. After each masa we get add-ons to our uniform or our equipment - the first masa we got our gun, and now we got our tag to wear on our shoulders that signify what unit we are in. During the course at Mikve Alon I had the Education Corps tag and for the past 3 weeks I took a step backwards and was without a tag but now I have one signifying I'm in kravi so that is pretty awesome.
So whats it like going 'camping' with the army? Well its nothing like going camping for a weeknd with your buddies to sit by the lake drink beers and have a BBQ. You can't take your cellphone with you and ther eare obviously no showers so that means we really don't need an hour of free time every day. In the field we get half an hour - enough time to make your sleeping bag ready, brush your teeth and take a piss - aside from that there really isn't anything else to do when you can't even see anything. As usual, we get our 6 hours of non consecutive sleep (we have to do half an hour of guard duty throught the night). Our 18 hour days really do feel that long. Even meal time is no break - there are 20 vultures trying to eat from the same few cans of food and couple of loafs of bread. If we are lucky we will get half an hour to eat. There is always something to do and are never given any breaks. Fix this, clean that, move thos rocks, why are those kitbags and vests always out of order!?!?! During the day it gets quite hot, but at night it is FREEZING! We are totally out in the open so there are no building to block the wind, or fires to keep us warm. We sleep in 2 person tents and we make it fit 3 people for warmth.
We gave in our sleeping bags for real cleaning which was a real shame on the waste of water used to clean them. They were clean for about the 1.5 seconds while someone threw it from the truck and before it hit the sand. It would have been ideal for them to give us new ones when we returned to base, so we could use them but then again what the hell do I know? I'm only older than everyone and have a university degree, but I'm still the scum of the earth on the base because I'm just in basic training. The next day when we got back to base we got new sleeping bags again - again, a real shame on the water. Additionally, changing clothing is a complete waste of:
time - spent looking for your clothing (especially in the dark) and changing while attempting to not drop your clothing into the sand.
space - I can barely fit the things in my kitbag that I need, yet alone any extra clothing.
water - used to clean the clothes ( there is a really bad water shortage in Israel, so its even more important to conserve)
On the one hand its a waste of a lot of resources to attempt to stay clean but it seems the only 2 things that really matter are that you are clean shaven and your boots are shined. Being clean shaven I'm willing to accept, but I think its absolutely ridiculous to be shining my black boots at 5AM in the dark when I can't even see them! Additionally after I take 2 steps or if there is a gust of wind my boots are dirty again! They say its all about discipline but I say its ridiculous. At least we only have to do it once a day. On base there are days when we have to fix our boots 4 or 5 times.
Until now, most of the time we have been carrying around our gun, it has prety much been a hunk of metal in the shape of a gun. It really isn't a gun yet if your not given any ammo. On Wednesday we were given a strap in which to secure a magazine to the side of the gun. So now we have the responsibility to carry around a gun and ammo all the time, not just a hunk of metal.
In 2 weeks my parent are coming to visit me, which is very exciting. I haven't seen them since I left for Israel 7 months ago. They are coming for my swearing into the army ceremony. I already had this ceremony as part of the ulpan course at Mikve Alon, but it's a much bigger deal and bigger event for combat soldiers. If your in the area (and by area I mean country) you should come and show your support for the shiryonairim of November 2009 who will be keeping Israe lsafe. It's also a great chance for you to see me and meet my parents. The ceremony is Thursday January 7th in Latrun. Call me for more details.
It has been a long 12 days on base, but finally I get my 2 day weekend before I spend another 12 days on base (most of it in the field again). We have a day trip to Jerusalem, one week at the shooting range and then the second week we start doing exercise in the open field - not at the range.
Once again, if you haven't already become a fan of my blog on facebook, here is the link http://facebook.com/kaldorskorner
Getting back to base was a pain in the ass. I had to run to the bank and therefore didn't have time to meet at the regular meeting place. I took 3 busses and 6 hours of travel to get to base. I stayed up too late Saturday taloking to friends back home (7 hrs behind) so I was exhaused all day (I'm constantly exhausted so not that this is any different). Since all the buses are always jam packed on Sunday mornings with all the soldiers returning to base, I couldn't get a seat on the last 2 legs of the trip so I was stuck in the aisle. The good thing is that it is socially acceptable for soldiers to lie down and sleep in the aisles of buses - in fact it was more comfortable because I could fully stretch out and use my backpack as a pillow.
Monday I made a new best friend - my gun. I take care of it, clean it, sleep with it under my mattress and take it everywhere with me (I don't get to take it off base just yet). Siryonairim (people in shiryon) get the M16 with the shortest barrel length so that there is room for it in the tank. It's much less awkward than the long M16 we got at Mikve Alon.
