Our course ended on Tuesday and from Sunday-Tuesday we practiced for the ceremony. It was like being a part of a marching band - minus the band part - just marching. Left left left right left. It really sucks the life out of the fun of a ceremony when you have to practice marching and standing for probably a dozen hours. The entire time we had this big fat angry guy called the Rasar yelling at us when we would move an inch. The big finale of the ceremony was that we all marched into a formation of a menorah - every time we practiced it we would screw it up because someone new would join into the formation or someone would leave and it would screw everyone up.
As for the competition we won last week, the privilege we won was 20 minutes of crappy internet from the computer room on base - just about enough time to change my fbook status and message a few people. Tuesday morning we finally got to break distance with our commanders. For about the 4 hours between breaking distance and getting on the bus to go to bakum we had a lot of fun being able to joke around and talk normally to our commanders. The only crappy thing was that right after the ceremony we had a few minutes to say goodbye to our commanders and then we had to get on the bus to take us to bakum. The ceremony was surprisingly more fun that I expected it to be considering all the mind numbing marching we had practiced. As part of the ceremony the mefakedets took away our education corps tags, so now I'm back to square one looking like a nobody, which really really sucks.
So we get to bakum just in time for dinner. We then got our beds ready in our 10 person tents and got to go to bed. Bakum is the base where everyone goes on their first day to enlist and get all your equipment and most importantly find out exactly what unit you go to (you don't actually find out 100% until you get to bakum). Working at bakum is the army equivalent of working at the lost luggage department at the airport. They have no idea what is going on, everyone hates them, and they can never help you or do anything correctly. So here is a rundown of my very frustrating yet hilarious day at bakum.
The goal: have someone tell me that I am going to shiryon (armored corps [tanks]) and that I can go home and come back on Sunday when everyone else from shiryon is enlisting. Timeframe: leave the base at a reasonable hour while it is still light outside (before 5PM).
The story...
445AM wakeup. Get the tents in order, pick up garbage and clean the territory and eat breakfast. After that we grabbed our bags, they gave us numbers and we waited for them to call each group of numbers to go through the enlistment process.
930AM they start calling numbers. They grouped me with all the mahal nahal people (the volunteers that are going to the nahal infantry unit) which was what I was supposed to do if my medical profile would allow it. Our number is the last to be called. We keep waiting while everyone else has already left to other places to get equipment and do all sorts of other things. They bring us buckets soap and squeegees. Bathrooms. At this point it was clear they didn't know what the hell to do with us, and this was not what we had volunteered for. After finishing the bathrooms we came back and started throwing around a football for a good half an hour. The following pretty much sums up an hour of the day: someone asked the commander 'what do you mean you don't know what to do with us - have you never seen a volunteer before?' to which he answered 'nope'.
11AM they finally call everyone except for 4 people, including me. They told me I was going to see a doctor. Okay, maybe I can try and get my profile raised again. On the way to the doctor we stopped off by the katzin miyun where I got my name called. The katzin miyun is an enlistment officer; you get to speak to him and tell him where you want to serve in the army. They try and take that into consideration when placing you. Due to the nature of the mahal program we don't get to see a katzin miyun because by default we all go to nahal. Some guy came out with an envelope and started to explain to me what unit I am enlisting to and that I had to be back here at this date and this time. In the middle of his explanation I looked at the piece of paper and noticed that the unit was not shiryon but carakal. So in the middle of his first sentence I interrupted him and told him that I'm going to shiryon and that he has to go back and change it because I'm not speaking to him at all if he's holding a piece of paper that says my name and carakal on it. He immediately walks away and then I am taken to see a doctor and I don't encounter that fool again.
1230 I get to see a doctor. I tell him I want to raise my profile. He looks at the computer and says 'I see you've already gone through this conversation with a different doctor'. In short, I'm still shit out of luck. Now on to lunch - for such a horrible base, they seem to have the most amazing food. There were 4 different servings of meat. We were lucky to see 5 different servings of meat in a week at Mikve Alon!! My 5 meals at Bakum turned out to be the highlight of my stay there - yes - doing the math correctly I did not reach my goal and I had to stay at bakum for another night.
The rest of the day and evening was spent trying to speak to a katzin miyun. I explained my situation to them and they told me that the nahal people would call me to get on the bus. At that point I would tell them that I refuse to get on the bus and to demand to speak to the katzin miyun. Then I could come back to the office and ask to speak to one. I politely said lets cut the bullshit and save some time here and let me see the katzin! Short answer is that I have to follow procedures. So I called my friends who were already waiting with nahal. I found out where they were and went to speak to their officers to talk to them. They said they didn't have my name on a list so they weren't going to be calling me.
Back at the katzin minyun - I'm standing around in the waiting area with everyone else, and someone comes up to me and tells me to sit down. Normally I wouldn't care, and in fact I was thinking of sitting down, but I was bored and in the arguing mood. Some of my points included "no", "are you kidding me?", "1, 2, 3, ... (counting all the people still standing)", "what is this place, backwards? Never in 3 months have I been told to sit - always to stand!". And the following one works best (draws the most attention to you) if you say it loudly and start waving your arms frantically. "I will sit down when I get to speak to a katzin miyun. Why have I been in the army 3 months and still not seen a katzin miyun, etc. etc." His counterpoints are irrelevant to the story. I pretty much just went on a rant after he dared tell me to sit down.
Later in the afternoon... Now I'm really starting to get pissed off. Back to the katzin miyun office I argue with them some more through the window, and they tell me I will see one soon. I then demand to see the katzin and ask why I have been in the army for 3 months and I still haven't spoken to the katzin miyun! At this point they tell me again that I'm going to carakal. I told them not so politely for the last time I'm not going to carakal. I came from half way around the world to volunteer to be in infantry. I got screwed because of my profile, so if I can't be a fighter in nahal I want to be a fighter in shiryon. At this point everyone in the office stops what their doing and looks at me like I'm a moron. This was an odd request for them because not many people request to be put into tanks.
6pm. After plenty of arguing I finally got to see the katzin miyun. I tell him why I want to go to shiryon and he says I will have an answer in the morning. All I need to do is go to the office and ask someone to check it up on the computer. That's the point where I find out I'm suck in this horrible place for another night.
445AM wakeup. 515AM head to the kitchen to do kitchen duty. I inform my supervisor that I need to go to the katzin miyun office at 8 to check on my situation. 745 and 750 reminders. 8AM I ask permission to go and he says just 10 more minutes and we will be done. Small argument ensues, but I stay another 10 minutes. 810 - "I need ot go to the office now, you said..." No- we are almost done. 825 I start freaking out and causing a scene. I leave to go to the office get the good news that I'm going to shiryon and return to the kitchen in under 5 minutes. Was it really worth the trouble for my supervisor? 11AM - weekend!!!
Now that I know which unit I am going to I have to go back on Sunday when everyone else shows up to enlist.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Become a Fan of Kaldor's Korner
To quote a certain M. Wexler, have you ever thought that this blog is "something I'd want to be a fan of." Now this dream has become a reality. Not only can you become a fan of my blog, buts its 100% FREE!!! And don't tell me you don't like free stuff.
The fan page is on facebook and all you have to do is click here to access the page or search 'Kaldor's Korner' within facebook.
Thanks in advance for becoming a fan, because I know you all will and don't forget to invite your friends to become fans as well.
The fan page is on facebook and all you have to do is click here to access the page or search 'Kaldor's Korner' within facebook.
Thanks in advance for becoming a fan, because I know you all will and don't forget to invite your friends to become fans as well.
Last full week at Mikve Alon!!!
I forgot to mention last week that now I have been in Israel now for 6 months!!!! How time flies!
