I am a tankist!

So we finished the last week with our basic training and now we are starting the miktza'ot (profession) phase of training. This is where they tell us what position we will hold in the tank (driver, loader, gunner) and peach profession learn their job independently of the other two. Until now our pluga was broken down into 3 machlakot, now it has also been reshuffled to be broken down into the 3 streams of professions (megamot). Now we have the opportunity to work with the other people in the pluga. The mood in our megama is much more laid back because we have a bunch of jokers in it. A couple of guys like to talk to me in enlish because they think its funny and their english accent and grammer is hilarious. Also in all the classes we have we start by introducing ourselves where we are from and there is always an icebreaker type question (ex: what superpower would you want?, where do you want to go travelling after the army? etc.) People are usually really loud during this part laughing and interrupting, but when it comes to me everyone stops talking and is really quite. Why? - because just as I'm about to say I'm from Toronto, Canada everyone at once says it loudly trying to mock my accent, which is really really funny.

Thursday we had the ceremony in which the pluga commander tells us all our profession. The ceremony was really simple - we stood in formation in front of the tanks and the pluga commander calls your name, your respond and then he says your profession and then you leave to join your new group. Just like that, in a split second your army carreer is now laid out in front of you. There ceremony wasn't big, but it was a big deal because it means we have finally become tankists and now I know what I'm going to be for the remainder of my service. So what happens if you don't like your job? - 2 options: Learn to love it because your shit out of luck, or two become a commander where you get to learn all the professions and obviously now be the commander with different responsibilities.

So whats my profession? LOADER!!!! Which is exactly what I wanted, so needless to say I was very excited. Being the loader is the most important, physically difficult and demanding job in the tank. The loader is responsible for loading all the ammunition (and there is a LOT - see the next blog post for more on that)One tank has the firepower of about an entire machlakah of infantry (about 80 soldiers). The loader stands to the left of the commander, has the use of a machine gun (MAG) outside the tank where i can stick my head out and shoot to the left. The loader is also second in command if G-d forbid something happens to the commander. The job is the bussiest and there is always something to do.

After the ceremony we got a tour of the inside of the tank which was aweosme. The loader has room to move in the tank, unlike the gunner and driver who can't even stand up. I have room to stand easily without hitting my head but not enough room to get comfortable. The instant I stepped into the tank and put my foot on the ground the commander started yelling at me 'don't step there! Don't you ever think of crossing that line! Do you want to lose a limb?' He could have at least warned me before I got in the tank!

we now start learning in the classroom and practically on the tanks. Our first class was on the machine gun MAG) whic h we had already learned about before so at least I had some understanding of what the teacher was talking about. We started the class by introducing ourselves so I'm not sure what gave away the fact that I dno't speak Hebrew- my accent, poor grammer, worse vocabulary or the fact hat I said I was from Toronto, Canada, but somehow the teacher figured out that I wouldn't understand. After she explained one of the things she asked if everyone understood and looked directly at me. I smiled and nodded nope. Luckily ther were others as well. University has prepared me well for this situation in the fact that I have become used to not understanding a damn thing during the classes and the teachers not speaking english. However, there are a lot of differences - firstly I have to show up and stay awake all day, which is a lot harder than it sounds. The rest of the differences between learning in university and the army are positives: I'm learning practically about tanks and not theoretically about calculus or something more boring than that. And most importanlty, our teachers are not ugly old boring professors, but gorgeous 18-20 year old Israeli girls!

After the class I had a few qyestions. In the middle of her explaining to me how a solenoid valve works, I interrupted her and said I know how a solenoid valve works becuase I have a degree in mechanical engineering, I just have no idea what you said what connected to it! It seems that it will be easier to learn how to work a tankin Hebrew than it will be to learn Hebrew!

Now that we start working with tanks, we also start to guard tanks, which means guard duty twice as often, and now we are out in the cold in the middle of the night.