On Tuesday we went into the field for 3 days. The first day was spent mostly loading up the truck with everything we needed and setting up the campsite. We also spent a lot of time gathering rocks to make paths. It was really hot during the days and freezing cold at night. We had our first masa (hike) - it was a piece of cake and more like a 3km night medium paced walk through the desert. There were some people that were really struggling, but even with a 10L jerrycan of water on my back I wanted to go farther and faster. Afterwards there was a ceremony which officially starts our journey to becoming לוחמים (fighters). The rest of our time in the field was spent at the shooting range and eating shitty food. I blogged earlier about the shitty battle rations and the loof, but now we got better food. All the food is fresh - fresh right out of a can. We get canned tuna, pickles, corn disgusting rice something or other wrapped in vine leaves and drowned in oil, pineapples, chocolate spread, jam, ketchup, halva and bread. It's still shitty food, but the corn and pineapples are a big improvement on loof especially when we eat the stuff for every meal. It's no longer breakfast time/lunch time/ dinner time - its meal time. I was never much of a tuna fan to begin with, and its especially not tasty drenched in oil right of out the can. I was looking for ways to improve my sandwiches - with the limited combination available I have concluded that tuna, corn and chocolate sandwiches work best. Yes- everyone else was also wondering what the hel is wrong with me. Chocolate and pineapple sandwiches are amazing, but I found out that tuna and pineapple was an experiment gone terribly wrong.
I have also concluded that sandwiches were invented in the desert. If you put tuna on a piece of bread, you have a tuna sandwich, right? In this case you are subconsciously neglecting all the sand your eating. It's much easier to say your eating a tuna sandwhich than eating a tuna sand wich. Also the word wich could be confused for a question, as in tuna sand which? To make things clear, they are called sandwiches (or in hebrew sandviches). Additionally, if the sandwich was invented in a rainy area it would probably be called mudwiches. If your thinking I'm more crazy now after drawing this conclusion in my defense I'm writing this on shabbat on base where there is nothing to do. I'm not saying that I'm not crazy, but please take this into account. Basically the main point I'm trying tom ake is that there is sand EVERYWHERE!
We have a very back asswards way of 'cleaning' things. After coming back from the field late on Thursday night and were ready for bed. Instead of going to bed, we got the standard 7 minutes to change into our uniforms for what became a לילה לבן (white night - staying up all night) of cleaning our equipment, and pushups. So to clean our equipment we are given x minutes to clean a specific item and run to put it in our rooms. So here is where the back asswardness comes into play. We were given 4 minutes to clean our shovel and tent pegs and put them in our room (It takes 1.5-2 minutes to run to the room and back). The specific way of cleaning these items are with oil, which I think is a bit excessive and unnecessary when you take into account how we 'clean' our jacket, vest, backpack and kitbag. We were given 4 minutes to clean our kitbag with no specif orders on how to do it. I had enough time to smack it against the dirty wall and ground creating more dust and dirt before I realized I had to sprint to put it in my room. We spent 6 hours cleaning the equipment, rooms, running and pushups. We got breakfast and were sent to bed at 530AM. We woke up 6 hours later (because thats all the sleep we need, according to the army) and did our physical test (pushups, situps and a 2km run). After eating crappy food for 3 days and staying up all night doing a physical test was not what I wanted to do after only 6 hours of sleep at 1230 in the afternoon in the desert.
After a long hard week we lit the CHanukah candles for the first night of the holiday and went into Shabbat. This means that I have time to talk on my phone, listen to music, sleep and blog. There really isn't much else to do but its a great break from the week. the food on Shabbat is better than the regular days and much better than the battle rations. The best part of Shabbat is that they are not allowed to give us orders!
This week I joined kravi (combat) in shiryon (armored corps) and am now a lochem (fighter) in the IDF!!! Finally after six and a half months in the country I'm starting to do what I came here to do!
Okay, so I'll just answer the most important questions right off the bat, but this doesn't mean you can stop reading! No I don't have a gun yet - I get it next week - the shortest M16. No I don't get to take it home next week - only after basic training (3 months) No I don't have a tank yet. In 3 months after basic training we start learning about the tank, until then its just general infantry training. But I will be in a Merkeva Mark 3 BAZ. There are 4 jobs in the tank (commander, driver, gunner, loader) and after basic training I get told what job in the tank I get.
So on Sunday I went back to bakum to trade in my red boots for black ones. After a week already it hurts to sit, stand, walk, run and even just to have my feet in the boots. My base is about 350 km from where I live and and about 60km from Eilat, which is as far south as you can get. It took me 6 hours to get home, and I think I made excellent timing. The living conditions have improve. I live in a ROOM with 9 people (I'm emphasizing the word room for all my friends in Nahal who now live in tents). Also we get air conditioning. I sleep on the bottom bunk of a bed that doesn't have a metal bar perpendicular to my body across the middle of my back. I have a personal light at my bed and an electrical outlet of my own. Additionally, the food is better.