I just had my last full week at Mikve Alon. Next week all we have is our ceremony and on Tuesday they are driving us back to Bakum - which is where you go on your first day of the army. Apparently we spend a hell of a lot of time practicing for the ceremony and being bossed around by an angry fat guy called the Rasar. This week we pretty much wrapped up the course. We had our final classes, a competition between all the tzevets, and gave back all our equipment. This week was a bit crazy because whenever a course ends, people stop caring (that is under the assumption that some people actually started caring). Aside from the stupid people who are acting like idiots all the time, now it has been taken to a new level because we are finishing the course. It's frustrating at times, but now also quite funny some of the things people are starting to do.
We put on a show for the entire pluga displaying some culture from where we all came from. As I mentioned the course is for people who were not born in Israel and made aliyah or volunteering and their hebrew is not that good. So there were people from literally all over the world - North, Central and South America, Europe, South Africa, Australia, Russia, India and even the Phillipenes. Some of the skits were informative, others hilarious, and some downright violent (and I'm not talking about us Canadians playing hockey). The people from the countries that end in 'stan from the former USSR explained and demonstrated the best way to kidnap a soon to be wife. The Americans sung and danced. The French put on a skit where 2 American tourists were taking a tour through Paris. Then all of a sudden they got mugged by hoodlums who pretended to beat them up. The only problem was that one of the 'American tourists' that pretended to get hit in the face didn't get up from the floor because he got punched and blood was running from his nose like a faucet. Luckily he was okay, but if it wasn't for that incident our skit from Canada would have been the funniest. I don't think anyone has a video of the kid getting knocked in the face, which is unfortunate. Lots of people were video-ing the skits but once the french started their skit everyone figured it wasn't worth wasting the battery power on it so people turned off the cameras. What a shame. So once again my internet is being a pain in the ass and I can't upload the video that we did on Canada, which was actually quite hilarious. I will have to look into it again later.
We had a physical competition between all the tzevets which was a lot of fun. We didn't know what we had to do, but there were multiple sections to the competition. The first thing we had to do was run about 400 meters with someone on the stretcher. The next part of the competition was that we had to crawl about 30 meters, and between the tzevet finish a 10 liter jerry can of water (there were 8 of us in the tzevet) then we had to eat 3 cans of loof. To remind you, loof is one of the menu items on the battle rations. One of my cousins brings the loof back to his mother who then feeds it to the stray cats. The stuff tastes like shit - think kosher spam. So in the attempt to stomach the loof after drinking far too much water far too fast, I found out that tasting loof can self induce vomiting. The instant the loof touched my tongue everything came back up. Eating loof can be a good alternative to sticking your fingers down your throat. I did manage to stomach some of the loof, but note easily. Leg 3 was to carry 4 tzevet members about 100 meters using 3 people, where one person grabs the legs, and the other two each grab and arm. To finish it all off, leg 4 was an endurance competiton of who can hold themselves up in the bridge position (forearms and toes are the only things on the ground) for the longest. Most people dropped out in the 5-7 minute range, but the competition ended after 15 minutes where a few people were still hanging in there, with one guy, Chris practically lying in his own vomit. Quite the intense competition. The commanders were watching and laughing while the majority of people were puking up all that water and loof we had drank throughout the competition. Minus the loof and too much water, the competition was fun and everyone enjoyed the healthy competition - pardon the pun.
We had another competition between the tzevets on what we had learnt in our Zionism classes. We had to run from place to place around the base and answer questions. I figured this would be a piece of cake, and that hands down I would take the competition. At every station a different mefakedet was waiting to give us the question - or at least they were supposed to be. In short, two instances we got to where the mefakedet was supposed to be before her. This led us to running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find her. This led us not only into the dining room, but into the actual kitchen where we got evil eyed by the sweet old lunch ladies. Also, the same mefakedet caused me to nearly flip out on her because she told me my answer was wrong when I knew it was 100% right and then spent the next 10 minutes trying to think of the correct answer - the exact answer I gave the first time. All this bullshit led my tzevet to lose the challenge by a minute as opposed to crushing everyone by 10 minutes. Unlike the prize for the physical competion, which was junk food - not something good to eat after puking your guts out, this prize was a surprise privaledge. So I was very pissed off to find out that we lost. We disputed the fact that we should have won, so in the end they said both of our teams won. So now we have to wait until next week to find out what we won, but hopefully its something good.
We gave back all our stuff that they had given us - our bet uniform (the stuff you wear on base and get dirty), vest, dissease infested blankets (scabias) and our canteens. It was very liberating to walk around without a canteen considering it was the second most important thing we had in our possessions - next to the gun.
I'm really excited that the course is almost over and I can finally go to my combat unit. I'm pretty sure I get off from the army on Wednesday so I get some days off beforehand. Another thing everyone has been looking forward to is breaking distance. That means that we actually get to speak to our commanders like real people. For 3 months we have to call them by their rank, and we don't know anything about them. On occasion we dig up information like 'I saw so and so on a bus heading home' or 'I saw their name written on their backpack', etc. So at the end of the course they actually introduce themselves and we get to meet the people behind the job. Its sad that the course is over and now everyone is going to their own units. I only know one other person who is also going to tanks, so its going to be a fresh start. It's going to be good to get away from all the morons on the base, but I am nearly 100% positive they will be replaced by other morons.
I just had my last full week at Mikve Alon. Next week all we have is our ceremony and on Tuesday they are driving us back to Bakum - which is where you go on your first day of the army. Apparently we spend a hell of a lot of time practicing for the ceremony and being bossed around by an angry fat guy called the Rasar. This week we pretty much wrapped up the course. We had our final classes, a competition between all the tzevets, and gave back all our equipment. This week was a bit crazy because whenever a course ends, people stop caring (that is under the assumption that some people actually started caring). Aside from the stupid people who are acting like idiots all the time, now it has been taken to a new level because we are finishing the course. It's frustrating at times, but now also quite funny some of the things people are starting to do.
We put on a show for the entire pluga displaying some culture from where we all came from. As I mentioned the course is for people who were not born in Israel and made aliyah or volunteering and their hebrew is not that good. So there were people from literally all over the world - North, Central and South America, Europe, South Africa, Australia, Russia, India and even the Phillipenes. Some of the skits were informative, others hilarious, and some downright violent (and I'm not talking about us Canadians playing hockey). The people from the countries that end in 'stan from the former USSR explained and demonstrated the best way to kidnap a soon to be wife. The Americans sung and danced. The French put on a skit where 2 American tourists were taking a tour through Paris. Then all of a sudden they got mugged by hoodlums who pretended to beat them up. The only problem was that one of the 'American tourists' that pretended to get hit in the face didn't get up from the floor because he got punched and blood was running from his nose like a faucet. Luckily he was okay, but if it wasn't for that incident our skit from Canada would have been the funniest. I don't think anyone has a video of the kid getting knocked in the face, which is unfortunate. Lots of people were video-ing the skits but once the french started their skit everyone figured it wasn't worth wasting the battery power on it so people turned off the cameras. What a shame. So once again my internet is being a pain in the ass and I can't upload the video that we did on Canada, which was actually quite hilarious. I will have to look into it again later.