Living like a king

When I got back to base on Tuesday, the week was nearly half over. Instead of joining the rest of my pluga I joined in the middle of a week of ulpan (hebrew lessons). It was good to get a bunch of formal classes of hebrew as opposed to trying to learn it on the fly. The best part of the ulpan was that I lived like a king, and by king I mean jobnik. A jobnik as it sounds is someone in the army wthat has what can be compared to as a normal 9-5 job - only about 10% of the army is combat soldiers. Jobniks don't go through the same intensive training, they tend to sleep moer and even get to go home mostly every weekend if not every day. We were treated like real human beings. The people in charge of us were not commanders, so we could talk to them like normal people becuase there is no distance between them and us like there is with our commanders. They gave us a reasonable amount of time to do things - for example 20 minutest o do everything as opposed to breaking it down to (3.5 minutes to run and brush our teeth, then 4 minutes to run and shine our shoes, 4 minutes to shave, and 5 minutes to make our beds). They took away our guns because we don't need them when we sit in the classroom, so we didn't have to do guard duty and got to sleep 8 consecutive hours, whcih is practically an eternity. It's ironic that I got a better night sleep during the 2 days of ulpan than I did staying in a hotel with my parents for a week! My only responsibilities were to be in the classroom on time after the breaks and to stay awake all day , so it was kind of like a vacation. And the best part was that we were allowed to do as we pleased on our breaks including using our phones! So what was the downside to the ulpan? I missed out on the FUN stuff (yes I did say fun - read on). So I missed 3 hours of krav maga and getting gassed. What is getting gassed you ask? you stand in a tent with your gas mask on, they release the gas and you remove your mask. (Yes I did say fun stuff if it wasn't clear before). From what I heard it was obviousy horrible in the moment but awesome after it was all said and done.

The Milford Academy, Touring with the family and the hashba'ah

This week we had our survival week, or as the title says The Milford Academy - 'where children are neither seen nor heard'. If you don't get the joke, watch Arrested Development. If you have seen the show and still don't get the joke, shame on you. And yes, I have been waiting a long time to use this joke. We started by digging ourselves ditches so we can pitch our tents lower to the ground. The next day we did exercises with moving and communicating without speaking and creating lookout points where you are hidden. It was really interesting and a lot of fun.

After only one day of that they sent me back to base because on Tuesday I got to go home to meet my parents for the week.I ended up missing a game of capture the flag type game in the evening where each tzevet had to try and remain hidden from the others while trying to catch them. I also missed a 7+1 km masa. That means it was 7km plus 1km while carrying someone on a stretcher. I was upset that I had to miss those fun things but it was good that I got time off to see my parents and my uncle who came for Toronto to visit me.

When I got off base I went to meet my family in Eilat. There was not really much to do there, so we eneded up doing a boat cruise that had a glass bottom so you could see the coral and the fish. On Wednesday we made the long trip up from Eilat to Jerusalem with some stops to sight see along the way. I have seen a lot of Israel, but it was finally nice to check out some sites I had never seen before. We went to Mitzpe Ramon, which is a giant crater in the middle of the desert. I drive by there on my way to base, but I am always asleep, so I had never actually seen it. From there we went to Sde Boker which is where David Ben Gurion, Israel's first Prime Minister lived and is buried. After finishing with politics he decided to move to the kibbutz which is in the middle of nowhere in the desert. His focus was on the importance of the desert and the need to make the desert bloom in order to make Israel stable and successful. His house was preserved to the way it looked on the day that he died. Unfortunately I could not take pictures. From there we went to Jerusalem and spent over 2 hours getting lost and looking for a parking spot.

Ben Gurion's grave in Sde Boker

Thursday was my swearing in ceremony in Latrun, which is the armored corps museum and memorial. I had to show up in the morning so that we could practice standing still and the few different stances we need to be in. The one good thing about the ceremony was that it was short - only 45 minutes, and there was no marching involved. That saved a lot of practicing time considering it was a hot day. I didn't understand most of the speeches or what people were saying during the ceremony, but it was really meaningful to get sworn into the army as a combat soldier and especially to have my parents come from Toronto to see it. After the ceremony we got to take our gun home for the weekend which was awesome.

Me receiving my gun

The next day I took a tour of the Old City with my family. I was strutting around with uniform and my gun, so I felt quite good about myself. The one thing the army does not prepare us for is tourists. What do you do when I'm standing alone talking on the phone to a friend and some tourist stands 4 feet next to me and poses for a picture? Do I have to tell my friend to hold on a second while I take a picture, ignore the tourist, or take out a tip jar? Also, is it my job to know the name of the border crossing to Jordan just south of the King Hussein Bridge? And if that question wasn't hard enough, the follow up question was what time are they opened until and how much does it cost to cross? Do I tell him I don't know, say to him in Hebrew that I don't speak english, or say to him in perfect english 'How the heck should I know? I'm not from here either!'