Other than what seems to be the hotel like living conditions, it has been the past 3 months that now seem like a vacation. They take no bullshit anymore. When standing in formation you can't move an inch - sometimes for up to half an hour. Unexpectedly without knowing a mefaked will whisper very loudly in your ear from behind telling you to stop moving. At mikve alon we had mefakedets (female commanders as opposed to mefakeds which are male commanders) and they tried to act tough but they really weren't fooling anyone - they are too nice to be mean. Now I have a Samach (mefaked machlakah) who I don't think could crack a smile if his life depended on it.
In my machlakah of 29 I'm the only lone soldier and also the only one who doesn't speak fluent Hebrew (not that I'm anywhere near fluent). After a week my brain has been hurting from having to pay attention all the time to what they are saying. It's difficult to learn whats going on in the army and also to learn a language at the same time. It also doesn't help that they speak a mile a minute. Luckily I understand enough words in each sentence to know what going on through the context. I don't know what language they were speaking to me at Mikve Alon, but for arguments sake lets call it Hemilon (HEbrew at MIkve aLON) which seems to be a mix of easy hebrew words, english and slow talking. Everyone is helpful and tries to help me with my hebrew which is good. A few more weeks and I will really get the hang of the language. My mefaked seems to be a pretty chill guy and similar to me - he's also a lone soldier from Brazil and he said when he came he had a hard time with the language as well, so he seems to understand where I'm coming from.
I only get 6 hours of sleep now (compared to getting 7.5 hrs at mikve alon) and that interrupted sleep because on occasion we have to do 20 minutes - half an hour of guard duty during the middle of the night. Also my hour and a half of free time has now been shortened to an hour and in that time I have to shower, brush teeth, shine shoes, and organize the room for bedtime.
I also feel very old. I'm starting the army at 24, and I think I only had one conversation this week with someone older than me - the mefaked of the pluga, and even he might not be much older than I. Everyone has a private meeting with the commanders in order to meet them and introduce yourself. The mefaked pluga was in shock and baffled to find out that I'm just starting the army as a volunteer at 24 and that I already have a degree. At Mikve Alon I didn't really feel it because there were people like me who came to serve at an older age, but there aren't many or any in shiryon that I have encountered yet. My commanders are 21 and everyone in basic training like me is 18. Most people are shocked to find out im 24, but are still very helpful and nice.
Aside from getting adjusted to my new setting, the first week was pretty boring - equipment checks, learning how to do the day to day stuff like making our beds and keeping our rooms clean to their standards, meetings with the commanders, and other general 'welcome to the army' knowledge. They did however put on an awesome demo for us where a tank drove around and blew shit up - in 8 months I will be able to do the same!
So here is a bit of information on what I learned about the part of the army I have joined. I am in the 188th armored brigade, which is called barak (lightning). My brigade is part of the Northern Command, so after I finish with my training I will be stationed back up north with what I consider to be a more beautiful part of the country. I've barely even started yet, and I'm already sick of the sand! There is a lot of history within my brigade, as it has been involved in almost all the wars. During the Yom Kippur War in 1973, the brigade was nearly wiped out while defending the Golan Heights against the Syrians. In Operation Cast Lead almost one year ago the brigade was the first one to enter Gaza and the last one to leave. Two famous people that served in my brigade is Zvika Greengold who was awarded the medal of honor for his efforts in the Yom Kippur War, and also Gilad Shalit, who is still being held captive by Hamas who was captured in July of 2006.
Next week we get our guns, go out into the field to start training and I'm on base for Shabbat, so I'm there for the next 12 days. We have our basic training schedule, and between now and the end of February I only get off base for 6 Shabbats (thats assuming I don't screw up and am forced to stay as a punishment for one of them). Yea, my thoughts exactly - that sucks!!! So my next update will be in 2 weeks time and I'm sure I will have a lot to talk about.
Our course ended on Tuesday and from Sunday-Tuesday we practiced for the ceremony. It was like being a part of a marching band - minus the band part - just marching. Left left left right left. It really sucks the life out of the fun of a ceremony when you have to practice marching and standing for probably a dozen hours. The entire time we had this big fat angry guy called the Rasar yelling at us when we would move an inch. The big finale of the ceremony was that we all marched into a formation of a menorah - every time we practiced it we would screw it up because someone new would join into the formation or someone would leave and it would screw everyone up.