We had a physical competition between all the tzevets which was a lot of fun. We didn't know what we had to do, but there were multiple sections to the competition. The first thing we had to do was run about 400 meters with someone on the stretcher. The next part of the competition was that we had to crawl about 30 meters, and between the tzevet finish a 10 liter jerry can of water (there were 8 of us in the tzevet) then we had to eat 3 cans of loof. To remind you, loof is one of the menu items on the battle rations. One of my cousins brings the loof back to his mother who then feeds it to the stray cats. The stuff tastes like shit - think kosher spam. So in the attempt to stomach the loof after drinking far too much water far too fast, I found out that tasting loof can self induce vomiting. The instant the loof touched my tongue everything came back up. Eating loof can be a good alternative to sticking your fingers down your throat. I did manage to stomach some of the loof, but note easily. Leg 3 was to carry 4 tzevet members about 100 meters using 3 people, where one person grabs the legs, and the other two each grab and arm. To finish it all off, leg 4 was an endurance competiton of who can hold themselves up in the bridge position (forearms and toes are the only things on the ground) for the longest. Most people dropped out in the 5-7 minute range, but the competition ended after 15 minutes where a few people were still hanging in there, with one guy, Chris practically lying in his own vomit. Quite the intense competition. The commanders were watching and laughing while the majority of people were puking up all that water and loof we had drank throughout the competition. Minus the loof and too much water, the competition was fun and everyone enjoyed the healthy competition - pardon the pun.
We had another competition between the tzevets on what we had learnt in our Zionism classes. We had to run from place to place around the base and answer questions. I figured this would be a piece of cake, and that hands down I would take the competition. At every station a different mefakedet was waiting to give us the question - or at least they were supposed to be. In short, two instances we got to where the mefakedet was supposed to be before her. This led us to running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find her. This led us not only into the dining room, but into the actual kitchen where we got evil eyed by the sweet old lunch ladies. Also, the same mefakedet caused me to nearly flip out on her because she told me my answer was wrong when I knew it was 100% right and then spent the next 10 minutes trying to think of the correct answer - the exact answer I gave the first time. All this bullshit led my tzevet to lose the challenge by a minute as opposed to crushing everyone by 10 minutes. Unlike the prize for the physical competion, which was junk food - not something good to eat after puking your guts out, this prize was a surprise privaledge. So I was very pissed off to find out that we lost. We disputed the fact that we should have won, so in the end they said both of our teams won. So now we have to wait until next week to find out what we won, but hopefully its something good.
We gave back all our stuff that they had given us - our bet uniform (the stuff you wear on base and get dirty), vest, dissease infested blankets (scabias) and our canteens. It was very liberating to walk around without a canteen considering it was the second most important thing we had in our possessions - next to the gun.
I'm really excited that the course is almost over and I can finally go to my combat unit. I'm pretty sure I get off from the army on Wednesday so I get some days off beforehand. Another thing everyone has been looking forward to is breaking distance. That means that we actually get to speak to our commanders like real people. For 3 months we have to call them by their rank, and we don't know anything about them. On occasion we dig up information like 'I saw so and so on a bus heading home' or 'I saw their name written on their backpack', etc. So at the end of the course they actually introduce themselves and we get to meet the people behind the job. Its sad that the course is over and now everyone is going to their own units. I only know one other person who is also going to tanks, so its going to be a fresh start. It's going to be good to get away from all the morons on the base, but I am nearly 100% positive they will be replaced by other morons.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Army trip to Jerusalem
I was supposed to get the day off on Sunday to go to the bank, but at the last minute I was told I had to return to base on Sunday because I had to take an important hebrew test on Monday, but that I could go home on Monday and return Tuesday to take my day off. This was a real pain in the ass because I wouldn't get my entire day free. Going to the bank would only take me about an hour, and the rest of the day I could relax and do nothing - but the army screwed that all up. So Sunday was a complete waste of a day where we did nothing - which included waiting 2 hours at our meeting point for the army bus to take us to base. This wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't between 11AM-1PM: lunch time. Monday I was just itching all day waiting to go home. I figured I would have the hebrew test early in the morning and at the latest grab an early lunch on base and then leave. Well I didn't have the test until after lunch, and on top of that they remembered that I needed to have a court case because I went AWOL. So I didn't get to leave base until 3PM. This pissed me off because had I taken Sunday off i would have been back on base in time for both my court case and my hebrew test! On top of that, when I returned to base on Tuesday there was also time to have my hebrew test! For most of my day off I was planning on doing nothing - but because my day off was in the middle of the week and it felt like more of a pain. I spent more than half of my 2 half days either sleeping or travelling to and from base. So when I finally got back to base on Tuesday I waited for everyone else to have their hebrew test and then wasted the rest of the day away. Wednesday and Thursday we had a trip to Jerusalem, so that made the week very easy and short (we ended the week on Thursday evening, so we didn't have to return to base!)
So court was interesting - I explained my situation and then I basically got chewed out. I got off really easy - only with a warning, so I got lucky. I guess being a good soldier for 3 months finally paid off. So now on to the trip to Jerusalem. I was excited to go on this trip because doing anything aside from being on base is fun. Also I was excited to tour Jerusalem from a different perspective this time - not tourist, but soldier. Our first stop was Yad Vashem - the holocaust museum. We got a tour in English!!! The way the army works is that if you don't understand something they will explain it to you in english in all situation except one - if you are on our base. I was surprised that they didn't force us to have tours in hebrew, however, if there is only one thing in the past 3 months that we needed to understand 100%, this was it.
Next we went to Har Hertzl - which is the miltiary cemetary. In addition to soldiers, Presidents and Prime Ministers are also burried there. At the pinnacle of the cemetary is the grave of Theodore Hertzl - the man who created the idea of Zionism and the need for Jews to return to the land of Israel. In addition to Hertzl's grave we also visited the graves of Yitzhak Rabin (Prime Minister who was assasinated 14 years ago for his peace efforts), Golda Meir (Israel's first female Prime Minister), Chana Szenes (Jewish female Hungarian paratrooper who was captured and killed in Yugoslavia on a mission during WW2), Michael Levin (Paratrooper killed in action in the Second Lebanon War - more on him on previous blog posts), and a Memorial for terrorist victims. One story we were told was one of the worst situations ever. Yuval Harel from a community in Jerusalem called Talpiyot was killed during the First Lebanon War in 1982. Officer's arrived at the soldier's house to tell his family that he had been killed. While the officers were talking about Yuval the parents were in shock and thinking this isn't my son. Yuval was killed by a bullet to the head and his parents couldn't understand how this could happen and why he would get outside of his tank. Only when the officer was saying how Yuval loved being a paratrooper did they know that it wasn't thier son. Having made an honest mistake the officers left and drove to Yuval Harel's house in Talpiyot to break the bad news to his family - yes, same name, same community. It gets worse. Two days later the officers returned to Yuval Harel's house - the one in the tank and told his parents that this time they did not make a mistake. Yuval Harel from Talpiyot is burried 2 graves away from Yuval Harel from Talpiyot. Having been to the cemetary before, It's hard to describe the feeling being there as a soldier.
Hertzl's grave
After Har Hertzl, we were running behind schedule, so we travelled almost an hour to spent 20 minutes at mini Israel - a miniature version of the entire county. It was fun, but not nearly enough time there.
Thursday we went to Ammunition Hill. A very hard battle took place there in the 6 Day War in 1967. The 66th Paratrooper brigade was tasked with taking the hill. Each third of the brigade was to take the hill through one of the 3 trenches. A mistake was made and nobody took the eastern trench. This mistake needless to say was deadly - 37 Israeli soldiers were killed in the mission to take the hill. We did a little demonstartion to show how hard the battle was. Half of our machlakah was sent to the bottom of the trench, the other half to the top. We were instructed to switch places as fast as we can. The trenches are wide enough for exactly one person to stand. So 60 people have to pass each other where the path is only wide enough for one person, and on top of that you have to crouch down because if you stand upright your head is sticking out, which means your dead. It wasn't easy, and on top of that we didn't have bulky vests with large M16 guns with the dead and wounded literally on the ground in the trenches. This battle was really one of the hardest battles of the war.