I go back to the army on Tuesday, so I still have time off which is awesome. I'm going out to restaurants with my family, so I'm enjoying the good meals. I am excited to get back though because I get to find out what my job will be in the tanks. We now start our basic training with the tanks which will hopefully be very exciting. I'm stuck on base for shabbat, so my next update will be in 2 weeks.

Me and the Merkeva 3 (My new ride)

My foolproof plan to take over the world

With all the 'free' time I have while doing guard duty in the middle of the night in the field I have a lot of time to think. To review, when you guard you are allowed to do 2 things - stand and guard. I don't think your even allowed to think, but there is no definative way for them to check on that. So the title of this blog post kinda gives it away, but here is how I'm going to take over the world...



I'm starting my recruitment now, so if you would like to join me send me an email or a facebook message or something. What are the requirements? You have to be left handed - thats it. Sorry to the majority of the human race, but soon enough you will be under my control and there is nothing you can do about it. I know what your all thinking now and the answer is yes! There will be jobs for polar bears (they are all left handed). I don't know what yet, but give me a few more weeks of doing guard duty and I will think of something wicked awesome that polar bears can do.



Aside from the language the most difficult part of the army is using any piece of equipment because the army was designed for right handed people. When I got my M16 I asked for a left handed gun and they gave me one. What's the IDF's definition of a left handed gun? It's a right handed gun with an extra piece of metal sticking out of the side behind where the shell casings get rejected to make sure they dont hit me in the face. For righties their face is on the other side of the gun so they don't have this problem. I said to them 'what about everything else that is backwards this is just a right handed gun!' Their response was the IDF has no money and only in the USA do they have left handed guns. That excuse is the trump card and works in every situation, so I didn't have anything left to say because they were right. Not only are all the weapons backwards but also all the desks and most importantly can openers. In every battle ration we get a can opener and I can't use it because its made for righties. I have ot rely on other people to open the food so I can eat.



So what makes me think that a left handed army can take over the world? Lets take racket sports for example. Righties have a lot of trouble playing against lefties because lefties are uncommon and therefore righties don't have much time to practice against them. Righties are often baffled by the 'backwardsness' of how lefties play. On the other hand lefties understand how righties play and can also play against fellow lefties - thus advantage to the lefties. If I could redesign all the weapons and can openers for lefties and introduce some left handed strategies nobody would be prepared for us!

Sick in the field

So like all weeks, this week it was back to the field. Surprisingly to everyone but me I managed to learn the commands quite quickly. I never have problems memorizing things and it doesn't make a difference what it is or if I understand it. I even managed to learn it better and faster than most of the machlakah, which was a bit surprising to me. My samach (samal of the machlakah) was actually shocked to the point where he asked me how I managed to learn it so quickly. I even got to be the commander of the exercize, so I was the one giving the commands, which definately made it a lot more fun. I got to lead by giving the commands while the other 3 people pretty much only had to repeat after me.



I ended up getting sick in the field which is definately not fun at all. I had a fever one evening and when I woke up I felt like crap. They let me rest in the tent because I was freezing cold. At about 1030 when the sun was beating down on the tent I was inside with long underwear a long sleeve undershirt, my full uniform including my boots, a jacket, gloves a toque and a sleeping bag and I was still cold. They had decided that I had done enough sleeping (even though they woke me up numerous times throughout my napping) and told me to sit in the shade on a bench for the classes they were giving. They then told everyone else not to sit on the bench next to me. That was pretty much the best news they could have given me because that meant that they were most likely going to send me back to base, which they did a few hours later. This happened on Tuesday, and I only managed to feel better towards the end of Thursay - just in time to get ready to go home!



So how did I spend my New Years Eve? 6PM dinner. 7PM free time - called a few friends and got ready for bed. 8PM bedtime. 245AM I wake up and start getting ready to get off base. 4PM bus leaves base for Tel Aviv! The best part is that my parents came to Israel to visit me for 2 weeks. So I finally got to see them for the first time since I got to Israel 7.5 months ago. Next week I get a week off the army to be with my parents which is awesome!