As for the competition we won last week, the privilege we won was 20 minutes of crappy internet from the computer room on base - just about enough time to change my fbook status and message a few people. Tuesday morning we finally got to break distance with our commanders. For about the 4 hours between breaking distance and getting on the bus to go to bakum we had a lot of fun being able to joke around and talk normally to our commanders. The only crappy thing was that right after the ceremony we had a few minutes to say goodbye to our commanders and then we had to get on the bus to take us to bakum. The ceremony was surprisingly more fun that I expected it to be considering all the mind numbing marching we had practiced. As part of the ceremony the mefakedets took away our education corps tags, so now I'm back to square one looking like a nobody, which really really sucks.
So we get to bakum just in time for dinner. We then got our beds ready in our 10 person tents and got to go to bed. Bakum is the base where everyone goes on their first day to enlist and get all your equipment and most importantly find out exactly what unit you go to (you don't actually find out 100% until you get to bakum). Working at bakum is the army equivalent of working at the lost luggage department at the airport. They have no idea what is going on, everyone hates them, and they can never help you or do anything correctly. So here is a rundown of my very frustrating yet hilarious day at bakum.
The goal: have someone tell me that I am going to shiryon (armored corps [tanks]) and that I can go home and come back on Sunday when everyone else from shiryon is enlisting. Timeframe: leave the base at a reasonable hour while it is still light outside (before 5PM).
The story... 445AM wakeup. Get the tents in order, pick up garbage and clean the territory and eat breakfast. After that we grabbed our bags, they gave us numbers and we waited for them to call each group of numbers to go through the enlistment process. 930AM they start calling numbers. They grouped me with all the mahal nahal people (the volunteers that are going to the nahal infantry unit) which was what I was supposed to do if my medical profile would allow it. Our number is the last to be called. We keep waiting while everyone else has already left to other places to get equipment and do all sorts of other things. They bring us buckets soap and squeegees. Bathrooms. At this point it was clear they didn't know what the hell to do with us, and this was not what we had volunteered for. After finishing the bathrooms we came back and started throwing around a football for a good half an hour. The following pretty much sums up an hour of the day: someone asked the commander 'what do you mean you don't know what to do with us - have you never seen a volunteer before?' to which he answered 'nope'. 11AM they finally call everyone except for 4 people, including me. They told me I was going to see a doctor. Okay, maybe I can try and get my profile raised again. On the way to the doctor we stopped off by the katzin miyun where I got my name called. The katzin miyun is an enlistment officer; you get to speak to him and tell him where you want to serve in the army. They try and take that into consideration when placing you. Due to the nature of the mahal program we don't get to see a katzin miyun because by default we all go to nahal. Some guy came out with an envelope and started to explain to me what unit I am enlisting to and that I had to be back here at this date and this time. In the middle of his explanation I looked at the piece of paper and noticed that the unit was not shiryon but carakal. So in the middle of his first sentence I interrupted him and told him that I'm going to shiryon and that he has to go back and change it because I'm not speaking to him at all if he's holding a piece of paper that says my name and carakal on it. He immediately walks away and then I am taken to see a doctor and I don't encounter that fool again.
1230 I get to see a doctor. I tell him I want to raise my profile. He looks at the computer and says 'I see you've already gone through this conversation with a different doctor'. In short, I'm still shit out of luck. Now on to lunch - for such a horrible base, they seem to have the most amazing food. There were 4 different servings of meat. We were lucky to see 5 different servings of meat in a week at Mikve Alon!! My 5 meals at Bakum turned out to be the highlight of my stay there - yes - doing the math correctly I did not reach my goal and I had to stay at bakum for another night.
The rest of the day and evening was spent trying to speak to a katzin miyun. I explained my situation to them and they told me that the nahal people would call me to get on the bus. At that point I would tell them that I refuse to get on the bus and to demand to speak to the katzin miyun. Then I could come back to the office and ask to speak to one. I politely said lets cut the bullshit and save some time here and let me see the katzin! Short answer is that I have to follow procedures. So I called my friends who were already waiting with nahal. I found out where they were and went to speak to their officers to talk to them. They said they didn't have my name on a list so they weren't going to be calling me.
Back at the katzin minyun - I'm standing around in the waiting area with everyone else, and someone comes up to me and tells me to sit down. Normally I wouldn't care, and in fact I was thinking of sitting down, but I was bored and in the arguing mood. Some of my points included "no", "are you kidding me?", "1, 2, 3, ... (counting all the people still standing)", "what is this place, backwards? Never in 3 months have I been told to sit - always to stand!". And the following one works best (draws the most attention to you) if you say it loudly and start waving your arms frantically. "I will sit down when I get to speak to a katzin miyun. Why have I been in the army 3 months and still not seen a katzin miyun, etc. etc." His counterpoints are irrelevant to the story. I pretty much just went on a rant after he dared tell me to sit down.