Wearing tefilin at the kotel
So court was interesting - I explained my situation and then I basically got chewed out. I got off really easy - only with a warning, so I got lucky. I guess being a good soldier for 3 months finally paid off. So now on to the trip to Jerusalem. I was excited to go on this trip because doing anything aside from being on base is fun. Also I was excited to tour Jerusalem from a different perspective this time - not tourist, but soldier. Our first stop was Yad Vashem - the holocaust museum. We got a tour in English!!! The way the army works is that if you don't understand something they will explain it to you in english in all situation except one - if you are on our base. I was surprised that they didn't force us to have tours in hebrew, however, if there is only one thing in the past 3 months that we needed to understand 100%, this was it.
Next we went to Har Hertzl - which is the miltiary cemetary. In addition to soldiers, Presidents and Prime Ministers are also burried there. At the pinnacle of the cemetary is the grave of Theodore Hertzl - the man who created the idea of Zionism and the need for Jews to return to the land of Israel. In addition to Hertzl's grave we also visited the graves of Yitzhak Rabin (Prime Minister who was assasinated 14 years ago for his peace efforts), Golda Meir (Israel's first female Prime Minister), Chana Szenes (Jewish female Hungarian paratrooper who was captured and killed in Yugoslavia on a mission during WW2), Michael Levin (Paratrooper killed in action in the Second Lebanon War - more on him on previous blog posts), and a Memorial for terrorist victims. One story we were told was one of the worst situations ever. Yuval Harel from a community in Jerusalem called Talpiyot was killed during the First Lebanon War in 1982. Officer's arrived at the soldier's house to tell his family that he had been killed. While the officers were talking about Yuval the parents were in shock and thinking this isn't my son. Yuval was killed by a bullet to the head and his parents couldn't understand how this could happen and why he would get outside of his tank. Only when the officer was saying how Yuval loved being a paratrooper did they know that it wasn't thier son. Having made an honest mistake the officers left and drove to Yuval Harel's house in Talpiyot to break the bad news to his family - yes, same name, same community. It gets worse. Two days later the officers returned to Yuval Harel's house - the one in the tank and told his parents that this time they did not make a mistake. Yuval Harel from Talpiyot is burried 2 graves away from Yuval Harel from Talpiyot. Having been to the cemetary before, It's hard to describe the feeling being there as a soldier.
Hertzl's graveAfter Har Hertzl, we were running behind schedule, so we travelled almost an hour to spent 20 minutes at mini Israel - a miniature version of the entire county. It was fun, but not nearly enough time there.
Thursday we went to Ammunition Hill. A very hard battle took place there in the 6 Day War in 1967. The 66th Paratrooper brigade was tasked with taking the hill. Each third of the brigade was to take the hill through one of the 3 trenches. A mistake was made and nobody took the eastern trench. This mistake needless to say was deadly - 37 Israeli soldiers were killed in the mission to take the hill. We did a little demonstartion to show how hard the battle was. Half of our machlakah was sent to the bottom of the trench, the other half to the top. We were instructed to switch places as fast as we can. The trenches are wide enough for exactly one person to stand. So 60 people have to pass each other where the path is only wide enough for one person, and on top of that you have to crouch down because if you stand upright your head is sticking out, which means your dead. It wasn't easy, and on top of that we didn't have bulky vests with large M16 guns with the dead and wounded literally on the ground in the trenches. This battle was really one of the hardest battles of the war.
We took a tour of the Old City which culminated with the singing of Hatikva at the Kotel as part of a little ceremony with our entire pluga (company) of about 150 soldiers. Having been to the Kotel countless times in my life, this time was obviously more special. To visit the holiest place in the world tasked with the job of defending it and everything Judaism stands for is a feeling that can't be put into words. All I can say is that it has been over two thousand years since someone from my bloodline was standing where I was with the same mission: defending Israel and the Jewish people.
Wearing tefilin at the kotelSaturday, November 7, 2009
Going AWOL
Sunday I had a doc appointment to actually get my medical profile raised so I can do infantry. I have been waiting a month and a half for this appointment. Long story short - the doc said no and I'm screwed. This means I can't try out for paratroopers, be in Nahal or any other infantry unit. So with only a week left before the paratrooper tryout I had to find a way to see another doc to raise my profile. Monday I was supposed to have the day off to take care of business but I came back to the base instead to see what else I could do to get my profile raised. Long story short I'm SOL - shit out of luck. So my last option was to take matters into my own hands. So right before bedtime I decided I was going to go to the army enlistment office in Tel Aviv the next day to try and see a doctor. FYI - like most things, you need an appointment and can't just go there. So when I woke up on Tuesday I told my mefakedet where I was going. After a brief discussion where she said 'no', and 'you know this is a sanction' I said goodbye, walked off the base and went AWOL (absent without leave). So 3 hours later I'm off the train in Tel Aviv and I don't exactly know which bus to take and where exactly to go once I get off the bus.
Aside: now is probably an acceptable time to call me crazy. If you thought I was crazy before this blog post you can probably upgrade me (or downgrade - depending on your perspective) to f-ing crazy.
So I asked one soldier for directions. He said to follow him because he was going to the same place. We started talking and he happened to be an officer on my base. I explained my situation to him and he asked me for the doctors note and he would help me find the place. Well, I didn't have papers because I didn't have an appointment or permission to leave base. So he called my officers and found out my scoop and gave me an ultimatum. He said he would do everything he could to help me see a doc on the condition that I return to the base with him at the end of the day or best of luck to me on my own.
So here was my thought process: If I go with him, my hands are tied and all I can do is hope that he is able (and truly willing) to help me. On the other hand, I didn't have a concrete plan on getting back to base - the last bus was at 730PM and I didn't know if I would make it in time considering I had to take 2 busses and a train in order to catch that bus. I also realized I needed someone to help me at some point throughout my troubles so why turn down the help now, at the beginning of the day? Thirdly choosing to go with him would probably help my case once I got back to base.
Fast forward 5 hours - I finally spoke to someone. She was the Mamag of my base (2nd or 3rd from the top) who also just happened to be at this other base. She made some phonecalls and said she would try and get me another appointment, but in short I'm screwed.
Once I got back to base, I was reminded again by my commander that I have a sanction. The next day I was told to go wait for my court trial (which is on the base) and after 5 minutes they said to join my tzevet for now and I would be called back later. Amazingly I never got called back, and nobody even mentioned anything to me about it. Lets just say I am very surprised to be home for the weekend.
So to summarize in short - I'm screwed. I can't try out for paratroopers, and can't be in Nahal. So it looks like I'm going to be making myself comfortable inside a Merkeva 4 TANK!Only 2 and a half more weeks left of this course before I have my second chance at the first day in the army.
Sunday through Tuesday was full of frustration like you wouldn't believe - not knowing what to do and trying my hardest to figure something out before the end of the week so I could somehow try out for paratroopers. Explaining my situation to countless people plenty of times and everyone responding the same to the question 'so basically I'm screwed, right?' without a word and a blank stare. If your going to have a shitty start to the week like me, it would only be fitting that it would also be raining cats and dogs - which is exactly what happened. This week is going to be much better (its virtually impossible for it not to be better), but it's going to be short and awesome (short = awesome) because I get the day off tomorrow to go to the bank, and we are going on a 2 day trip to Jerusalem, so the week ends Thursday late afternoon!
Aside: now is probably an acceptable time to call me crazy. If you thought I was crazy before this blog post you can probably upgrade me (or downgrade - depending on your perspective) to f-ing crazy.
So I asked one soldier for directions. He said to follow him because he was going to the same place. We started talking and he happened to be an officer on my base. I explained my situation to him and he asked me for the doctors note and he would help me find the place. Well, I didn't have papers because I didn't have an appointment or permission to leave base. So he called my officers and found out my scoop and gave me an ultimatum. He said he would do everything he could to help me see a doc on the condition that I return to the base with him at the end of the day or best of luck to me on my own.