I go back to base on Sunday for a couple of day of survival week before I get my holiday on Tuesday. Thursday I have my swearing in ceremony (call me for details if your in the area!!!) at Latrun and then I don't have to return to base until the following Tuesday!!!!

Tironut week 4: the MAG!

Sunday we took a day trip to Jerusalem. We went to Har Hertzl again. We were given pretty much the exact same tour so it was a bit boring considering I was just there a month ago, but it was more meaningful to be there now as a kravi soldier. Afterwards we went to the Kotel and a also had a scavenger hunt in the Old City, which was a lot of fun. Not so surprisingly I bumped into a friend of mine in the Old City who is visiting from the states. As we were standing in 2 lines waiting to walk to the next part of the tour I saw him walking down the stairs and said in a rush to my mefaked 'Mefaked, I know him! Can I go over there?' I was pissed off because he gave me literally 60 seconds to speak to my friends who I hadn't seen since the summer. A lot of my friends are in Israel for the December break and conveniently I'm stuck on base and can't visity any of them.



Monday it was back to the field to finish our last week at the shooting range. We had some pretty exciting and difficult exercizes - shooting with gas masks, running with the gas mask and then shooting while out of breath. We also started practicing walking while shooting; up until now all the shooting we have done has been in static positions. We started practicing for our exercize next week which involves 4 soldiers all moving through the field at once, giving commands and shooting while running and in static positions. We started practicing dry runs (without ammunition) and I can already tell that next week is going to be a lot of fun. However, I do have homework this weekend because I need to learn the commands. A lot of them involve Hebrew words I've never heard before so its pretty much like memorizing jibberish. Slowly but surely I'm learning the commands, but its still frustrating that I can do it, but I actually have to sit down and learn it.



We had another masa where we hiked back to the middle of nowhere (AKA the base). Surprisingly the field was a lot closer to base than I expected - every time we took the bus there I managed to pass out instantaneoulsy and it felt like I had a solid nap even though it was only a 10 minute drive. The hike was 6km in about 45 minutes and I had a lot of fun - it was an okay workout for me but still not difficult. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in my machlakah who is pumped up and excited to go on the masaot. Most of the people think I'm absolutely nuts (again, this is nothing new). I'm still upset that I'm not going to get a chance to do masaot like in infantry which are upwards of 50km. In shiryon our longest masa is only (yes, I did say only) 30km. Most of my machlaka was not only unexcited about the 6km masa, but petrified of it. After the masa we received the shiryon pin to put on our beret.



On Friday we spent the day cleaning and doing pushups because we were not running all the dime during our weekly misdar mefaked, where we have to clean all our equipment and our rooms. It's a lot easier mentally to do the cleaning when I know I'm going home the next day. But everyone was not energized because we were only halfway through our 2 weeks on base.



The best part of this week was definately the 20 or so bullets I fired with the machine gun (MAG). It was awesome - there was a lot of kickback with the gun pounding against your shoulder as you hold down the trigger. What a rush! In 2 weeks we finish with the basic training and start learning our job in the tank. I had to rank the 3 jobs based on which one I prefer. I'm not guaranteed to get the job I want but they say they take it into consideration. I ranked the jobs 1 - loader, 2 - gunner, 3 - driver. I want to be the loader because asside from the commander he has the most responsibility in the tank and is second in command. He is in charge of loading (duh) all the shells into the turret, communications and he has the use of a MAG out side the tank, so like the commander he can stick his head out of the tank. I also feel as though the driver has the coolest job if I could do it for about a week, but afterwards I would get bored.

Very random weekend

We woke up at 3AM in order to get home for the weekend!!! Left base at 430AM and ended up at home by 1PM. Before I got to the kibbutz I stopped off at the supermarket to buy food. As I was shopping some random person came up to me and asked me if I was a lone soldier and if I had a place to eat for shabbat. How did she know that I was a lone soldier who didn't have a place for shabbat? Well I kinda stick out like a sore thumb. A soldier doesn't really go shopping for food alone in uniform 4 hours before shabbat unless he really has to. If you know me, I only go shopping when I REALLY need to. I had no food, and therefore really needed to shop. I politely declined because my buddy Jon was visiting me on my kibbutz for the weekend. It's not uncommon for that to happen. People are really nice to soldiers.