Later in the afternoon... Now I'm really starting to get pissed off. Back to the katzin miyun office I argue with them some more through the window, and they tell me I will see one soon. I then demand to see the katzin and ask why I have been in the army for 3 months and I still haven't spoken to the katzin miyun! At this point they tell me again that I'm going to carakal. I told them not so politely for the last time I'm not going to carakal. I came from half way around the world to volunteer to be in infantry. I got screwed because of my profile, so if I can't be a fighter in nahal I want to be a fighter in shiryon. At this point everyone in the office stops what their doing and looks at me like I'm a moron. This was an odd request for them because not many people request to be put into tanks.
6pm. After plenty of arguing I finally got to see the katzin miyun. I tell him why I want to go to shiryon and he says I will have an answer in the morning. All I need to do is go to the office and ask someone to check it up on the computer. That's the point where I find out I'm suck in this horrible place for another night.
445AM wakeup. 515AM head to the kitchen to do kitchen duty. I inform my supervisor that I need to go to the katzin miyun office at 8 to check on my situation. 745 and 750 reminders. 8AM I ask permission to go and he says just 10 more minutes and we will be done. Small argument ensues, but I stay another 10 minutes. 810 - "I need ot go to the office now, you said..." No- we are almost done. 825 I start freaking out and causing a scene. I leave to go to the office get the good news that I'm going to shiryon and return to the kitchen in under 5 minutes. Was it really worth the trouble for my supervisor? 11AM - weekend!!!
Now that I know which unit I am going to I have to go back on Sunday when everyone else shows up to enlist.
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I forgot to mention last week that now I have been in Israel now for 6 months!!!! How time flies!
I just had my last full week at Mikve Alon. Next week all we have is our ceremony and on Tuesday they are driving us back to Bakum - which is where you go on your first day of the army. Apparently we spend a hell of a lot of time practicing for the ceremony and being bossed around by an angry fat guy called the Rasar. This week we pretty much wrapped up the course. We had our final classes, a competition between all the tzevets, and gave back all our equipment. This week was a bit crazy because whenever a course ends, people stop caring (that is under the assumption that some people actually started caring). Aside from the stupid people who are acting like idiots all the time, now it has been taken to a new level because we are finishing the course. It's frustrating at times, but now also quite funny some of the things people are starting to do.
We put on a show for the entire pluga displaying some culture from where we all came from. As I mentioned the course is for people who were not born in Israel and made aliyah or volunteering and their hebrew is not that good. So there were people from literally all over the world - North, Central and South America, Europe, South Africa, Australia, Russia, India and even the Phillipenes. Some of the skits were informative, others hilarious, and some downright violent (and I'm not talking about us Canadians playing hockey). The people from the countries that end in 'stan from the former USSR explained and demonstrated the best way to kidnap a soon to be wife. The Americans sung and danced. The French put on a skit where 2 American tourists were taking a tour through Paris. Then all of a sudden they got mugged by hoodlums who pretended to beat them up. The only problem was that one of the 'American tourists' that pretended to get hit in the face didn't get up from the floor because he got punched and blood was running from his nose like a faucet. Luckily he was okay, but if it wasn't for that incident our skit from Canada would have been the funniest. I don't think anyone has a video of the kid getting knocked in the face, which is unfortunate. Lots of people were video-ing the skits but once the french started their skit everyone figured it wasn't worth wasting the battery power on it so people turned off the cameras. What a shame. So once again my internet is being a pain in the ass and I can't upload the video that we did on Canada, which was actually quite hilarious. I will have to look into it again later.
We had a physical competition between all the tzevets which was a lot of fun. We didn't know what we had to do, but there were multiple sections to the competition. The first thing we had to do was run about 400 meters with someone on the stretcher. The next part of the competition was that we had to crawl about 30 meters, and between the tzevet finish a 10 liter jerry can of water (there were 8 of us in the tzevet) then we had to eat 3 cans of loof. To remind you, loof is one of the menu items on the battle rations. One of my cousins brings the loof back to his mother who then feeds it to the stray cats. The stuff tastes like shit - think kosher spam. So in the attempt to stomach the loof after drinking far too much water far too fast, I found out that tasting loof can self induce vomiting. The instant the loof touched my tongue everything came back up. Eating loof can be a good alternative to sticking your fingers down your throat. I did manage to stomach some of the loof, but note easily. Leg 3 was to carry 4 tzevet members about 100 meters using 3 people, where one person grabs the legs, and the other two each grab and arm. To finish it all off, leg 4 was an endurance competiton of who can hold themselves up in the bridge position (forearms and toes are the only things on the ground) for the longest. Most people dropped out in the 5-7 minute range, but the competition ended after 15 minutes where a few people were still hanging in there, with one guy, Chris practically lying in his own vomit. Quite the intense competition. The commanders were watching and laughing while the majority of people were puking up all that water and loof we had drank throughout the competition. Minus the loof and too much water, the competition was fun and everyone enjoyed the healthy competition - pardon the pun.