So here was my thought process: If I go with him, my hands are tied and all I can do is hope that he is able (and truly willing) to help me. On the other hand, I didn't have a concrete plan on getting back to base - the last bus was at 730PM and I didn't know if I would make it in time considering I had to take 2 busses and a train in order to catch that bus. I also realized I needed someone to help me at some point throughout my troubles so why turn down the help now, at the beginning of the day? Thirdly choosing to go with him would probably help my case once I got back to base.
Fast forward 5 hours - I finally spoke to someone. She was the Mamag of my base (2nd or 3rd from the top) who also just happened to be at this other base. She made some phonecalls and said she would try and get me another appointment, but in short I'm screwed.
Once I got back to base, I was reminded again by my commander that I have a sanction. The next day I was told to go wait for my court trial (which is on the base) and after 5 minutes they said to join my tzevet for now and I would be called back later. Amazingly I never got called back, and nobody even mentioned anything to me about it. Lets just say I am very surprised to be home for the weekend.
So to summarize in short - I'm screwed. I can't try out for paratroopers, and can't be in Nahal. So it looks like I'm going to be making myself comfortable inside a Merkeva 4 TANK!Only 2 and a half more weeks left of this course before I have my second chance at the first day in the army.
Sunday through Tuesday was full of frustration like you wouldn't believe - not knowing what to do and trying my hardest to figure something out before the end of the week so I could somehow try out for paratroopers. Explaining my situation to countless people plenty of times and everyone responding the same to the question 'so basically I'm screwed, right?' without a word and a blank stare. If your going to have a shitty start to the week like me, it would only be fitting that it would also be raining cats and dogs - which is exactly what happened. This week is going to be much better (its virtually impossible for it not to be better), but it's going to be short and awesome (short = awesome) because I get the day off tomorrow to go to the bank, and we are going on a 2 day trip to Jerusalem, so the week ends Thursday late afternoon!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Best career day EVER.
Tuesday was by far the most awesome day in the army so far. The day started out by us travelling to a different base right on the Lebanese border to check out some of the cool they they have - tanks, APCs, and a massive D9 bulldozer. After that we got to go up to a guard post and see the border with Lebanon - which was a small dirt road off in the near distance. After the fastest tour ever we were back on the bus before we knew it and off to our next destination - Emek Ha'bacha (Valley of Tears). During the Yom Kippur War in 1973 a famous battle took place there where Israel was outnumbered over 10 to one. Without nightvision, Israel managed to hold off the Syrian troops for 3 days and nights. With the leadership and heroism of Avigdor Kahalani, Israel was able to succeed in the battle. I had heard his story of the battle before, but today we got to hear it in person! It was awesome to hear him speak, but a bit frustrating becuase I didn't understand all of what he was saying.
Avigdor Kahalani
We then headed to Mt. Bental which used to be a base, but now it is a lookout point into Syria. In the picture its easy to make out where Israel ends and Syria begins: In the forefront - all the organized greenery is Israel, beyond that where there are some scattered trees used to be a Syrian city which now is no man's land. Beyond that, all the desert looking area would be Syria.
Our last destination was the career fair. This was infinately more exciting than any university or job fair that I have ever been to. There were tables set up for the kravi (combat) units where we got tocheck out some cool toys. The army also put on a live demo with tanks and explosions and gunfire. Before the demo, Ehud Barak - the minister of Defense gave a speech and after the demo there was a concert! The entire event was awesome and a ton of fun because I had never seen a live demo like that before. Despite the demo, the pest part of the day was hearing from Avigdor Kahalani. Soon enough I will be blowing stuff up on my own, but its not so often I get to hear from a real war hero.
One of the tanks that took part in the demo
Defense Minister Ehud Barak meeting with the soldiers after the demo.
The next day our pluga put on a play in rememberance of Michael Levin. He was an American from Philadelphia who came to Israel to serve in the IDF at the age of 18. When he came his hebrew was not so good so he was sent to do the same course I am doing now. He then joined the paratroop unit #890. During the summer of 2006 while on leave in the US, Michael heard of the news of the war in Lebanon and immediately flew back to Israel and demanded that he join his tzevet in Lebanon even though he was told he would not go to the front lines. A few days later, Michael was killed at the age of 22 by a sniper in Lebanon.
Sorry for the vagueness, but the following is only meant for those who understand it. I had my first krav maga (Israeli self defense) lesson since my first and only lesson, and this one went MUCH better :-D
I have 3 more weeks left before I join my combat unit. My plan was to do nahal - general infantry, but now I have decided to do the gibbush (tryout) tzanchanim (paratroopers) - tryouts to become a paratrooper. The tryouts are next Sunday and consists mostly of running, running with sand bags, running with stretchers, and crawling. If I don't get accepted to paratroopers then I will still be going to nahal like originally planned. Wish me luck!
more pictures here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2266669&id=122600898&l=16c1a3d6d0
still trying to upload the video of the tank demo. note to self: patience. damn you internet!
Avigdor KahalaniWe then headed to Mt. Bental which used to be a base, but now it is a lookout point into Syria. In the picture its easy to make out where Israel ends and Syria begins: In the forefront - all the organized greenery is Israel, beyond that where there are some scattered trees used to be a Syrian city which now is no man's land. Beyond that, all the desert looking area would be Syria.
Our last destination was the career fair. This was infinately more exciting than any university or job fair that I have ever been to. There were tables set up for the kravi (combat) units where we got tocheck out some cool toys. The army also put on a live demo with tanks and explosions and gunfire. Before the demo, Ehud Barak - the minister of Defense gave a speech and after the demo there was a concert! The entire event was awesome and a ton of fun because I had never seen a live demo like that before. Despite the demo, the pest part of the day was hearing from Avigdor Kahalani. Soon enough I will be blowing stuff up on my own, but its not so often I get to hear from a real war hero.
One of the tanks that took part in the demo
Defense Minister Ehud Barak meeting with the soldiers after the demo.The next day our pluga put on a play in rememberance of Michael Levin. He was an American from Philadelphia who came to Israel to serve in the IDF at the age of 18. When he came his hebrew was not so good so he was sent to do the same course I am doing now. He then joined the paratroop unit #890. During the summer of 2006 while on leave in the US, Michael heard of the news of the war in Lebanon and immediately flew back to Israel and demanded that he join his tzevet in Lebanon even though he was told he would not go to the front lines. A few days later, Michael was killed at the age of 22 by a sniper in Lebanon.
Sorry for the vagueness, but the following is only meant for those who understand it. I had my first krav maga (Israeli self defense) lesson since my first and only lesson, and this one went MUCH better :-D
I have 3 more weeks left before I join my combat unit. My plan was to do nahal - general infantry, but now I have decided to do the gibbush (tryout) tzanchanim (paratroopers) - tryouts to become a paratrooper. The tryouts are next Sunday and consists mostly of running, running with sand bags, running with stretchers, and crawling. If I don't get accepted to paratroopers then I will still be going to nahal like originally planned. Wish me luck!
more pictures here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2266669&id=122600898&l=16c1a3d6d0
still trying to upload the video of the tank demo. note to self: patience. damn you internet!
Friday, October 23, 2009
One more month!
Finally - home sweet home. What do I mean by home? I don't really know because it seems that every weekend I end up somewhere else. The last time I was off base I had a 3.5 day weekend and I ended up in 4 different cities (or places - not everywhere I went you could consider it a city, or a town, or even a village). I have lots of friends and realtives all over the country so I try and make my rounds and visit as many people as possible whenever I get the chance. This gives me the chance to get acquainted with the bus and train system in the country. As a soldier I get free transportation as long as I am dressed in my uniform, so I take the buses and trains everywhere. So after 12 days on base (or in this instance bases) I get to go home - this time to the kibbutz. Lets just define home to be not equal to an army base. Yes, I realize the irony because I spend more time on the army base than anywhere else, but please let me have what is left of my sanity.