After a long night of partying I actually decided to do something besides sit around and waste time on the internet. I haven't really ventured around the neighbourhood and I figured since someone came to visit me we should actually do something. I'm usually too tired and lazy to do anything. So just like that we decided to go for a hike up the Gilboa mountain. It had rained the day before so it was a bit muddy, but that still didn't stop us. There was nobody around and as we started walking through the farms to get to the base of the mountain there were 2 cars that passed us. Jon and I were both wearing AEPi t-shirts and the guy in the second car rolls down his window and yells AEPi!!! He was in AEPi in Vegas and a very hilarious and random encounter. At what point do these random encounters stop being random? It seems that every corner I turn I expect to bump into someone I have some sort of connection with. The hike was pretty awesome and long - 3 hours in total, but the view was definitely worth it!

My backyard! Thats my kibbutz to the left of my head.

Before we went on the hike I got a call from a friend, Dan who is in Israel on Birthright, but I was surprised to hear that it was a different friend on the phone, Cliel (an avid reader of Kaldors Korner I might add) who I didn't know was also here. So just like that I decided to go back to Jerusalem with Jon to meet up with them at night at Ben Yehuda Street. Whenever I go to Ben Yehuda Street or the Old City I am always on the lookout for people I know. There is rarely a time I go to those places and don't bump into someone I know. In fact, I get disappointed if I don't bump into someone I didn't expect to see. So not so surprisingly, I bumped into someone else that was on the birthright trip that I knew.

So that was my weekend of very random encounters. I'm sure I will bump into people again tomorrow when I tour Jerusalem.

Camping with the army

Sunday it was back into the field for 4 more days and 3 nights of more shooting. This was week 2 of 3 of shooting and we practiced the 3 shooting position - standing, kneeling and lying down. We also practices gun jams and changing magazines. We shoot from 25 and 50 meters during the day and do the eact same exercizes at night from the maximum distance we can see the target (appx. 15 meters). My shot is pretty good and I have been hitting the target most of the time. It takes time to get used to holding the very uncomfortable positions for a long time.

By the third day of Chanukah and being back in the field with shitty food I was really craving a sufganiyah (jelly donuts you eat on Chanukah). During Chanukah the army gives out sufganiyot but I didn't think that they were going to give it to us out in the field, but I was really fiending one. In the middle of the afternoon I suddenly saw an oasis in the desret - no it wasn't water, but the Chabadmobile with sufganiyot blasting hassidic music! We got a break from the day (we don't get breaks. EVER. PERIOD!) to eat sing and dance to Chanukah tunes. Kol hacavod כל הכבוד to Chabad for finding us in the middle of nowhere! It definately cheered up our day! The next day we got our sufganiyah from the army and the one from Chabbad were much better! We lit the Chanukah candles every night, and it was really cool to be lighting them in the field when it was pitch black with nothing around - only sand and stars.

We had another masa - this one 4km in 45 minutes and it was much easier than the one before because I wasn't carrying the 10L jerrycan of water on my back. After each masa we get add-ons to our uniform or our equipment - the first masa we got our gun, and now we got our tag to wear on our shoulders that signify what unit we are in. During the course at Mikve Alon I had the Education Corps tag and for the past 3 weeks I took a step backwards and was without a tag but now I have one signifying I'm in kravi so that is pretty awesome.

So whats it like going 'camping' with the army? Well its nothing like going camping for a weeknd with your buddies to sit by the lake drink beers and have a BBQ. You can't take your cellphone with you and ther eare obviously no showers so that means we really don't need an hour of free time every day. In the field we get half an hour - enough time to make your sleeping bag ready, brush your teeth and take a piss - aside from that there really isn't anything else to do when you can't even see anything. As usual, we get our 6 hours of non consecutive sleep (we have to do half an hour of guard duty throught the night). Our 18 hour days really do feel that long. Even meal time is no break - there are 20 vultures trying to eat from the same few cans of food and couple of loafs of bread. If we are lucky we will get half an hour to eat. There is always something to do and are never given any breaks. Fix this, clean that, move thos rocks, why are those kitbags and vests always out of order!?!?! During the day it gets quite hot, but at night it is FREEZING! We are totally out in the open so there are no building to block the wind, or fires to keep us warm. We sleep in 2 person tents and we make it fit 3 people for warmth.