We had another competition between the tzevets on what we had learnt in our Zionism classes. We had to run from place to place around the base and answer questions. I figured this would be a piece of cake, and that hands down I would take the competition. At every station a different mefakedet was waiting to give us the question - or at least they were supposed to be. In short, two instances we got to where the mefakedet was supposed to be before her. This led us to running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find her. This led us not only into the dining room, but into the actual kitchen where we got evil eyed by the sweet old lunch ladies. Also, the same mefakedet caused me to nearly flip out on her because she told me my answer was wrong when I knew it was 100% right and then spent the next 10 minutes trying to think of the correct answer - the exact answer I gave the first time. All this bullshit led my tzevet to lose the challenge by a minute as opposed to crushing everyone by 10 minutes. Unlike the prize for the physical competion, which was junk food - not something good to eat after puking your guts out, this prize was a surprise privaledge. So I was very pissed off to find out that we lost. We disputed the fact that we should have won, so in the end they said both of our teams won. So now we have to wait until next week to find out what we won, but hopefully its something good.
We gave back all our stuff that they had given us - our bet uniform (the stuff you wear on base and get dirty), vest, dissease infested blankets (scabias) and our canteens. It was very liberating to walk around without a canteen considering it was the second most important thing we had in our possessions - next to the gun.
I'm really excited that the course is almost over and I can finally go to my combat unit. I'm pretty sure I get off from the army on Wednesday so I get some days off beforehand. Another thing everyone has been looking forward to is breaking distance. That means that we actually get to speak to our commanders like real people. For 3 months we have to call them by their rank, and we don't know anything about them. On occasion we dig up information like 'I saw so and so on a bus heading home' or 'I saw their name written on their backpack', etc. So at the end of the course they actually introduce themselves and we get to meet the people behind the job. Its sad that the course is over and now everyone is going to their own units. I only know one other person who is also going to tanks, so its going to be a fresh start. It's going to be good to get away from all the morons on the base, but I am nearly 100% positive they will be replaced by other morons.
I was supposed to get the day off on Sunday to go to the bank, but at the last minute I was told I had to return to base on Sunday because I had to take an important hebrew test on Monday, but that I could go home on Monday and return Tuesday to take my day off. This was a real pain in the ass because I wouldn't get my entire day free. Going to the bank would only take me about an hour, and the rest of the day I could relax and do nothing - but the army screwed that all up. So Sunday was a complete waste of a day where we did nothing - which included waiting 2 hours at our meeting point for the army bus to take us to base. This wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't between 11AM-1PM: lunch time. Monday I was just itching all day waiting to go home. I figured I would have the hebrew test early in the morning and at the latest grab an early lunch on base and then leave. Well I didn't have the test until after lunch, and on top of that they remembered that I needed to have a court case because I went AWOL. So I didn't get to leave base until 3PM. This pissed me off because had I taken Sunday off i would have been back on base in time for both my court case and my hebrew test! On top of that, when I returned to base on Tuesday there was also time to have my hebrew test! For most of my day off I was planning on doing nothing - but because my day off was in the middle of the week and it felt like more of a pain. I spent more than half of my 2 half days either sleeping or travelling to and from base. So when I finally got back to base on Tuesday I waited for everyone else to have their hebrew test and then wasted the rest of the day away. Wednesday and Thursday we had a trip to Jerusalem, so that made the week very easy and short (we ended the week on Thursday evening, so we didn't have to return to base!)
So court was interesting - I explained my situation and then I basically got chewed out. I got off really easy - only with a warning, so I got lucky. I guess being a good soldier for 3 months finally paid off. So now on to the trip to Jerusalem. I was excited to go on this trip because doing anything aside from being on base is fun. Also I was excited to tour Jerusalem from a different perspective this time - not tourist, but soldier. Our first stop was Yad Vashem - the holocaust museum. We got a tour in English!!! The way the army works is that if you don't understand something they will explain it to you in english in all situation except one - if you are on our base. I was surprised that they didn't force us to have tours in hebrew, however, if there is only one thing in the past 3 months that we needed to understand 100%, this was it.