I finished my week of mind-numbing guard duty on a different base. For those of you who know me, I have had a number of mind-numbing jobs throughout my university career. I have watched luggage and washed glass, just to name a few. I'm sure that everyone can rest easy knowing that guard duty is just as applicable to mechanical engineering as is glass washing. Shout out to the fantastic University of Waterloo for giving me an education that provided me with such a wide array of totally applicable job opportunities to my degree. However, I'm sure that if the university found out that their education system was helping to defend Israel, someone might have something to say about it. The following is part of the transcript from one of the fantastic (aside: up until now I'm sure you can sense the sarcasm in this paragraph. Unfortunately, and its sad that I have to explicitly say this, but the rest of the paragraph is not sarcasm or fiction but 100% fact. No the 1 in the '100%' is not a typo, and I'm not trying to fool you all again, but the following is one hundred percent fact.) professors of Electrical and Computer Engineering at Waterloo - Dr. Mohammed Elmasry, who was (or still is, who knows) the spokesperson of the Candian Islamic Congress. In 2004 on a talk show in Canada he said the following in regards to the validity of suicide bombing that Palestinians use to inflict fear and terror amongst Israelis.
ELMASRY: Anybody above 18 is a part of the Israeli army...
COREN (host): So everyone in Israel and anyone and everyone in Israel, irrespective of gender, over the age of 18 is a valid target?
ELMASRY: Yes, I would say.
read more of the transcript here: http://www.montrealmuslimnews.net/transcript.htm
Well I'm not going to get into how retarded this guy is, but feel free to share your thoughts with the President of the University, David Johnston and Leo Rothenberg - the Dean of Engineering. And yes, Elmasry is still a professor at UW. I've already done most of the work for you by listing their contact information below, so just take 2 seconds to send them off a quick email.
So up until now, everytime we have done something it has been with our tzevet. For example, the commander would give us 7 minutes to go make our beds and we would have to be back outside in a chet formation (3/4 rectangle) standing at attention. My tzevet is/was 14 people (more on the is/was part soon). Now we are doing everything with the machlakah - 62 people. Needless to say it takes quite a lot longer to make a symmetric chet with 62 people than it does with only 14. So now we are back to doing more pushups because of the morons. Most people don't like the fact that we are doing this becuase they have inherrited a hell of a lot of stupid people. I on the other hand think its fantastic. In the politest way possible, I am not in the ideal tzevet. 2 guys are in jail. One of them for threatening another person with a fork in the lunch room. A third guy is AWOL - haven't seen him in weeks. #4 is playing crazy. After bedtime, he spent an entire night slowly walking laps around the base petting a turtle. There were 2 commanders following him from a distance incase he tried to physically harm himself. He now works every day in the lunch room. This is just scratching the surface of what goes on in my tzevet. By having to do everything with the machlakah the ratio of normal people to crazies has improved a lot for me. Unfortunately, all the learning in the classroom is still done with the tzevet.
So yesterday I was very excited for a number of reasons. The most obvious one was that it was Thursday, which means that the next day is Friday and I get to go home. Secondly, I didn't have to do my 12-6PM guarding shift, so that was a plus. During lunch I got 4 servings of meat, so that was fantastic. I also got a full night sleep for the first time in a week - and by full night I mean I got 7.5 consecutive hours of sleep, however that still involved waking up at 4AM. From the half day of being back on base, I was able to catch up on all the drama that goes on. As I suspected, it was a good thing that I was able to get away from the base for a few days. People were tweaking out because they were on base for so long and going crazy. Also in the week that I was gone, 2 people were sent to jail and by the end of the 2 weeks about 40% of the machlakah had received some form of sanction (extra hours they had to stay on base, or the entire weekend).
I have one more month left of this ulpan course before I go back to basic training with my kravi (combat) unit. Two months have passed, and I'm about ready to get out of here. There is only so much I can take of some of these people and all the stupid things that go on here. Luckily before I feel like I'm about to go crazy, something good happens - either a weekend, a day off, sending me to another base for 5 days, etc. Even something as simple as melon slices at lunch is a fantastic thing. So even though this place sucks, without it I would not have the motivation to learn hebrew and work out. The 3 months I was in Israel prior to joining the army I barely learned a new word in Hebrew, and did not get into any better shape. So to keep me from going crazy from the boredom and the people, I learn hebrew and work out.
So long until next week. Thanks for reading and mentioning how you liked the last post. I will attempt to continue to end up in interesting situations purely for my readers' amusement. So to my loyal readers, keep reading and feel free to link your friends to the blog.
I finished my week of mind-numbing guard duty on a different base. For those of you who know me, I have had a number of mind-numbing jobs throughout my university career. I have watched luggage and washed glass, just to name a few. I'm sure that everyone can rest easy knowing that guard duty is just as applicable to mechanical engineering as is glass washing. Shout out to the fantastic University of Waterloo for giving me an education that provided me with such a wide array of totally applicable job opportunities to my degree. However, I'm sure that if the university found out that their education system was helping to defend Israel, someone might have something to say about it. The following is part of the transcript from one of the fantastic (aside: up until now I'm sure you can sense the sarcasm in this paragraph. Unfortunately, and its sad that I have to explicitly say this, but the rest of the paragraph is not sarcasm or fiction but 100% fact. No the 1 in the '100%' is not a typo, and I'm not trying to fool you all again, but the following is one hundred percent fact.) professors of Electrical and Computer Engineering at Waterloo - Dr. Mohammed Elmasry, who was (or still is, who knows) the spokesperson of the Candian Islamic Congress. In 2004 on a talk show in Canada he said the following in regards to the validity of suicide bombing that Palestinians use to inflict fear and terror amongst Israelis.
ELMASRY: Anybody above 18 is a part of the Israeli army...
COREN (host): So everyone in Israel and anyone and everyone in Israel, irrespective of gender, over the age of 18 is a valid target?
ELMASRY: Yes, I would say.
read more of the transcript here: http://www.montrealmuslimnews.net/transcript.htm
Well I'm not going to get into how retarded this guy is, but feel free to share your thoughts with the President of the University, David Johnston and Leo Rothenberg - the Dean of Engineering. And yes, Elmasry is still a professor at UW. I've already done most of the work for you by listing their contact information below, so just take 2 seconds to send them off a quick email.
Office of the President
The University of Waterloo
200 University Avenue West
Waterloo, ON
Canada N2L 3G1
Email: president@uwaterloo.ca
Phone: 519-888-4567, ext. 32202
Fax: 519-888-6337
Email: leoroth@uwaterloo.ca
Phone: (519) 888-4567 ext.33759
Fax: (519) 888-4349
So despite my mind numbing work at obscene hours of the day (and night) I did actually learn something that is worth while sharing with the internet. First some basic facts. Yes, again FACTS. I think (and hope) most of my readers know this, but just for those who stumbled upon my blog and who might not be very educated on middle eastern politics:
#1. Israel is a DEMOCRACY.
#2. There is religious FREEDOM in Israel.
So to the answer... when your on an army base surrounded by Muslim villages doing guard duty from 2AM-6AM you learn that the first of five calls to prayer (adhan) of the day occurs at exactly 430AM. The adhan is a loud announcement over a loud speaker notifying everyone its time to pray. You can also hear the call to prayer in the old city of Jerusalem. Yes, there are Muslims that live in the old city. And yes, they are legally allowed to live there. So if you ever happen to be thinking negatively about Israel, ask yourself why you don't hear the adhan where you live. So practically, what did this mean to me? To lead into it, firstly I should point out that typically when you do mind numbing jobs its best not to look at your watch, so the time passes by quickly. However, I constantly look at my watch to see what time it is becuase at the 45 minute mark of every hour I get to sit down until the hour. This makes time pass by extremely slowly. So at the sounding of the adhan, I knew that I had 15 more minutes until I could sit down, and only an hour and a half left of my shift.