We gave in our sleeping bags for real cleaning which was a real shame on the waste of water used to clean them. They were clean for about the 1.5 seconds while someone threw it from the truck and before it hit the sand. It would have been ideal for them to give us new ones when we returned to base, so we could use them but then again what the hell do I know? I'm only older than everyone and have a university degree, but I'm still the scum of the earth on the base because I'm just in basic training. The next day when we got back to base we got new sleeping bags again - again, a real shame on the water. Additionally, changing clothing is a complete waste of:

• time - spent looking for your clothing (especially in the dark) and changing while attempting to not drop your clothing into the sand.
• space - I can barely fit the things in my kitbag that I need, yet alone any extra clothing.
• water - used to clean the clothes ( there is a really bad water shortage in Israel, so its even more important to conserve)

On the one hand its a waste of a lot of resources to attempt to stay clean but it seems the only 2 things that really matter are that you are clean shaven and your boots are shined. Being clean shaven I'm willing to accept, but I think its absolutely ridiculous to be shining my black boots at 5AM in the dark when I can't even see them! Additionally after I take 2 steps or if there is a gust of wind my boots are dirty again! They say its all about discipline but I say its ridiculous. At least we only have to do it once a day. On base there are days when we have to fix our boots 4 or 5 times.

Until now, most of the time we have been carrying around our gun, it has prety much been a hunk of metal in the shape of a gun. It really isn't a gun yet if your not given any ammo. On Wednesday we were given a strap in which to secure a magazine to the side of the gun. So now we have the responsibility to carry around a gun and ammo all the time, not just a hunk of metal.

In 2 weeks my parent are coming to visit me, which is very exciting. I haven't seen them since I left for Israel 7 months ago. They are coming for my swearing into the army ceremony. I already had this ceremony as part of the ulpan course at Mikve Alon, but it's a much bigger deal and bigger event for combat soldiers. If your in the area (and by area I mean country) you should come and show your support for the shiryonairim of November 2009 who will be keeping Israe lsafe. It's also a great chance for you to see me and meet my parents. The ceremony is Thursday January 7th in Latrun. Call me for more details.

It has been a long 12 days on base, but finally I get my 2 day weekend before I spend another 12 days on base (most of it in the field again). We have a day trip to Jerusalem, one week at the shooting range and then the second week we start doing exercise in the open field - not at the range.

Once again, if you haven't already become a fan of my blog on facebook, here is the link http://facebook.com/kaldorskorner

First week of kravi basic training

Getting back to base was a pain in the ass. I had to run to the bank and therefore didn't have time to meet at the regular meeting place. I took 3 busses and 6 hours of travel to get to base. I stayed up too late Saturday taloking to friends back home (7 hrs behind) so I was exhaused all day (I'm constantly exhausted so not that this is any different). Since all the buses are always jam packed on Sunday mornings with all the soldiers returning to base, I couldn't get a seat on the last 2 legs of the trip so I was stuck in the aisle. The good thing is that it is socially acceptable for soldiers to lie down and sleep in the aisles of buses - in fact it was more comfortable because I could fully stretch out and use my backpack as a pillow.

Monday I made a new best friend - my gun. I take care of it, clean it, sleep with it under my mattress and take it everywhere with me (I don't get to take it off base just yet). Siryonairim (people in shiryon) get the M16 with the shortest barrel length so that there is room for it in the tank. It's much less awkward than the long M16 we got at Mikve Alon.