Next we went to Har Hertzl - which is the miltiary cemetary. In addition to soldiers, Presidents and Prime Ministers are also burried there. At the pinnacle of the cemetary is the grave of Theodore Hertzl - the man who created the idea of Zionism and the need for Jews to return to the land of Israel. In addition to Hertzl's grave we also visited the graves of Yitzhak Rabin (Prime Minister who was assasinated 14 years ago for his peace efforts), Golda Meir (Israel's first female Prime Minister), Chana Szenes (Jewish female Hungarian paratrooper who was captured and killed in Yugoslavia on a mission during WW2), Michael Levin (Paratrooper killed in action in the Second Lebanon War - more on him on previous blog posts), and a Memorial for terrorist victims. One story we were told was one of the worst situations ever. Yuval Harel from a community in Jerusalem called Talpiyot was killed during the First Lebanon War in 1982. Officer's arrived at the soldier's house to tell his family that he had been killed. While the officers were talking about Yuval the parents were in shock and thinking this isn't my son. Yuval was killed by a bullet to the head and his parents couldn't understand how this could happen and why he would get outside of his tank. Only when the officer was saying how Yuval loved being a paratrooper did they know that it wasn't thier son. Having made an honest mistake the officers left and drove to Yuval Harel's house in Talpiyot to break the bad news to his family - yes, same name, same community. It gets worse. Two days later the officers returned to Yuval Harel's house - the one in the tank and told his parents that this time they did not make a mistake. Yuval Harel from Talpiyot is burried 2 graves away from Yuval Harel from Talpiyot. Having been to the cemetary before, It's hard to describe the feeling being there as a soldier.
Hertzl's grave
After Har Hertzl, we were running behind schedule, so we travelled almost an hour to spent 20 minutes at mini Israel - a miniature version of the entire county. It was fun, but not nearly enough time there.
Thursday we went to Ammunition Hill. A very hard battle took place there in the 6 Day War in 1967. The 66th Paratrooper brigade was tasked with taking the hill. Each third of the brigade was to take the hill through one of the 3 trenches. A mistake was made and nobody took the eastern trench. This mistake needless to say was deadly - 37 Israeli soldiers were killed in the mission to take the hill. We did a little demonstartion to show how hard the battle was. Half of our machlakah was sent to the bottom of the trench, the other half to the top. We were instructed to switch places as fast as we can. The trenches are wide enough for exactly one person to stand. So 60 people have to pass each other where the path is only wide enough for one person, and on top of that you have to crouch down because if you stand upright your head is sticking out, which means your dead. It wasn't easy, and on top of that we didn't have bulky vests with large M16 guns with the dead and wounded literally on the ground in the trenches. This battle was really one of the hardest battles of the war.
We took a tour of the Old City which culminated with the singing of Hatikva at the Kotel as part of a little ceremony with our entire pluga (company) of about 150 soldiers. Having been to the Kotel countless times in my life, this time was obviously more special. To visit the holiest place in the world tasked with the job of defending it and everything Judaism stands for is a feeling that can't be put into words. All I can say is that it has been over two thousand years since someone from my bloodline was standing where I was with the same mission: defending Israel and the Jewish people.
Sunday I had a doc appointment to actually get my medical profile raised so I can do infantry. I have been waiting a month and a half for this appointment. Long story short - the doc said no and I'm screwed. This means I can't try out for paratroopers, be in Nahal or any other infantry unit. So with only a week left before the paratrooper tryout I had to find a way to see another doc to raise my profile. Monday I was supposed to have the day off to take care of business but I came back to the base instead to see what else I could do to get my profile raised. Long story short I'm SOL - shit out of luck. So my last option was to take matters into my own hands. So right before bedtime I decided I was going to go to the army enlistment office in Tel Aviv the next day to try and see a doctor. FYI - like most things, you need an appointment and can't just go there. So when I woke up on Tuesday I told my mefakedet where I was going. After a brief discussion where she said 'no', and 'you know this is a sanction' I said goodbye, walked off the base and went AWOL (absent without leave). So 3 hours later I'm off the train in Tel Aviv and I don't exactly know which bus to take and where exactly to go once I get off the bus.
Aside: now is probably an acceptable time to call me crazy. If you thought I was crazy before this blog post you can probably upgrade me (or downgrade - depending on your perspective) to f-ing crazy.
So I asked one soldier for directions. He said to follow him because he was going to the same place. We started talking and he happened to be an officer on my base. I explained my situation to him and he asked me for the doctors note and he would help me find the place. Well, I didn't have papers because I didn't have an appointment or permission to leave base. So he called my officers and found out my scoop and gave me an ultimatum. He said he would do everything he could to help me see a doc on the condition that I return to the base with him at the end of the day or best of luck to me on my own.
So here was my thought process: If I go with him, my hands are tied and all I can do is hope that he is able (and truly willing) to help me. On the other hand, I didn't have a concrete plan on getting back to base - the last bus was at 730PM and I didn't know if I would make it in time considering I had to take 2 busses and a train in order to catch that bus. I also realized I needed someone to help me at some point throughout my troubles so why turn down the help now, at the beginning of the day? Thirdly choosing to go with him would probably help my case once I got back to base.