So what the hell do you do between the hours of 2-6AM when your not really allowed to do anything but stand and guard? I don't know anyone who may or may not have done any of the following things during such hours or others, but things not to do are:
- write blog posts: In a completely unrelated note, I'm glad that everyone enjoyed my previous blog post, I got lots of positive responses. If you haven't read it, do so.
- work out: pushups, situps, and lifting weights.
- study hebrew words that one might not know.
So up until now, everytime we have done something it has been with our tzevet. For example, the commander would give us 7 minutes to go make our beds and we would have to be back outside in a chet formation (3/4 rectangle) standing at attention. My tzevet is/was 14 people (more on the is/was part soon). Now we are doing everything with the machlakah - 62 people. Needless to say it takes quite a lot longer to make a symmetric chet with 62 people than it does with only 14. So now we are back to doing more pushups because of the morons. Most people don't like the fact that we are doing this becuase they have inherrited a hell of a lot of stupid people. I on the other hand think its fantastic. In the politest way possible, I am not in the ideal tzevet. 2 guys are in jail. One of them for threatening another person with a fork in the lunch room. A third guy is AWOL - haven't seen him in weeks. #4 is playing crazy. After bedtime, he spent an entire night slowly walking laps around the base petting a turtle. There were 2 commanders following him from a distance incase he tried to physically harm himself. He now works every day in the lunch room. This is just scratching the surface of what goes on in my tzevet. By having to do everything with the machlakah the ratio of normal people to crazies has improved a lot for me. Unfortunately, all the learning in the classroom is still done with the tzevet.
So yesterday I was very excited for a number of reasons. The most obvious one was that it was Thursday, which means that the next day is Friday and I get to go home. Secondly, I didn't have to do my 12-6PM guarding shift, so that was a plus. During lunch I got 4 servings of meat, so that was fantastic. I also got a full night sleep for the first time in a week - and by full night I mean I got 7.5 consecutive hours of sleep, however that still involved waking up at 4AM. From the half day of being back on base, I was able to catch up on all the drama that goes on. As I suspected, it was a good thing that I was able to get away from the base for a few days. People were tweaking out because they were on base for so long and going crazy. Also in the week that I was gone, 2 people were sent to jail and by the end of the 2 weeks about 40% of the machlakah had received some form of sanction (extra hours they had to stay on base, or the entire weekend).
I have one more month left of this ulpan course before I go back to basic training with my kravi (combat) unit. Two months have passed, and I'm about ready to get out of here. There is only so much I can take of some of these people and all the stupid things that go on here. Luckily before I feel like I'm about to go crazy, something good happens - either a weekend, a day off, sending me to another base for 5 days, etc. Even something as simple as melon slices at lunch is a fantastic thing. So even though this place sucks, without it I would not have the motivation to learn hebrew and work out. The 3 months I was in Israel prior to joining the army I barely learned a new word in Hebrew, and did not get into any better shape. So to keep me from going crazy from the boredom and the people, I learn hebrew and work out.
So long until next week. Thanks for reading and mentioning how you liked the last post. I will attempt to continue to end up in interesting situations purely for my readers' amusement. So to my loyal readers, keep reading and feel free to link your friends to the blog.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
My first real emergency on base!
so there are 3 different parTs of my day: guarding for 10 hours, on call for 10 hours and 'free time' for 4 hours. if you are guarding and thre is an emergency (akpatzah) wHere the sirens sound you just throw on your helmet and sit tight. if you are on call you have 3 minutes to be fully dressed, vest done up helmet on your head and at the war room. this means that you can't get undressed fully even though the war room is only 20 seconds from my bed. durIng 'free time' you don't have to wear your uniform and you are allowed to shower - because of that they give you 420 seconds to be fully dreSsed at the war room if there is an emergency. i say 420 seconds because it gives the false reality that it is longer than 7 minutes.
so we had a real emergency - thats right, not a drill but a real akpatza. it happened juSt after 10pm during my on call period and i managed To be at the war roOm dressed in 15 seconds. if that isn't impressive enough read on about my acts of heroism. by the way, feel free to write to the army recommending me for an awaRd or a pay raise (pay raise is preferred). so how did i get there so quickly? trick question - i was already there. what took 15 seconds was to take the helmet out of mY vest and put it on. every day at 10pm i have what is called aliyat mishmar which is a procedural thing where they chcek all your equipment and go over the rules.
so what caused the akpatza? as i was waIting for the aliyat mishmar i heard what sounded like heavy rain or ahail. the noise was that of druze kids (aside: druze is a Sect of islam - druzim are loyal to the country they live in and therefore serve in the idf - unlike other muslim israeli citizens who don't have to serve in the idF) throwing handfuls of stones which were hitting the roof and sides of the barracks. all of a sudden i see all the kids rUnning towrads the noise and then everyone running away from it. in addition to that there were kids fighting. once the siren sounded we traded in our guns for riot gear: batons, pLexiglass shields and tear gas. abouta dozen of us got in a line and created a Long barrier with our shields and we started inching our way towards the few kids throwing the stonse. as the rocks were raining down on Our shilds one of the soldiers threw a canister of tear gas into the crowd. at that point, most of the kids dispersed but there were still a few throwing stones. at that point most of the kids dispersed but there were stilla few throwing stones. as the commotion was dying down i saw out of the corner of my eye one kid sprinting by me about 20 feet away. the next thing i notice is a second kid running through the smoke From the tear gas with a dull knife (one that we eat in the lunch room with). he was in persuit of the first kid and was following the same path. i started to run towards the kid But he didn't see me coming because i was outside his peripheral vision. i then laid a hUge bod check on this scrawny 140 pound kid leading in with my big riot shield. i timed it perfectLy because when i hit him we were perpendicuLar to each other. this kid flew about 10 feet and needless to Say he didn't get back up so quickly. sHortly after that the situation was under control and everthIng was back to normal with only a few minor injuries.
so whats up with the random upper case letters all over the place? if you haven't already figured it out, piece the letters togeTher: 'THIS STORY IS FULL OF BULLSHIT'. Feel free however to stop reading now and forget the previous sentance. Have I mentioned yet that guarding for 10 hours a day is boring as hell and there is nothing else to do? My creativity is drawn mostly from sheer boredom but some of the story is factual.
The story in short: Druzim were throwing stones and fighting and there was an akpatza. There was NO riot gear, batons or tear gas. What was my role in all of this? - 'sit over there'. What a downer, eh? Wasn't the first story way better?
so we had a real emergency - thats right, not a drill but a real akpatza. it happened juSt after 10pm during my on call period and i managed To be at the war roOm dressed in 15 seconds. if that isn't impressive enough read on about my acts of heroism. by the way, feel free to write to the army recommending me for an awaRd or a pay raise (pay raise is preferred). so how did i get there so quickly? trick question - i was already there. what took 15 seconds was to take the helmet out of mY vest and put it on. every day at 10pm i have what is called aliyat mishmar which is a procedural thing where they chcek all your equipment and go over the rules.