On Tuesday we went into the field for 3 days. The first day was spent mostly loading up the truck with everything we needed and setting up the campsite. We also spent a lot of time gathering rocks to make paths. It was really hot during the days and freezing cold at night. We had our first masa (hike) - it was a piece of cake and more like a 3km night medium paced walk through the desert. There were some people that were really struggling, but even with a 10L jerrycan of water on my back I wanted to go farther and faster. Afterwards there was a ceremony which officially starts our journey to becoming לוחמים (fighters). The rest of our time in the field was spent at the shooting range and eating shitty food. I blogged earlier about the shitty battle rations and the loof, but now we got better food. All the food is fresh - fresh right out of a can. We get canned tuna, pickles, corn disgusting rice something or other wrapped in vine leaves and drowned in oil, pineapples, chocolate spread, jam, ketchup, halva and bread. It's still shitty food, but the corn and pineapples are a big improvement on loof especially when we eat the stuff for every meal. It's no longer breakfast time/lunch time/ dinner time - its meal time. I was never much of a tuna fan to begin with, and its especially not tasty drenched in oil right of out the can. I was looking for ways to improve my sandwiches - with the limited combination available I have concluded that tuna, corn and chocolate sandwiches work best. Yes- everyone else was also wondering what the hel is wrong with me. Chocolate and pineapple sandwiches are amazing, but I found out that tuna and pineapple was an experiment gone terribly wrong.

I have also concluded that sandwiches were invented in the desert. If you put tuna on a piece of bread, you have a tuna sandwich, right? In this case you are subconsciously neglecting all the sand your eating. It's much easier to say your eating a tuna sandwhich than eating a tuna sand wich. Also the word wich could be confused for a question, as in tuna sand which? To make things clear, they are called sandwiches (or in hebrew sandviches). Additionally, if the sandwich was invented in a rainy area it would probably be called mudwiches. If your thinking I'm more crazy now after drawing this conclusion in my defense I'm writing this on shabbat on base where there is nothing to do. I'm not saying that I'm not crazy, but please take this into account. Basically the main point I'm trying tom ake is that there is sand EVERYWHERE!

We have a very back asswards way of 'cleaning' things. After coming back from the field late on Thursday night and were ready for bed. Instead of going to bed, we got the standard 7 minutes to change into our uniforms for what became a לילה לבן (white night - staying up all night) of cleaning our equipment, and pushups. So to clean our equipment we are given x minutes to clean a specific item and run to put it in our rooms. So here is where the back asswardness comes into play. We were given 4 minutes to clean our shovel and tent pegs and put them in our room (It takes 1.5-2 minutes to run to the room and back). The specific way of cleaning these items are with oil, which I think is a bit excessive and unnecessary when you take into account how we 'clean' our jacket, vest, backpack and kitbag. We were given 4 minutes to clean our kitbag with no specif orders on how to do it. I had enough time to smack it against the dirty wall and ground creating more dust and dirt before I realized I had to sprint to put it in my room. We spent 6 hours cleaning the equipment, rooms, running and pushups. We got breakfast and were sent to bed at 530AM. We woke up 6 hours later (because thats all the sleep we need, according to the army) and did our physical test (pushups, situps and a 2km run). After eating crappy food for 3 days and staying up all night doing a physical test was not what I wanted to do after only 6 hours of sleep at 1230 in the afternoon in the desert.

After a long hard week we lit the CHanukah candles for the first night of the holiday and went into Shabbat. This means that I have time to talk on my phone, listen to music, sleep and blog. There really isn't much else to do but its a great break from the week. the food on Shabbat is better than the regular days and much better than the battle rations. The best part of Shabbat is that they are not allowed to give us orders!

Welcome to kravi!!!

This week I joined kravi (combat) in shiryon (armored corps) and am now a lochem (fighter) in the IDF!!! Finally after six and a half months in the country I'm starting to do what I came here to do!

Okay, so I'll just answer the most important questions right off the bat, but this doesn't mean you can stop reading!
No I don't have a gun yet - I get it next week - the shortest M16.
No I don't get to take it home next week - only after basic training (3 months)
No I don't have a tank yet. In 3 months after basic training we start learning about the tank, until then its just general infantry training. But I will be in a Merkeva Mark 3 BAZ. There are 4 jobs in the tank (commander, driver, gunner, loader) and after basic training I get told what job in the tank I get.