Fast forward 5 hours - I finally spoke to someone. She was the Mamag of my base (2nd or 3rd from the top) who also just happened to be at this other base. She made some phonecalls and said she would try and get me another appointment, but in short I'm screwed.
Once I got back to base, I was reminded again by my commander that I have a sanction. The next day I was told to go wait for my court trial (which is on the base) and after 5 minutes they said to join my tzevet for now and I would be called back later. Amazingly I never got called back, and nobody even mentioned anything to me about it. Lets just say I am very surprised to be home for the weekend.
So to summarize in short - I'm screwed. I can't try out for paratroopers, and can't be in Nahal. So it looks like I'm going to be making myself comfortable inside a Merkeva 4 TANK!Only 2 and a half more weeks left of this course before I have my second chance at the first day in the army.
Sunday through Tuesday was full of frustration like you wouldn't believe - not knowing what to do and trying my hardest to figure something out before the end of the week so I could somehow try out for paratroopers. Explaining my situation to countless people plenty of times and everyone responding the same to the question 'so basically I'm screwed, right?' without a word and a blank stare. If your going to have a shitty start to the week like me, it would only be fitting that it would also be raining cats and dogs - which is exactly what happened. This week is going to be much better (its virtually impossible for it not to be better), but it's going to be short and awesome (short = awesome) because I get the day off tomorrow to go to the bank, and we are going on a 2 day trip to Jerusalem, so the week ends Thursday late afternoon!
Tuesday was by far the most awesome day in the army so far. The day started out by us travelling to a different base right on the Lebanese border to check out some of the cool they they have - tanks, APCs, and a massive D9 bulldozer. After that we got to go up to a guard post and see the border with Lebanon - which was a small dirt road off in the near distance. After the fastest tour ever we were back on the bus before we knew it and off to our next destination - Emek Ha'bacha (Valley of Tears). During the Yom Kippur War in 1973 a famous battle took place there where Israel was outnumbered over 10 to one. Without nightvision, Israel managed to hold off the Syrian troops for 3 days and nights. With the leadership and heroism of Avigdor Kahalani, Israel was able to succeed in the battle. I had heard his story of the battle before, but today we got to hear it in person! It was awesome to hear him speak, but a bit frustrating becuase I didn't understand all of what he was saying.
Avigdor Kahalani
We then headed to Mt. Bental which used to be a base, but now it is a lookout point into Syria. In the picture its easy to make out where Israel ends and Syria begins: In the forefront - all the organized greenery is Israel, beyond that where there are some scattered trees used to be a Syrian city which now is no man's land. Beyond that, all the desert looking area would be Syria. Our last destination was the career fair. This was infinately more exciting than any university or job fair that I have ever been to. There were tables set up for the kravi (combat) units where we got tocheck out some cool toys. The army also put on a live demo with tanks and explosions and gunfire. Before the demo, Ehud Barak - the minister of Defense gave a speech and after the demo there was a concert! The entire event was awesome and a ton of fun because I had never seen a live demo like that before. Despite the demo, the pest part of the day was hearing from Avigdor Kahalani. Soon enough I will be blowing stuff up on my own, but its not so often I get to hear from a real war hero.
One of the tanks that took part in the demoDefense Minister Ehud Barak meeting with the soldiers after the demo.
The next day our pluga put on a play in rememberance of Michael Levin. He was an American from Philadelphia who came to Israel to serve in the IDF at the age of 18. When he came his hebrew was not so good so he was sent to do the same course I am doing now. He then joined the paratroop unit #890. During the summer of 2006 while on leave in the US, Michael heard of the news of the war in Lebanon and immediately flew back to Israel and demanded that he join his tzevet in Lebanon even though he was told he would not go to the front lines. A few days later, Michael was killed at the age of 22 by a sniper in Lebanon.
Sorry for the vagueness, but the following is only meant for those who understand it. I had my first krav maga (Israeli self defense) lesson since my first and only lesson, and this one went MUCH better :-D
I have 3 more weeks left before I join my combat unit. My plan was to do nahal - general infantry, but now I have decided to do the gibbush (tryout) tzanchanim (paratroopers) - tryouts to become a paratrooper. The tryouts are next Sunday and consists mostly of running, running with sand bags, running with stretchers, and crawling. If I don't get accepted to paratroopers then I will still be going to nahal like originally planned. Wish me luck!
Born and raised in Toronto, Canada. Graduated from the University of Waterloo with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. At the age of 24 I voluntarily served my country and my people as a lone soldier in the 188th brigade of the armored forces in IDF (Israel Defense Forces). On July 12, 2012 I made Aliyah and thus officially became an Israeli Citizen.
This blog is about my experiences as a combat soldier in the IDF and my experience as an Oleh Chadash (new immigrant)
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