so what caused the akpatza? as i was waIting for the aliyat mishmar i heard what sounded like heavy rain or ahail. the noise was that of druze kids (aside: druze is a Sect of islam - druzim are loyal to the country they live in and therefore serve in the idf - unlike other muslim israeli citizens who don't have to serve in the idF) throwing handfuls of stones which were hitting the roof and sides of the barracks. all of a sudden i see all the kids rUnning towrads the noise and then everyone running away from it. in addition to that there were kids fighting. once the siren sounded we traded in our guns for riot gear: batons, pLexiglass shields and tear gas. abouta dozen of us got in a line and created a Long barrier with our shields and we started inching our way towards the few kids throwing the stonse. as the rocks were raining down on Our shilds one of the soldiers threw a canister of tear gas into the crowd. at that point, most of the kids dispersed but there were still a few throwing stones. at that point most of the kids dispersed but there were stilla few throwing stones. as the commotion was dying down i saw out of the corner of my eye one kid sprinting by me about 20 feet away. the next thing i notice is a second kid running through the smoke From the tear gas with a dull knife (one that we eat in the lunch room with). he was in persuit of the first kid and was following the same path. i started to run towards the kid But he didn't see me coming because i was outside his peripheral vision. i then laid a hUge bod check on this scrawny 140 pound kid leading in with my big riot shield. i timed it perfectLy because when i hit him we were perpendicuLar to each other. this kid flew about 10 feet and needless to Say he didn't get back up so quickly. sHortly after that the situation was under control and everthIng was back to normal with only a few minor injuries.
so whats up with the random upper case letters all over the place? if you haven't already figured it out, piece the letters togeTher: 'THIS STORY IS FULL OF BULLSHIT'. Feel free however to stop reading now and forget the previous sentance. Have I mentioned yet that guarding for 10 hours a day is boring as hell and there is nothing else to do? My creativity is drawn mostly from sheer boredom but some of the story is factual.
The story in short: Druzim were throwing stones and fighting and there was an akpatza. There was NO riot gear, batons or tear gas. What was my role in all of this? - 'sit over there'. What a downer, eh? Wasn't the first story way better?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Gadna Base
So this week is going to be awesome, except for the downside. They sent a few of us off to a different base this week. First the plus side: As I mentioned we are in a heat wave and its hot as hell. The room I am sleeping in has AC which is key. Also I am treated like a human being. The base I am on is a Gadna base - where 16 and 17 year olds come for a week to see what the army is like. I have to do my work (which I will get to later) but other than that I can do whatever I want. The food is a lot better ere and we get served our food at the table so I feel more important. Since I walk around with my gun the kids mistake me for a mefaked which is pretty funny. And the best part - one word: internet.
I was given about 10 minutes to pack my stuff for what I was told was a day of guard duty on another base. After I packed my stuff I was told I would be guarding for 5 days. I only have clean clothes for maximum 2 more days.
Now the downside: What is my purpose on this base? Guard duty :-(. First the plus side - I only have 2 shifts a day and my first one I am allowed to sit the entire time and there is someone there to keep me company (or I am there to keep him company).
And now the downside - the schedule:
12PM-6PM shift
+ 2AM-6AM shift
= 10 hours of guarding per day
So you are probably thinking I can get about 7 hours of consecutive sleep between 6PM and 2AM if I try hard. However, dinner is at 615 and then I have to guard for someone else while he eats. I also need time to shower and do other things.I also need to be outside at 10PM for about 3 minutes fully dressed so they can check my gun and equipment - so that would interrupt any sleeping time I could get.
Hopefully the plusses outwiegh the minuses. And so much for only having one day of guard duty :-(
I was given about 10 minutes to pack my stuff for what I was told was a day of guard duty on another base. After I packed my stuff I was told I would be guarding for 5 days. I only have clean clothes for maximum 2 more days.
Now the downside: What is my purpose on this base? Guard duty :-(. First the plus side - I only have 2 shifts a day and my first one I am allowed to sit the entire time and there is someone there to keep me company (or I am there to keep him company).
And now the downside - the schedule:
12PM-6PM shift
+ 2AM-6AM shift
= 10 hours of guarding per day
So you are probably thinking I can get about 7 hours of consecutive sleep between 6PM and 2AM if I try hard. However, dinner is at 615 and then I have to guard for someone else while he eats. I also need time to shower and do other things.I also need to be outside at 10PM for about 3 minutes fully dressed so they can check my gun and equipment - so that would interrupt any sleeping time I could get.
Hopefully the plusses outwiegh the minuses. And so much for only having one day of guard duty :-(
Masa Mem-Mem
This week we were stuck on base again for shabbat - 12 days on base. Now that we are halfway done the 3 month course we are in the thick of things and in the classroom a lot learning hebrew. The classes are really boring because we go really slowly and I understand just about everything being taught. I am so bored that I have resorted to reading the Hebrew-English dictionary in class (I finished 50 pages and am now on the letter 'C'). I writedown new words and study them later. Because of my boredom they have finally started giving me private hewbrew lessons. I learn more in the 30 minute class than I do the rest of the day.
We had our second hike (masa) which was approximately 7km. The hike was a lot of fun - we did it in the evening so it was dark and the terrain was very hilly. The hike didn't start out so well - just as we started, the samelet shouted azar - which translates to grenade (dont worry - its not real) so we all had to jump on our stomachs and cover our heads. The next thing i feel is the weight of the largest guy in our machlakah jump on top of me.
Later into the hike we had to jump on our stomachs in shooting position. We were in a thorny area and it felt like I had jumped into a thornbush crotch first. As everyone was swearing in pain our female commanders were telling us to be quiet and stop acting like girls. They obviously didn't understand the pain. They made us get up and do it again. I took a few steps backthis time but the end result was still the same - a lot of pain in the crotch region and everywhere else.
The highlight of the masa was towards the end. The entire time we are walking our eyes are always on the ground in front of you so you can see what you are stepping on so you don't twist your ankles (which almost happened about 50 times). All of a sudden the ground got softer and it felt like we were walking through crap. It also smelled like crap. The nextthing we heard was 'moooooo'. Everyone looked up and some people were shouting while others were yelling 'shhhhhh!!!'. We werer walking right through a cow farm with cows only 20 feet away from us on both sides. We tried our best to walk quitely as not to disturb them during their sleep and mating. Yes, you read that correctly - we walking in on 2 cows having sex.
We had guard duty again, bt this time luckily only for one day. I had 2 shifts: from 6-8PM during dinner and free time and then again from 2-4AM. We also had another emergency drill, where this time I slightly twisted my ankle. So during shabbat - instead of having fun playing soccer or football I was stick in my sauna-esque room (its a heat wave now) trying to keep my weight off my foot.
We had our second hike (masa) which was approximately 7km. The hike was a lot of fun - we did it in the evening so it was dark and the terrain was very hilly. The hike didn't start out so well - just as we started, the samelet shouted azar - which translates to grenade (dont worry - its not real) so we all had to jump on our stomachs and cover our heads. The next thing i feel is the weight of the largest guy in our machlakah jump on top of me.
Later into the hike we had to jump on our stomachs in shooting position. We were in a thorny area and it felt like I had jumped into a thornbush crotch first. As everyone was swearing in pain our female commanders were telling us to be quiet and stop acting like girls. They obviously didn't understand the pain. They made us get up and do it again. I took a few steps backthis time but the end result was still the same - a lot of pain in the crotch region and everywhere else.
The highlight of the masa was towards the end. The entire time we are walking our eyes are always on the ground in front of you so you can see what you are stepping on so you don't twist your ankles (which almost happened about 50 times). All of a sudden the ground got softer and it felt like we were walking through crap. It also smelled like crap. The nextthing we heard was 'moooooo'. Everyone looked up and some people were shouting while others were yelling 'shhhhhh!!!'. We werer walking right through a cow farm with cows only 20 feet away from us on both sides. We tried our best to walk quitely as not to disturb them during their sleep and mating. Yes, you read that correctly - we walking in on 2 cows having sex.
We had guard duty again, bt this time luckily only for one day. I had 2 shifts: from 6-8PM during dinner and free time and then again from 2-4AM. We also had another emergency drill, where this time I slightly twisted my ankle. So during shabbat - instead of having fun playing soccer or football I was stick in my sauna-esque room (its a heat wave now) trying to keep my weight off my foot.
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