So on Sunday I went back to bakum to trade in my red boots for black ones. After a week already it hurts to sit, stand, walk, run and even just to have my feet in the boots. My base is about 350 km from where I live and and about 60km from Eilat, which is as far south as you can get. It took me 6 hours to get home, and I think I made excellent timing. The living conditions have improve. I live in a ROOM with 9 people (I'm emphasizing the word room for all my friends in Nahal who now live in tents). Also we get air conditioning. I sleep on the bottom bunk of a bed that doesn't have a metal bar perpendicular to my body across the middle of my back. I have a personal light at my bed and an electrical outlet of my own. Additionally, the food is better.

Other than what seems to be the hotel like living conditions, it has been the past 3 months that now seem like a vacation. They take no bullshit anymore. When standing in formation you can't move an inch - sometimes for up to half an hour. Unexpectedly without knowing a mefaked will whisper very loudly in your ear from behind telling you to stop moving. At mikve alon we had mefakedets (female commanders as opposed to mefakeds which are male commanders) and they tried to act tough but they really weren't fooling anyone - they are too nice to be mean. Now I have a Samach (mefaked machlakah) who I don't think could crack a smile if his life depended on it.

In my machlakah of 29 I'm the only lone soldier and also the only one who doesn't speak fluent Hebrew (not that I'm anywhere near fluent). After a week my brain has been hurting from having to pay attention all the time to what they are saying. It's difficult to learn whats going on in the army and also to learn a language at the same time. It also doesn't help that they speak a mile a minute. Luckily I understand enough words in each sentence to know what going on through the context. I don't know what language they were speaking to me at Mikve Alon, but for arguments sake lets call it Hemilon (HEbrew at MIkve aLON) which seems to be a mix of easy hebrew words, english and slow talking. Everyone is helpful and tries to help me with my hebrew which is good. A few more weeks and I will really get the hang of the language. My mefaked seems to be a pretty chill guy and similar to me - he's also a lone soldier from Brazil and he said when he came he had a hard time with the language as well, so he seems to understand where I'm coming from.

I only get 6 hours of sleep now (compared to getting 7.5 hrs at mikve alon) and that interrupted sleep because on occasion we have to do 20 minutes - half an hour of guard duty during the middle of the night. Also my hour and a half of free time has now been shortened to an hour and in that time I have to shower, brush teeth, shine shoes, and organize the room for bedtime.

I also feel very old. I'm starting the army at 24, and I think I only had one conversation this week with someone older than me - the mefaked of the pluga, and even he might not be much older than I. Everyone has a private meeting with the commanders in order to meet them and introduce yourself. The mefaked pluga was in shock and baffled to find out that I'm just starting the army as a volunteer at 24 and that I already have a degree. At Mikve Alon I didn't really feel it because there were people like me who came to serve at an older age, but there aren't many or any in shiryon that I have encountered yet. My commanders are 21 and everyone in basic training like me is 18. Most people are shocked to find out im 24, but are still very helpful and nice.

Aside from getting adjusted to my new setting, the first week was pretty boring - equipment checks, learning how to do the day to day stuff like making our beds and keeping our rooms clean to their standards, meetings with the commanders, and other general 'welcome to the army' knowledge. They did however put on an awesome demo for us where a tank drove around and blew shit up - in 8 months I will be able to do the same!

So here is a bit of information on what I learned about the part of the army I have joined. I am in the 188th armored brigade, which is called barak (lightning). My brigade is part of the Northern Command, so after I finish with my training I will be stationed back up north with what I consider to be a more beautiful part of the country. I've barely even started yet, and I'm already sick of the sand! There is a lot of history within my brigade, as it has been involved in almost all the wars. During the Yom Kippur War in 1973, the brigade was nearly wiped out while defending the Golan Heights against the Syrians. In Operation Cast Lead almost one year ago the brigade was the first one to enter Gaza and the last one to leave. Two famous people that served in my brigade is Zvika Greengold who was awarded the medal of honor for his efforts in the Yom Kippur War, and also Gilad Shalit, who is still being held captive by Hamas who was captured in July of 2006.

Next week we get our guns, go out into the field to start training and I'm on base for Shabbat, so I'm there for the next 12 days. We have our basic training schedule, and between now and the end of February I only get off base for 6 Shabbats (thats assuming I don't screw up and am forced to stay as a punishment for one of them). Yea, my thoughts exactly - that sucks!!! So my next update will be in 2 weeks time and I'm sure I will have a lot to talk about.

חג שמח and happy Chanukah to everyone!